good day to you lot, welcome to another exciting episode of loose women.. its not but it conjurers up the idea its either porn or something worth reading about. which will have to be decided by the following taps of the key and you opinion. so we had another episode of MY BIG FAT GYPSY WEDDING last night, and i have to show my disappointment at not seeing any GRABBING at all, i feel robbed, i been looking forward all week to picking up some hits n tips as well as the location of the car park in episode 1 that i still haven't found.
this week was about two things mainly, some deluded 17 year old Jordan wannabe who had a dress quoted in today's Guardian newspaper as weighing 20 stone, which from the looks of her is more than 5 stone heavier than she is, complete with about £80 worth of Duracell batteries what does power the masses of fairy lights hidden in the dress for her "surprise revealing" on her first dance which was to UB40's "red red wine" (*note to this poor girl.. u can request whatever song you want for your "first dance", i can recommend something slow, such as Shania Twain - You're Still the One) im sure its one of the most popular songs in the land for weddings. (i used to really want WAYNE WONDERS - NO LETTING GO as my wedding song, but seeing as ive not actually managed to drag any poor girl up the isle, i think i may be able to get a hover car to the church by the time i actually find "the one" and by ONE i mean anyone..lol)
so back to this bloody gypo wedding.. basically the girl looked like a cross between a UFO and a meringue once the lights have been switched off to show a PIMPED OUT dress complete with moving butterfly wings. Now i can see why someone would Go mad buying a nice dress and that but then they totally loose interest when it comes to the venue for holding the reception or having any sort of dress restrictions for guests, i mean i kept seeing people wearing tracksuits, leggings and generally making no effort as a guest at the weddings we been shown so far. who turns up to a wedding in a fucking tracksuit? i would tell them to piss off and think they was being disrespectful.
as compelling as this series is, i think we are only being shown the better class of travellers as i know from first hand experience that they are not as friendly as we are being led to believe, it got a bit closer to the real deal when Dale Farm was shown, where we got to meet 6 & 8 year old children who were having spray tans (i see spray tans being offered in a tent at Dagenham market for about £15, who the fuck goes to the Market for a spray tan? i feel like ive only just got to planet earth and still finding peoples behaviour a bit odd), these kids were a lot more tatty n rough around the edges than last weeks "gypsy princesses", who by comparison weren't that bad and had even me thinking that i might be able to be convinced to marry one of the fuckers, but these little dodgy characters had me cringing as they got covered in make up complete with "beauty spot", but is wasn't until after the kids had there Conformation that i really felt social services need to get in there and say something about tiny kids wearing batty riders, and vest tops usually reserved for pole dancers and prostitutes, but each to their own i suppose. lol
in the trailer for next week it showed that Grabbing is back on the menu, so i shall be watching strictly for that purpose!!
yesterday i wrote a funny and what i thought witty joke about Jedward..as follows...Jedward, i cant tell them 2 apart..which one is the Gay one? >> about 4 hours later some fans of Jedward started twittering me saying how upset they was at me, and i was being homophobic and didn't know them, i cant tell you how much i laughed at this, it really did brighten up my evening knowing somewhere out there i pissed off some die hard Jedward fans. my life is complete.
right now this podcast, i am pleased to say it got to number 1 in the iTunes "new and noteworthy" chart yesterday, its going really well and im really looking forward to recording number 5 this coming Monday, so if you have an iPhone or an iTunes account please do take the time to download it and have a sneaky listen, i would be most grateful if you even managed to write a review "hint hint"..here is the link again in case you didn't get it the first 100 times.
http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/big-clever-truevip/id411049804
in life failure is not an option, but its a way out for the weak and lazy, its better to try and decide its not for you rather than sit in your house talking about what you would do if you had this and that, i know opportunities dont really knock at your door as the program says "opportunity knocks"..it dont, but i am willing to put my hand to most things but if something isnt for me than i probably wont waste my time with it. i feel that doing things just to please others will eventually lead to unhappyness, its ok to be selfish as long as you get the balance right in the end. this isnt a dig and at anyone but just a state of mind.
right gonna cut it there and go do something productive, remember positive attitudes can make positive things happen, January is always a bad moth seeing as most people are gonna still be paying for Christmas and wont get back on their feet till February and the weather isnt really helping, so bare that in mind and know that summer will be here before you know it x
be good and think at least i don't live in a caravan..and if u do life in a caravan..get down the fucking council its 2011 for fuck sake
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