20th april 2010

So volcanic ash is stopping millions (yeah I just sort of said millions, I don’t actually have or intend to check my facts on this bit) of people from travelling by air and going on holidays, I am convinced that this is god’s way of pleasing me because I am not the sod due to fly anywhere nice and hot for a well deserved break, so if you was one of the poor souls due to fly and now your stuck at home reading my blog, please note that I am shedding the tiniest of tears for you, your plight which has struck me in the deep sub conscious of my brain and through to my heart which is hurting for you.. and if you believe that load of rubbish your more stupid than everyone thinks you look, I honestly couldn’t care less, all I know is that when I’m ready for a break it better be sorted of me and Jesus will be having words. And the first word we will be exchanging is the ubber offensive word cunt; because I would be very upset to say the least if I couldn’t get away on holiday after booking the bloody thing and all the stuff I have to arrange like cover at work. Yes I wouldn’t be a happy camper at all!!
So with all the swearing and pointless banter out of the way shall we move on to the nitty gritty of this weeks blog by Daniel Blaze aged 34 and a half, yes too old to be on facebook but too young to be going on SAGA holidays, and after all age is nothing but a number, but when that number starts to get higher than you remember your parents being when you was a kid, you come to realize that yes you are getting old and you are fighting age at every corner, with the aid of sun beds, under eye roll on’s and trendy clothes that keep that youthful appearance strong, but I don’t act my age at any time of the day or night, I can only do me. And I will continue to act as if I’m 21 until the day the baby Jesus comes down to our sin filled earth and says “come in number 9 your time is up”, at that point I will gracefully tell our lord and savour to fuck off and live another 100 years annoying anyone who will listen with my stories of when I was a thieving little cunt who lived in Peckham and the time I sent my little cousin Jamie over the shop with monopoly money and he came back with sweets because the man in the sweet shop must of felt sorry for a 6/7 year old or the other time we nicked 10p out of his mums boyfriends penny jar and I sent Jamie over the shop, he got run over on the way back but didn’t let go of the sweets and I ate them whilst he was on way to hospital in an ambulance, which on reflexion seems a very heartless thing to do, the thought that even after being hit by a moving car he managed to stop himself letting go of the spoils of our plundering the oversized vodka bottle filled with change. What a good kid lol
During my time living with Jamie we lived on the Stockwell park estate in you guessed it. Stockwell, it was a brilliant time as kids I was about 8 and Jamie 6 and a half. Being brought up on an estate in the 80s was an eye opener as far as colour is concerned, how I looked at it then and even now is that we were all in the same boat (basically no one had any money so no one was better than anyone else) , I remember discovering new foods from African and west Indian friends mums who would make us dinner if we were in their houses. On the estate everyone pretty much knew everyone and I never remember not feeling safe, even when the older kids used to play a game named “Brixton riots” this game was played in the sheds with a team at opposite ends throwing bricks and anything they could muster. I only have once recollection of someone getting hurt, a friend & neighbour we called Derma as his African name we could not pronounce, he had a brick land on his head and my aunt had to look after him as his mum wasn’t in. But honestly he was a bit hyper and a little bit nuts before any brick ever landed on his head.


At one of my birthday parties as a kid I remember him jumping around like a nutter to some madness song and landing on my face mask I had been bought for my BMX, it was a goggle and face guard thing that I got as part of my riders outfit which consisted of padded trousers and mesh padded top and a bike helmet, I already had the BMX which was a Dirt Burner and quite a respectable bike, not as good as the Diamond back, but hey beggars and choosers and all that jazz, I remember years later when I moved back to Peckham with my mum leaving my bike outside Sainsbury’s and coming out and it had been nicked, what the fuck was I thinking leaving it there on the floor like a free present for anyone to take. I went home and told my mum I had asked some man to keep an eye on it for me, which was a lie because if I had said I just left it, I would of got beats.
Whilst still one the Stockwell park estate my mum was making her living with other peoples cheque books and used to buy me and Jamie nice things now and then, I remember us both getting matching Benetton tracksuits which were multi colour and didn’t make us stand out in anyway lol, another time we asked for Millwall football kits, now I have never been big into football but we did used to play football with the other kids on the back grass between the two blocks, so wanted to try and look the part. So some time after our requests for our royal blue Millwall kits we were given our lovely brand new royal blue football kits, now you see I didn’t mention Millwall in that last sentence? That’s because my mother had gone and bought us, and I remember every single detail about that kit and the logos, it was two worlds with a banner sewn through it saying BIRMINGHAM CITY FOOTBALL CLUB, now I happen to know that Birmingham is over 100 miles away from Stockwell so I had never seen or heard of this fucking team before and being made to go out to play in the full kit including socks and shorts was like asking to get bullied, maybe at a distance you might think we were supporting a London team but the closer you got the game would unravel and the BIRMINGHAM CITY FOOTBALL CLUB lettering was all to clear to see. The shame.

I am convinced people are not receiving this blog as feedback has hit an all time low and some people are saying its not coming through, so if you are lucky enough to be reading this please take the time to let me know you have received it, as imp starting to feel I’m talking to myself the last few weeks.
This Thursday see’s the launch of my new uk garage night at BoHos bar in lordship lane, if you can make it down that would be lovely, its a chilled out night from 8 until 12 with loads of cheap drinks and music to make you smile, I’m a bit nervous about how its going to be but loads of you say your coming so I’m hoping its gonna be great.
I cant help think imp forgetting something but hey, imp sure il remember as soon as I have sent this out, but before you go I am still only on about 90 followers on twitter so feel free to join and make me feel big lol, saying that I have made over 500 tweets in that time so I might put up a few funny ones in next weeks blog, now go and enjoy this great weather were having and feel free to share this blog with anyone any everyone, love peace and hair Greece