So the suns gone down on Big Fat Gypsy weddings faster than George Michael at a cocks convention, its so sad i really really hoped they would do an Eastenders style soap where we could all unite on a Tuesday evening and watch the day to day goings on around the sites of the UK, as im typing it i can see your beady eyes thinking who can we pitch this super idea to! yeah well that's aright, as long as the fucking thing gets made. just think a weekly or even twice weekly dose or "Grabbing" , Fighting and driveways being tarmacked by the likes of resident King of the gypsies Paddy O'D.
Its like i cant remember Tuesday nights before this program was on and i will miss it like a dog ive had for a few months and now its run away after ive paid for all its injections, the ungrateful little fucker, i dont know what they are going to put on instead of our beloved BFGW but i can guarantee it wont be a patch on it.
This week concentrated on the highlight of the gypsy calender, now i use the word calender but i doubt any of the cunts have seen what one looks like.. the highlight is Appleby horse fair, when what seems like every Gypsy worth his tarmacking gloves descends on a quiet town to buy and sell horse's, goods in the market and "Grab" the shit out of a woman! if like me you feel compelled to go to this years show its being held 3rd to the 5th of June, saying that i would like to go but i doubt it will be the charming Romany crew we need to worry about, on the other hand i might just feel safer going to the Notting hill carnival dressed as the Ku Klux Klan! what do you think? Appleby or Notting hill?
I'm only taking the piss, all my sheets are blue in my house and i wouldnt go Notting Hill in an armoured car.
The final show gave us insight into billy one of the event organisers.. The guy can jump in his car and be at the fair in 2 hours, but Billy decides to take his horses and old skool cart adding another 13 days and 22 hours to the journey, yes 2 weeks by horse and cart or 2 hours by car! are you taking the piss? he gets about an hour into his journey and calls his wife to drive and bring him some stew, now he seems like a nice enough chap, but you are defiantly taking the piss out of that wife mate. and i need to know for the love of god how he charges his phone that he always seems to be on whilst, well i wouldn't call it driving the horse and cart, but hes in control of it on a main road. no electric in his old cart, so i reckon hes telling porky's about only staying in that cart/house/tin of quality street thing he's dragging up the road.
we also got to meet Bridget who kept her blinds now in her bedroom incase somebody peeked through the window and see her dresses. erm so what? do you think they will be able to see the colours and design and within 3 days make exact replicas ya doughnut? i did feel a bit sorry for these girls getting married to blokes who wont even show their faces on Tv, i mean what do they have to fear? if a bloke knocks on my door selling rugs or offering to "do" my driveway with an Irish accent, im going to assume he's a fucking gypsy no messing.
I was Hoodwinked before when a car with 2 gypsy blokes pulled up and offered to sell me £90 worth of T mobile vouchers for £20, now that's a bargain in any language, so quick as a flash i got my £20 out and handed it over like i was buying the cure for cancer, he placed the phone cards in a green envelope in front of me and handed me the envelope, we made small talk and they drove off with me probably waving like a dickhead. i opened the envelope to discover i had just bought some green envelopes folded up inside of another green envelope, a bargain at £20, so thats only £10 per envelope. not bad for bright green stationary, and they say you cant Con and honest man.
We recorded episode number 6 of the Big and Clever podcast on Sunday and had a loads of fun doing it, our latest figures show its being downloaded by over 6000 people which is amazing, to everyone whos taken the time to listen i want to say thank you, it is a right laugh to be involved with and we will be recording number 7 in about a weeks time. if you want to email us any funny news stories please feel free and you will get credited on the podcast for sending it in.
So looking at my twitter it looked pretty grim on Valentines day, not many people seemed to have got a card or any sort of fuss made over them which is a shame, saying that i got nothing either and ended up going out with Fiona and Emma for an early nandos, where Emma ordered chips and Rice with her chicken. now i pointed this out at the time because i was baffled as i have never seen anyone order or even want both! but after me asking on twitter it seems its normal for girls and blokes think its not allowed.. any thoughts???
So now its behind us we have pancake day and Easter to look forward to soon, so lets put the horrid V day in the past until next year, when we can celebrate the death of some paedophile called Valentino, who the day of valentines is celebrated because of (see facts, thats what im giving you..hardcore facts lol), so thats enough to say you didnt want to celebrate in the first place lol
Right so dont think ive missed anything, we covered the fact we are going to miss BFGW and will all be looking at our Telly Boxes at 9pm next week with blank stares on our faces and V day, so if you have any feedback or thoughts please do get in contact via twitter, email, facebook, smoke signals, Morse code or carrier pidgin..
Until next time lets get out there Grabbing and all that old shite!! be good www.twitter/IamDannyBlaze
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