So its starting to feel like summer with our lovely warm weather and sun newspaper £15 holidays to parts of Spain that no ones ever heard of, if like me you have been waiting for what seems like an eternity to get your summer clothes out of the loft then my friend we are as one in our quest for sunny days and late nights whilst wearing bright colours.
However after dragging last summers summer collection out of the loft I realized its all too big so its all gone to the salvation army charity shop, and I took myself up to the Ralph Lauren outlet shop in Oxfordshire where you can buy loads of nice things for a fraction of the cost, and no its not like TK (jumble sale) Max, its a lovely little village full of Toffs, now if you don’t know what a Toff is (and its not a chewy sweet) then I shall do my very best to explain what I think I Toff is: the full sentence is as follows “toffee nosed cunt” , someone who is well to do and has more money than you and me, actually thinking about it, I think we should go back up there and mug the rich bastards, but thinking about it, they probably don’t even carry cash. Do you think the next generation of muggers will accept card? “Yo blud gimme your card and let me swipe it”.. “Mans gonna take £200, could you please enter your pin” Yes well that’s defiantly what the future holds in store I’m bloody sure of it.
But that’s enough about the future, today I’m going to keep it in the past where everything’s as it should be, the 1ltr bottles of happy shopper cola were about 17p and snickers used to be called Marathons, the plastic stringy stuff called “Scooby Doos” were all the rage, now I cant pretend that I was any good at the bloody things because I could just about manage a pencil like shape in 2 basic colours, when other people with far more time on their hands knocked up small blocks of council flats in an array of colours, whilst I would sit there and hide the fact that I had made what can only be described as a two colour pencil. What I did seem to be good at was making the kinder egg toys, oh and eating the very limited sized chocolate that came with said kinder egg, and even though it sounds if I’m a dab hand at making the toys, what I failed to mention is that people in a coma could knock up a kinder toy, and even in some cases the toy was already made up if you was lucky enough to find a little blue Smurf in yours. But the best toys were the cars you would have to make up and then put stickers on. You can try and lie about it but if you even assembled one of these cars its a full gone conclusion that one completed you realized that you have put some of the stickers in the wrong place, because like me you thought that you was so clever that you didn’t need to read the instructions, hence having stickers left over that don’t fit anywhere on the car because the bit its for you have put a smaller sicker on. The stresses of childhood ah!
Other pastimes on the Stockwell park estate included building camps in the garages bellow the flats and burning down the sheds directly opposite my aunts house, so now your about to find out why my surname is Blaze and its nothing to do with smoking because I have never smoked (well that’s a lie of sorts, because I have sat down and smoked 20 Benson's on a drug fueled night out with friends about 15 years ago, and I woke up with yellow fingers and a sore throat, so never really bothered taking the habit up full time). Being about 8 or 9 I vividly remember me and my cousin Jamie getting dressed during the summer holidays whilst my aunt was still asleep, leaving the front door on the latch and running down stairs to the sheds which were directly opposite the kitchen window but two floors up (the kitchen that is, not the sheds, I didn’t live 100 years in the future..Try and keep up),.. Once at the sheds we would grab anything that we could use to build a fire, including mattresses, wood, aww fuck it you name it it would burn.
Once the shed was nicely stocked it was time to light it with the lighter that was supposed to be used to light the cooker, after all what a boring life for the humble lighter, lighting the cooker once or twice a day, the lighter and two little kids wanted excitement and yes we bloody got it. After the fire had been lit me and Jamie ran back upstairs got our pajamas back on and sat up at the kitchen window watching the firemen putting out our bright orange creation, now I know you must be thinking one of two things. 1. Watching firemen, are you sure you’re not gay? 2. What a pair of little cunts. And yes you would be right about us being little cunts.
As we would manage to do all this before my aunt (Jamie’s mum) was even awake, now how are you going to top the rest of the day with an adrenaline rush for breakfast like that?
Well we did try, we tried walking in the duck pond fully clothed singing the words to some song called “walking in the sunshine”, and I remember that day because one of our friends came up to us and said that Jamie’s mum had been calling us. Now when I say calling us I don’t mean like we all have mobiles now, NO. The way it was done during the 80s was by your mum or in my case my aunt screaming at the top of lungs from the second floor balcony “Dannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnny....Jammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmie” then what would happen is because we were on this very big estate with kids riding about on their bikes and going here and there on foot, someone would often say “your mums been calling you for ages” it was like an old school version of texting to say your dinners ready.
Whilst on the subject of fire I might as well get it out there that my brushes with burning things down didn’t end whilst living with my aunt. When I was 10 my mum came out of jail and her friend had been offered a council house in Peckham but it was only 2 bedrooms and Tina (the woman not my mum) needed 3 so she told my mum about the house, so my mum decided that we were going to become squatters. And to be fair my mums still there nearly 25 years later, we squatted for nearly 12 years before the council officially offered my mum the house because by law after a period of time which was (because the laws changed now) 12 years and 1 day, the property officially becomes your property. Little fact for ya there. Anyways when we was living there 2 garages were attached to the side of the house which belonged to the church, one day as I had done more than once before I broke into the garages and started emptying all the liquids I could find into this orange bucket with my friends little brother Paul, we stirred the mixture and then I set the top the bucket alight, now this was fun for a minute until the bucket started melting, now being a kid I had not thought this plan through too well, basically there was a bucket full of flammable liquids and mixed together they were probably more flammable that rocket fuel. After realizing that we couldn’t put it out we jumped over the fence and went and hid in the park opposite until the fire brigade came, at which point we walked back over to the boys putting it out, it was at this point that Pauls sister and one of my best friends came past and said and I quote. “What you laughing at?” we said quietly to her that we had lit the fire and she shouted and pointed at us as again this is direct quote “THEY DONE IT!”
Yes Eileen told on us, I remember having to go to Camberwell police station and getting a caution, but there were no laughs from the policeman telling me off once I had left the room, just a caution and being told that it’s staying on record.
Last week is like a blur right now being so busy at the moment with work, but I just want to say thank you to everyone who made it down to BoHos for my weekly Garage night, this Thursday I have a couple of guest djs in the form of Dave “all good” H, Funk Mob and Dj Alert, remember its FREE entry and drinks are very cheap, the night kicks off at 8pm, so get down early and we can build this thing up nicely. Also this Friday you can catch me Dj’ing @ Pleasure which is at the Late Lounge in Bromley for a RnB night and this Saturday for Mc Versatile’s Birthday bash at Scala in Kings Cross which is set to be a night to remember, so that’s your whole weekend taken up with nights out people so I expect to see you at least one of them.
Right that’s me off now, this blog has now been added to the Blogger website so now if your reading this on facebook and next weeks hasn’t shown up you can read it on Blogger.com, the blog feedback is going back up again now so people please continue to drop me your comments on what you read here, it is quite important to me.
Twitters picking up very slowly right now, but starting to have a bit of a laugh on there, I had an argument on there last week, and IL put the bits bellow so you can read it for yourself.. Until next time be good, n thanks for reading x
KimoraReginae @mrdannyblaze Fck. get off my twitter u pussy ass white ugly as prink
@KimoraReginae / ur on ere in ur undies / wot so it's nt just ur dad n uncles who wanna fuck u?
@KimoraReginae / wanna b actress? U couldn't get on CCTV u dumb animal... See more
@KimoraReginae / ur desperate for attention on ere/ u look like ur daddys special girl / just don't tell mummy
@KimoraReginae / yes I'm white/ I'm also proud which is more than can b said 4 ur family / disappointment must run in ur blood
@KimoraReginae / where did ur parents get ur bloody name from? Isn't that the name of sum dumb creature??yes you!
@KimoraReginae / now get back to bed n put sum clothes on incase that colds pneumonia & people with Aids die from that. So cover up sweetie
KimoraReginae @mrdannyblaze Ur FAT ur UGLE ur also GAY fck. some dick u sad fck. i am gonna black u now i'm not even following u why talk to me at all !
KimoraReginae @mrdannyblaze I have love 1001 followers u sad FCK. lol lol lol hahaha
@KimoraReginae / yes Slags usually do have alot of guys sniffing about / y don't u take up spelling coz I need the practice... See more
@KimoraReginae / I no no y ur in ur undies / yes I noticed that fucking face of urs / u look like a crack whore
@KimoraReginae / gay / not wanting to fuck u don't make me gay, it makes me sensible / I wouldn't touch u with a hammer
@KimoraReginae / I'm sure il b the only guy ul block / it's access all areas in ur bedroom u walking disease
@KimoraReginae / being bulimic ain't nothing to shout about u mug / y don't u try keepin ur food down instead of ur knickers
Tuesday 27 April 2010
Wednesday 21 April 2010
22nd march 2010
Sorry this weeks blog is late but I had real life things to do that didn’t involve my world revolving around my pc that is situated in the corner of my living room, placed in the corner as if it had been naught in some way. The last 7 days have been pretty good I must say and the joys of being able to wear a short sleeved T shirt is a blessing, not that I am not allowed to not wear one during the snow and rain, I’m a grown up for fuck sake I will wear flip flops in the snow if I bloody well want. But I don’t want so everything’s right in the world once again. I remember being a kid when all I wanted to do is stay up late and eat sweets until I was sick. Now as an adult all I want to do is go to bed early and eat sweets until I’m sick. So no major changes there I hear you say...well there is like I really need to know why when pizza delivery was first introduced to the uk, if the driver was 1 minutes over the 60 minutes you got the pizza for free.. Why don’t we have that anymore? I really do need to know, not that I can ever remember getting free pizza. I just remember all the companies advertising that deal.
I don’t think it would work now though, can you imagine the arguments about how long someone took to deliver it? I have murders with one of my local pizza delivery places, I can remember 3 separate occasions since I have been at my currant house that I have ordered from them and they have said 45 minutes, I ring them after 50 minutes to be told the driver has left, then a further 10 minutes later I call back and complain..(When I say complain I mean to try and seem pissed off enough to cancel so I get some discount..We all do it don’t we??) Then I get told he is on my road, and he is outside amongst other petty lies these bastards tell to calm you down. Then when it crashes the hour and five minutes barrier and I have been told twice how busy they are and that the driver died whilst on way to my house and that they had to make another pizza which is on way to me with a newly employed driver..I ring back and tell them I DO NOT WANT THE FUCKING PIZZA, SO DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT SEND THE DRIVER TO ME OK!!! Then the same thing has happened 3 separate times. I hang up order food from somewhere else and then the pizza guy turns up like nothings happened. This is where I get really rude and tell him to fuck off. Now you are probably thinking “Dan if you have had problems twice, why did you order a third time?” and that is a good question. Well I look at it like childbirth (bit of a stretch I know), when a woman has a baby I am told it is the worst pain imaginable, but after time goes by the woman forgets all the pain she went through and in a quite a lot of cases has another child, because the brain likes to forget shit that hurts us. So I will be needing a delivery pizza for some reason (usually being hungry or the kids only want pizza and will not eat Chinese or Indian because they are inconsiderate towards there dads likes in take away heart attack in a box foods (that’s bad for you takeaways in general). And I search for one on line and very rudely pizza hut does not deliver to my area (I was going to say address, but I thought it sounded like I had wronged them in some way, but I assure you I have not. I just happen to fall out of the catchment delivery area..And that goes for Dominos too.. cunts), so I always think I should give them just one more try and maybe I was just being a bit of a idiot last time I ordered from there, they aint so bad..Well 3 times out of 3 tells me they are bad.. And give it another 6 months or so when I need a pizza I shall probably be ringing them once again.
Last week loads of you celebrated St Patricks day and I myself am actually Irish but I didn’t really celebrate it, if I am honest I don’t celebrate much these days as I am such a cynical bastard and believe all these holidays were made up by people who own card shops such as Clintons, who always seem to only stock one of any card I ever need when I go into the surrey quays branch. I think it may just be a poor shop in the mighty chain of cards for all occasion’s division of hell. After all now we all have printers and moon pig why do we bother with cards people end up throwing in the bin? I know I sound like a meanie but I have never kept a card in my life.. And for those of you who have no idea who St Patrick was, he was English and was kidnapped at 16 and taken to Ireland as a slave, he later escaped and returned to Britain and became a priest, later returning to Ireland to teach Christianity, using the Irish shamrock to explain the Trinity. (Now you didn’t think you was going to learn anything like that today did ya)
I noticed the other day on bbc3 that the comedian Eddie Izzard was on TV running 43 marathons in the space of a few weeks, running roughly 30 miles a day. Now this guy was doing it for sport relief and is not an athlete, I was shocked to say the least. He was living on ice creams and roadside cafes. Now in case you are unsure how long 43 marathons are its 1000+ miles, now I don’t often say you should feel anyone’s pain but I have to take my hat (baseball cap) off to this guy.
As some of you seem to have noticed I now am in a relationship with a very nice young lady and as some of you have asked I thought I would mention it in my blog as I have sort of been spending most of my spare time with her in the last few weeks, so rather than me saying I went out for dinner, I can just say me and Jess went for dinner lol.. I met her family last week at her birthday meal, I was a bit nervous but I just pictured them all naked and it helped me relax... no I didn’t really that would be plain wrong.. I was on my best behaviour I think. Well I wasn’t asked to leave so I think it went ok.
We did however check out a comedy show last Wednesday at the comedy cafe, and the night was great but I was right about the food, its not that funny, we tried a meze and I had some chicken kebabs on wooden sticks, but the sticks tasted nicer than the chicken which was a bit sad. But the compare was really good and most of the comedians were funny. You really should check it out.. Oh the chocolate cake was banging!!
Now I wanna ask you a couple things, firstly is it ok for a man to say the chocolate cake is to die for? Me neither. I wont say who said it (nooo not me) but it sounded really gay hearing a man say it lol. secondly and bizarrely I have seen 2 different black girls going into sun bed shops for a sun bed, its none of my business what they do with there money or time but I was a little bit confused dot com, I thought the object was for us pale folk to get darker skin.. Any chicks wanna explain to me? Coz I doubt most of you fellas know what a sunbed is.. Saying that I keep seeing more and more guys using them, and yes that includes yours truly lol.. And yes I am gay..Well I’m not but you get my drift
Last week I decided I wanted to get a new tattoo soon and was told a guy called Andy bone was very good and local, so on Sunday I went to see him and thought “fuck it” and let him draw a design on my arm, and before you know it I was in the chair going through pain all for the sake of art, I am well pleased with the result and still have a couple of hours to finish it fully, its just got to have a bit of shading and colouring in, well worth the money spent.
This week I am donning my DJ hat for the late lounge in Bromley, and the nest following Saturdays you can catch me at Pure Temptation @ Scala Kings cross and the following Saturday @ Exposure in Vauxhall.. I am selling tickets for these events, so if you would like any dropped off to you please in box me or text me on 07800 727 291 and let me know how many you need and what area you are in.. both events are sell out nights so don’t be trying all that last minute running around shit because I will be in Margate during the day for Exposure.
On Saturday I went to my god daughter’s first birthday party, and again I am broody. I think I should text her for a bit now so I don’t get the urge to kill her parents and nick her as I am her god father after all.. lol I was roped into playing musical chairs with about 10 people, now I wasn’t trying to be competitive but when you get down to the last 4 you start to think that “I can actually win this” sop I tried a bit harder until it was just me and some other guy..Yeah I was in the final of the musical chairs Olympics, just me and him.. But sadly I had to make do with second place, and second place doesn’t get anything.. I did leave a couple minutes after that and I swear it wasn’t anything to do with shaming my whole family who had brought me up on tales of my forefathers winning musical chairs throughout of family’s rich musical chairs history. I just had to go, well it was late and I didn’t want to win the stupid game anyway, it’s for kids not adults who are trying to cling on to hope of reliving their youth by competing in kid’s games at parties..Rant over
Does anyone remember when T mobile was called Mercury 121 and why the fuck did they change the name??
Wow it’s been about 5 months since I have been writing these blogs and sending them out on facebook, a lot has happened.. they have had several updates all worse than the last one, we celebrated another of jesus’s birthdays and we all remember valentines where we was all single and cried ourselves to sleep that night because nobody loves us and life was just too much for us..Oh just me then on that one. No joking aside...and no I didn’t celebrate Jesus’s birthday, I might aswel celebrate frosty the snowman’s birthday, as he is a fictional character too. What I’m trying to say is there is still loads of you 2000+ people who read these blogs and don’t drop me any feedback, well this is your week to do it person reading this, you can reply to any of the blogs, and even if you do it every week, you should keep it up solder!! Thanking you.. this weeks blog is a bit random and I have no idea what I’m going on about because I have a headache and I’m just typing away at the keys without actually checking what I’m writing, so if it says anything good that’s talent, but if its bad, that’s the headache..So feel free to tap away and give me your opinion
Until nest week where I predict it will be sunny, have a splendid cup of tea on me and try and be good. Tatty bye bye
I don’t think it would work now though, can you imagine the arguments about how long someone took to deliver it? I have murders with one of my local pizza delivery places, I can remember 3 separate occasions since I have been at my currant house that I have ordered from them and they have said 45 minutes, I ring them after 50 minutes to be told the driver has left, then a further 10 minutes later I call back and complain..(When I say complain I mean to try and seem pissed off enough to cancel so I get some discount..We all do it don’t we??) Then I get told he is on my road, and he is outside amongst other petty lies these bastards tell to calm you down. Then when it crashes the hour and five minutes barrier and I have been told twice how busy they are and that the driver died whilst on way to my house and that they had to make another pizza which is on way to me with a newly employed driver..I ring back and tell them I DO NOT WANT THE FUCKING PIZZA, SO DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT SEND THE DRIVER TO ME OK!!! Then the same thing has happened 3 separate times. I hang up order food from somewhere else and then the pizza guy turns up like nothings happened. This is where I get really rude and tell him to fuck off. Now you are probably thinking “Dan if you have had problems twice, why did you order a third time?” and that is a good question. Well I look at it like childbirth (bit of a stretch I know), when a woman has a baby I am told it is the worst pain imaginable, but after time goes by the woman forgets all the pain she went through and in a quite a lot of cases has another child, because the brain likes to forget shit that hurts us. So I will be needing a delivery pizza for some reason (usually being hungry or the kids only want pizza and will not eat Chinese or Indian because they are inconsiderate towards there dads likes in take away heart attack in a box foods (that’s bad for you takeaways in general). And I search for one on line and very rudely pizza hut does not deliver to my area (I was going to say address, but I thought it sounded like I had wronged them in some way, but I assure you I have not. I just happen to fall out of the catchment delivery area..And that goes for Dominos too.. cunts), so I always think I should give them just one more try and maybe I was just being a bit of a idiot last time I ordered from there, they aint so bad..Well 3 times out of 3 tells me they are bad.. And give it another 6 months or so when I need a pizza I shall probably be ringing them once again.
Last week loads of you celebrated St Patricks day and I myself am actually Irish but I didn’t really celebrate it, if I am honest I don’t celebrate much these days as I am such a cynical bastard and believe all these holidays were made up by people who own card shops such as Clintons, who always seem to only stock one of any card I ever need when I go into the surrey quays branch. I think it may just be a poor shop in the mighty chain of cards for all occasion’s division of hell. After all now we all have printers and moon pig why do we bother with cards people end up throwing in the bin? I know I sound like a meanie but I have never kept a card in my life.. And for those of you who have no idea who St Patrick was, he was English and was kidnapped at 16 and taken to Ireland as a slave, he later escaped and returned to Britain and became a priest, later returning to Ireland to teach Christianity, using the Irish shamrock to explain the Trinity. (Now you didn’t think you was going to learn anything like that today did ya)
I noticed the other day on bbc3 that the comedian Eddie Izzard was on TV running 43 marathons in the space of a few weeks, running roughly 30 miles a day. Now this guy was doing it for sport relief and is not an athlete, I was shocked to say the least. He was living on ice creams and roadside cafes. Now in case you are unsure how long 43 marathons are its 1000+ miles, now I don’t often say you should feel anyone’s pain but I have to take my hat (baseball cap) off to this guy.
As some of you seem to have noticed I now am in a relationship with a very nice young lady and as some of you have asked I thought I would mention it in my blog as I have sort of been spending most of my spare time with her in the last few weeks, so rather than me saying I went out for dinner, I can just say me and Jess went for dinner lol.. I met her family last week at her birthday meal, I was a bit nervous but I just pictured them all naked and it helped me relax... no I didn’t really that would be plain wrong.. I was on my best behaviour I think. Well I wasn’t asked to leave so I think it went ok.
We did however check out a comedy show last Wednesday at the comedy cafe, and the night was great but I was right about the food, its not that funny, we tried a meze and I had some chicken kebabs on wooden sticks, but the sticks tasted nicer than the chicken which was a bit sad. But the compare was really good and most of the comedians were funny. You really should check it out.. Oh the chocolate cake was banging!!
Now I wanna ask you a couple things, firstly is it ok for a man to say the chocolate cake is to die for? Me neither. I wont say who said it (nooo not me) but it sounded really gay hearing a man say it lol. secondly and bizarrely I have seen 2 different black girls going into sun bed shops for a sun bed, its none of my business what they do with there money or time but I was a little bit confused dot com, I thought the object was for us pale folk to get darker skin.. Any chicks wanna explain to me? Coz I doubt most of you fellas know what a sunbed is.. Saying that I keep seeing more and more guys using them, and yes that includes yours truly lol.. And yes I am gay..Well I’m not but you get my drift
Last week I decided I wanted to get a new tattoo soon and was told a guy called Andy bone was very good and local, so on Sunday I went to see him and thought “fuck it” and let him draw a design on my arm, and before you know it I was in the chair going through pain all for the sake of art, I am well pleased with the result and still have a couple of hours to finish it fully, its just got to have a bit of shading and colouring in, well worth the money spent.
This week I am donning my DJ hat for the late lounge in Bromley, and the nest following Saturdays you can catch me at Pure Temptation @ Scala Kings cross and the following Saturday @ Exposure in Vauxhall.. I am selling tickets for these events, so if you would like any dropped off to you please in box me or text me on 07800 727 291 and let me know how many you need and what area you are in.. both events are sell out nights so don’t be trying all that last minute running around shit because I will be in Margate during the day for Exposure.
On Saturday I went to my god daughter’s first birthday party, and again I am broody. I think I should text her for a bit now so I don’t get the urge to kill her parents and nick her as I am her god father after all.. lol I was roped into playing musical chairs with about 10 people, now I wasn’t trying to be competitive but when you get down to the last 4 you start to think that “I can actually win this” sop I tried a bit harder until it was just me and some other guy..Yeah I was in the final of the musical chairs Olympics, just me and him.. But sadly I had to make do with second place, and second place doesn’t get anything.. I did leave a couple minutes after that and I swear it wasn’t anything to do with shaming my whole family who had brought me up on tales of my forefathers winning musical chairs throughout of family’s rich musical chairs history. I just had to go, well it was late and I didn’t want to win the stupid game anyway, it’s for kids not adults who are trying to cling on to hope of reliving their youth by competing in kid’s games at parties..Rant over
Does anyone remember when T mobile was called Mercury 121 and why the fuck did they change the name??
Wow it’s been about 5 months since I have been writing these blogs and sending them out on facebook, a lot has happened.. they have had several updates all worse than the last one, we celebrated another of jesus’s birthdays and we all remember valentines where we was all single and cried ourselves to sleep that night because nobody loves us and life was just too much for us..Oh just me then on that one. No joking aside...and no I didn’t celebrate Jesus’s birthday, I might aswel celebrate frosty the snowman’s birthday, as he is a fictional character too. What I’m trying to say is there is still loads of you 2000+ people who read these blogs and don’t drop me any feedback, well this is your week to do it person reading this, you can reply to any of the blogs, and even if you do it every week, you should keep it up solder!! Thanking you.. this weeks blog is a bit random and I have no idea what I’m going on about because I have a headache and I’m just typing away at the keys without actually checking what I’m writing, so if it says anything good that’s talent, but if its bad, that’s the headache..So feel free to tap away and give me your opinion
Until nest week where I predict it will be sunny, have a splendid cup of tea on me and try and be good. Tatty bye bye
30th march 2010
This weeks blog is brought to you in amazing 3D (where available), which is nowhere so don’t feel like your missing out on anything its just words on a computer screen or on paper if you have printed this out for someone else to read, which you are more than welcome to do, because once I have sent this blog out to the world wide web it then becomes the property of everyone.
I guess the biggest decision I have made last week has to do with this Cambridge diet, I know what people keep saying to me about it being bad, but I am so shit at sticking to a healthy diet and routine, I have been feeling like shit for just over 3 weeks now and in that time I have been eating junk including enough chocolate to build my own chocolate house in the countryside. The downside to all this is that I have put on half a stone and I feel drastic action is required, so that’s another reason I decided to jump back on board and lose weight. Once I have got to where I need to be I know I need to show a bit more will power and keep the weight off , its so easy to say but because I live on my own and I have never had anyone to tell me what to do, I just basically do my own thing.
It’s the same with my trainer collection, when I was a kid the only way I got new trainers was if my toes were poking out the old ones of the soles had fallen off, luckily for me only the toes poking out one actually happened and I think I had to wait a week for new ones. Now as an adult I usually buy any trainers I want, so have loads of spanking trainers and I rotate them so I don’t make them dirty, and it looks as if I’m wearing new ones all the time..Well quite a lot of the time.
Its like when people say they give there kids the things they never had, my kids had mobiles at quite a young age, but they weren’t really about when I was a kid unless you class someone carrying around a car battery with a phone attached to it as mobile? You had to be a weight lifter to be able to drag it about and even then everybody else was on a home or work number. So what was the point of being the only fucker people can get hold of in between trips to work and then back home?
My first mobile phone was a Sony one dubbed “credit card” it was the same size as..You guessed it... a credit card, well the front was the same size bit it was a bit thicker and had a little bit the size of a short straw that flicked out when you wanted to make a call.
I remember going into curry’s or Dixons in Bayswater and being quite shocked when I passed the credit check, at 19 I had never had anything on credit before so wasn’t exactly sure what it was all about (like who was they going to ask if I was good for a bit of credit? My mum?? Lol) I walked out that shop like James bond with my tiny mobile phone, I can remember ringing people when I was on the bus and getting dirty looks like I was doing something wrong. After all mobiles were still pretty new to poor people. And yes I am saying I was poor too, I just had good credit with some idiot out there.
The phone didn’t even have a screen or a memory, I had to manually tap in any numbers I wanted to dial, and it taught me to memorise numbers. I can still remember the phone number to the phone box outside my aunt’s house in new cross (picture us ringing the phone box and asking whoever answered to knock on number 5 across the road..Haha.. Now that’s shocking to think we had to do that. It wouldn’t happen in this day and age). I had the phone just over a month because when the bill came in for over £700 I knew there and then that my bad credit history was about to start because I could not afford and even if I could, was not ever going to pay that sort of money for anything other than a life saving operation, and even that I would of had to borrow or steal the money. What I had not really taken into consideration was the fact that calls were 75p per minute and I wasn’t really used to having a phone so just cracked on chatting to people like I had free calls..
Another company I had the fortune to come across when I was a kid was Britannia music; they are the people responsible for the Brit awards (which I only watched yesterday, even though it was over a month ago. I thought peter Kay was a bit shit, he seemed to be doing the whole hosting thing looking uncomfortable and he was having some private jokes which seemed odd, but hey he’s famous and I’m not so what the fuck do I know). Basically Britannia music used to, well I say used to they probably still do sell music, but back in the day they had some club thing where they would advertise on the back on the Sunday magazines. They would show a selection of records and tapes (yes tapes it was that fucking long ago.. ) and u could pick 4 or 5 albums for £10 or something stupid like that, you would have to join the club though and agree to buy one or two albums a month from them. But here is the really stupid bit.. they would send you the albums before you sent any money, now I had loads off them over the years by just changing my name and picking different albums every time, never actually sending any money. I used to think and still do think they were idiots for sending me stuff and never getting paid for it. My taking the piss out of Britannia music didn’t end there nooo, because just around the corner from my mums house was the sorting office.
Now as kids me and my cousins all had BMX bikes, we would go on mad adventures from Lewisham to Stockwell as we all lived in different areas so knew our way about. So one day we went up the ramp inside the sorting office compound and we found where the drivers used to pick up there loads, and guess what was in the little green trolley filled with other peoples parcels, yes you guessed it.. Albums courtesy of Britannia music, I immediately recognized the packaging and nicked them all; this was the time when artists like Terence Trent Darby and Luther Vandross were selling loads of albums and if you had known me at the time I could have sold you a copy cheap as I had loads of copies of them. It did help me expand my record collection and my tastes in music, as I now had Bros, Pet shop boys, Rod Stuart and even Chris Rea, whom I ever remember as having one good tune called “Road to hell” but it was all free thanks to the idiots at Britannia music (I feel I should say this weeks blog is sponsored by them for some reason, but I wont, as they are idiots)
As a kid I guess it’s safe to say I was a thieving little cunt.
Anyways back to 2010 and Friday I was back behind the decks after what seems like ages, I did a 4 hour set in Boho’s in Dulwich and got to play a bit of everything which is my favourite kind of set as I can mix them all up together, and the set up and the people in there are quite nice, so was an absolute pleasure, they have asked me to let them know when I’m free to do another night, so will have to let you lot know as I know there as loads of you that have never heard me dj..Tut tut
Saturday I was DJ’ing for Louisa & Barry’s engagement party @ the Late Lounge, now I don’t want to embarrass anyone so I won’t say her name, but she did make me laugh. A lovely young lady (I know she’s reading this weeks blog, as she said she reads them weekly, well so she says), she came up to me and went “oh I know you, your Danny Blaze from facebook” and then went on to tell me I am a bit of a “face” on facebook which I found hilarious and a tiny bit embarrassing, but it was a nice sort of weird compliment, but also untrue. She did say the whole honesty thing was nice, and that’s exactly what I’m going for with these blogs, that’s why tour feedback is important, I have a friend called Terry who said he can’t read them because I shouldn’t really be saying loads of the stuff I do, but that’s just me, I can’t do anyone else.
The thing I dislike about doing parties is having to cater for so many different age groups, it really doesn’t matter what you play there is always someone who thinks the music’s shit, and they always love to tell me how much they think I should play a particular song or genre of music such as (RnB or in the case of Saturday I was told I should play Drum N Bass.. hum) its funny how many experts go to parties, and it always happens to poor little me..Well maybe not little.
Right I’m going to get back into bed because I am having a sponsored stay in bed all day and do fuck all to raise money for kids who don’t want to go to school, no I’m not really, I am just having a lazy day. This Saturday I am playing for Pure Temptation at kings cross scala and can drop tickets off any day this week if your one of the few people who doesn’t have a ticket yet, also these tickets for next weeks party EXPOSURE are going fast so in box me or text/ring me for yours, please don’t leave it to the day as you might not get one. Willy wonka style lol
In the words of Jerry Springer “until next time take care of yourself and each other” what’s he been doing? Haven’t seen him for ages.. Lol oh well
I guess the biggest decision I have made last week has to do with this Cambridge diet, I know what people keep saying to me about it being bad, but I am so shit at sticking to a healthy diet and routine, I have been feeling like shit for just over 3 weeks now and in that time I have been eating junk including enough chocolate to build my own chocolate house in the countryside. The downside to all this is that I have put on half a stone and I feel drastic action is required, so that’s another reason I decided to jump back on board and lose weight. Once I have got to where I need to be I know I need to show a bit more will power and keep the weight off , its so easy to say but because I live on my own and I have never had anyone to tell me what to do, I just basically do my own thing.
It’s the same with my trainer collection, when I was a kid the only way I got new trainers was if my toes were poking out the old ones of the soles had fallen off, luckily for me only the toes poking out one actually happened and I think I had to wait a week for new ones. Now as an adult I usually buy any trainers I want, so have loads of spanking trainers and I rotate them so I don’t make them dirty, and it looks as if I’m wearing new ones all the time..Well quite a lot of the time.
Its like when people say they give there kids the things they never had, my kids had mobiles at quite a young age, but they weren’t really about when I was a kid unless you class someone carrying around a car battery with a phone attached to it as mobile? You had to be a weight lifter to be able to drag it about and even then everybody else was on a home or work number. So what was the point of being the only fucker people can get hold of in between trips to work and then back home?
My first mobile phone was a Sony one dubbed “credit card” it was the same size as..You guessed it... a credit card, well the front was the same size bit it was a bit thicker and had a little bit the size of a short straw that flicked out when you wanted to make a call.
I remember going into curry’s or Dixons in Bayswater and being quite shocked when I passed the credit check, at 19 I had never had anything on credit before so wasn’t exactly sure what it was all about (like who was they going to ask if I was good for a bit of credit? My mum?? Lol) I walked out that shop like James bond with my tiny mobile phone, I can remember ringing people when I was on the bus and getting dirty looks like I was doing something wrong. After all mobiles were still pretty new to poor people. And yes I am saying I was poor too, I just had good credit with some idiot out there.
The phone didn’t even have a screen or a memory, I had to manually tap in any numbers I wanted to dial, and it taught me to memorise numbers. I can still remember the phone number to the phone box outside my aunt’s house in new cross (picture us ringing the phone box and asking whoever answered to knock on number 5 across the road..Haha.. Now that’s shocking to think we had to do that. It wouldn’t happen in this day and age). I had the phone just over a month because when the bill came in for over £700 I knew there and then that my bad credit history was about to start because I could not afford and even if I could, was not ever going to pay that sort of money for anything other than a life saving operation, and even that I would of had to borrow or steal the money. What I had not really taken into consideration was the fact that calls were 75p per minute and I wasn’t really used to having a phone so just cracked on chatting to people like I had free calls..
Another company I had the fortune to come across when I was a kid was Britannia music; they are the people responsible for the Brit awards (which I only watched yesterday, even though it was over a month ago. I thought peter Kay was a bit shit, he seemed to be doing the whole hosting thing looking uncomfortable and he was having some private jokes which seemed odd, but hey he’s famous and I’m not so what the fuck do I know). Basically Britannia music used to, well I say used to they probably still do sell music, but back in the day they had some club thing where they would advertise on the back on the Sunday magazines. They would show a selection of records and tapes (yes tapes it was that fucking long ago.. ) and u could pick 4 or 5 albums for £10 or something stupid like that, you would have to join the club though and agree to buy one or two albums a month from them. But here is the really stupid bit.. they would send you the albums before you sent any money, now I had loads off them over the years by just changing my name and picking different albums every time, never actually sending any money. I used to think and still do think they were idiots for sending me stuff and never getting paid for it. My taking the piss out of Britannia music didn’t end there nooo, because just around the corner from my mums house was the sorting office.
Now as kids me and my cousins all had BMX bikes, we would go on mad adventures from Lewisham to Stockwell as we all lived in different areas so knew our way about. So one day we went up the ramp inside the sorting office compound and we found where the drivers used to pick up there loads, and guess what was in the little green trolley filled with other peoples parcels, yes you guessed it.. Albums courtesy of Britannia music, I immediately recognized the packaging and nicked them all; this was the time when artists like Terence Trent Darby and Luther Vandross were selling loads of albums and if you had known me at the time I could have sold you a copy cheap as I had loads of copies of them. It did help me expand my record collection and my tastes in music, as I now had Bros, Pet shop boys, Rod Stuart and even Chris Rea, whom I ever remember as having one good tune called “Road to hell” but it was all free thanks to the idiots at Britannia music (I feel I should say this weeks blog is sponsored by them for some reason, but I wont, as they are idiots)
As a kid I guess it’s safe to say I was a thieving little cunt.
Anyways back to 2010 and Friday I was back behind the decks after what seems like ages, I did a 4 hour set in Boho’s in Dulwich and got to play a bit of everything which is my favourite kind of set as I can mix them all up together, and the set up and the people in there are quite nice, so was an absolute pleasure, they have asked me to let them know when I’m free to do another night, so will have to let you lot know as I know there as loads of you that have never heard me dj..Tut tut
Saturday I was DJ’ing for Louisa & Barry’s engagement party @ the Late Lounge, now I don’t want to embarrass anyone so I won’t say her name, but she did make me laugh. A lovely young lady (I know she’s reading this weeks blog, as she said she reads them weekly, well so she says), she came up to me and went “oh I know you, your Danny Blaze from facebook” and then went on to tell me I am a bit of a “face” on facebook which I found hilarious and a tiny bit embarrassing, but it was a nice sort of weird compliment, but also untrue. She did say the whole honesty thing was nice, and that’s exactly what I’m going for with these blogs, that’s why tour feedback is important, I have a friend called Terry who said he can’t read them because I shouldn’t really be saying loads of the stuff I do, but that’s just me, I can’t do anyone else.
The thing I dislike about doing parties is having to cater for so many different age groups, it really doesn’t matter what you play there is always someone who thinks the music’s shit, and they always love to tell me how much they think I should play a particular song or genre of music such as (RnB or in the case of Saturday I was told I should play Drum N Bass.. hum) its funny how many experts go to parties, and it always happens to poor little me..Well maybe not little.
Right I’m going to get back into bed because I am having a sponsored stay in bed all day and do fuck all to raise money for kids who don’t want to go to school, no I’m not really, I am just having a lazy day. This Saturday I am playing for Pure Temptation at kings cross scala and can drop tickets off any day this week if your one of the few people who doesn’t have a ticket yet, also these tickets for next weeks party EXPOSURE are going fast so in box me or text/ring me for yours, please don’t leave it to the day as you might not get one. Willy wonka style lol
In the words of Jerry Springer “until next time take care of yourself and each other” what’s he been doing? Haven’t seen him for ages.. Lol oh well
5th april 2010
Dear diary its been 7 days since my last confession, and to be honest I wasn’t feeling jesus’s love at any point during this week so I am handing in my “what would Jesus do wristband” and beads, which must of cost a whole 9p to produce, and I doubt god actually would of picked such a material to use as a symbol of his so called “Greatness”, I happen to know God loves gold.. Religious rant over, I hope you enjoyed your chocolate eggs that have absolutely nothing to do with god, Jesus or anything other than it sounds good, so say it out to yourself “Easter egg” it has a ring to it lol
As I sent out last weeks blog I thought of a situation I managed to get myself in many years ago at a well known company who use a certain Geordie to promote there good and services I shall say. I was doing security receptionist work for these guys and started work at 7am until 7pm Monday to Friday which was ok seeing as I was only 19; yeah well it was ok until they made me change to nights having to do 7pm until 7am.
Now me being pissed off but having no choice I just shut my mouth and done the job, well I did until I realized I was super bored looking after a whole big scary building on my own full of the companies rather superior and now free products, as a point of boredom I used to rifle through peoples desks (I know it was a liberty, but hey its done now so hey ho!) and use the phone to ring anyone I could to kill the hours of boredom.
On the top floor they had a pay phone because they was renting out the top floor to a school from overseas so didn’t really have any free phones to rinse out, and during my being nosey through the offices one night I come across the key to the phone box... dilemma time.. Well I thought fuck it, take the pound coins and the 50p’s and no one will know yeah pretty easy pickings and yes a criminal offence.
As I opened the phone box with the strange round hollow key and took my Christmas bonus early, I accidently broke the fucking thing off in the lock. Now this it’s not the end of the problem right there because I then got a page from my mobile supervisor (yes a pager, who remembers those useless things? Having to ring up the operator and tell them a message for them to send you what is really a text!). So with the supervisor at the door and the key broke off in the lock on the phone I am starting to think that crime does not pay and Karma is trying to punish me for being a petty criminal.
In any emergency I have to say that I am very good, I perform better under pressure as some people have the X Factor, I have the “sort it out” factor or just I am a born criminal, just not a very ambitious one.
So thinking of the consequences of being sacked and maybe arrested as I could not in a million years explain away the phone box being robbed and the key being snapped off in the lock and only yours truly was in the building which happens to be surrounded by CCTV cameras, so if some sort of cat burglar did break in I think he or she would find something better to nick other than about £50 in shrapnel. Baring this all in mind I thought about a plan, which is simple terms went like this... first things first, ignore the requests of entry from the supervisor by ignoring the fucking pager and if asked later I can say the batteries had died, next step head down to the ground floor for tools and raid the human resources room and hope to Allah, Buddha, Jesus and even little green men that there is some sort of spare key for the now £50 lighter phone box situated on the fourth floor of the building (now just quickly did I mention every floor has a card entry system so when u go on to any floor it is logged on a computer showing exactly who and what time they was there, if asked it might look strange me going back and forth. So I learned to by pass these systems by using a plastic card to swipe through the actual lock. In short pushing the spring loaded part of the lock back into itself and releasing the door. Easy when you know how lol)
Once inside the human resources office I finally found a spare key and a pair of pliers, so back to floor 4 to stop the crime of the century from coming to light, and I can say thankfully managed to get the key out, lock the phone box up and put the stolen key in where I got the original key from.
Now although it was a stupid thing to do in the first place it taught me a lesson, I have no idea what that was but consider me taught lol.
This week I have been to the cinema twice and they couldn’t have been any further apart on the worth watching scale, first off I see Kick Ass which was fucking brilliant, the star of the whole film has to go to little 11 year old HIT GIRL who calls people “cunts” and kills like a serial killer whilst dressed as a paedophiles girlfriend, but all that said she is my new hero!! Go see this movie.
Sunday I traipsed all the way to Sheppard’s bush to see brit movie SHANK staring Bashy, now I love watching a British film and bigging it up, but this was a complete waste of my time here on earth, it looks as if it was filmed for about a grand and all on location on the heygate estate in elephant and castle. The basic plot is that everyone’s hungry and fighting for food but they refer to food as munchies and chat bare breeze. I’m sure it will be on channel 4 by the end of the month, save your money on this stinker.
Also this week I finally gave in and joined Twitter, now I don’t know what I’m expecting to come out of it but I really am that bored of facebook that I am willing to crack on with it and see what happens, I am starting to feel ignored on facebook, well that or people are dropping like flies, anyone got the answer for me?? My twitter thingy is @mrdannyblaze I am shamelessly begging friends on there so come follow the hype, I will be updating my thing about 30 times a day like a shameless cunt that I am.
Saturday I played at I bar in a far away land that I can’t be bothered to spell, so IL just say that. I was on with Nikkie S & Nyke for the first time in ages, its such a nice gaff, the set went ok, I don’t think I needed the mcs (sorry boys lol) they are on the kiss fm sort of music in there and last time I played I done better, it didn’t help that on the way I had a flat tyre, but thankfully I had 2 mates who know about that shit more than me, so I was sweet.. then we jumped in the blazemobile aka my African cab and breezed out to Pure temptation @ Scala which was very nice indeed, loads of friendly faces, and I decided there and then that I was going to do better than last months madness, so I come on with my hype dub plate alongside mc’s Sharky P and CKP, from tune one it was fucking sick, I felt I played a few tunes a bit long but I had a mental block and it just happens now n then, mixing was probably at 86% coz the monitor wasn’t load enough, because the sound engineer kept turning me down (yes I am deaf).
Also this week I spent a few days in Margate catching up with friends, I took a few pics of the old club I used to run up there which is now a kid’s play activity centre, and the town is really suffering finically, but fuck it I’m from London lol. I will e back up this weekend to play at Get Frisky, so come say hello if you can, then I will be on my way to Exposure @ coliseum in Vauxhall for a night to remember for sure, will be dropping off tickets all week, so come join in the party this Saturday.
Right I’m gonna cut short this weeks blog as its taken me all day to write n I’m tired, I did shit loads this week and I’m going to try keep ultra busy this week. I will be doing a new mix cd to promote mc Versatiles birthday and giving away 5000 copies, so try get your hands on one ASAP!!!
Please remember your feedback, I will be putting this weeks blog up on a blogging site from tomorrow as facebook is being long, with people not always getting it etc.
So until then be good and if you made it this far into my blog well done go eat a chocolate egg lol
Dan x
As I sent out last weeks blog I thought of a situation I managed to get myself in many years ago at a well known company who use a certain Geordie to promote there good and services I shall say. I was doing security receptionist work for these guys and started work at 7am until 7pm Monday to Friday which was ok seeing as I was only 19; yeah well it was ok until they made me change to nights having to do 7pm until 7am.
Now me being pissed off but having no choice I just shut my mouth and done the job, well I did until I realized I was super bored looking after a whole big scary building on my own full of the companies rather superior and now free products, as a point of boredom I used to rifle through peoples desks (I know it was a liberty, but hey its done now so hey ho!) and use the phone to ring anyone I could to kill the hours of boredom.
On the top floor they had a pay phone because they was renting out the top floor to a school from overseas so didn’t really have any free phones to rinse out, and during my being nosey through the offices one night I come across the key to the phone box... dilemma time.. Well I thought fuck it, take the pound coins and the 50p’s and no one will know yeah pretty easy pickings and yes a criminal offence.
As I opened the phone box with the strange round hollow key and took my Christmas bonus early, I accidently broke the fucking thing off in the lock. Now this it’s not the end of the problem right there because I then got a page from my mobile supervisor (yes a pager, who remembers those useless things? Having to ring up the operator and tell them a message for them to send you what is really a text!). So with the supervisor at the door and the key broke off in the lock on the phone I am starting to think that crime does not pay and Karma is trying to punish me for being a petty criminal.
In any emergency I have to say that I am very good, I perform better under pressure as some people have the X Factor, I have the “sort it out” factor or just I am a born criminal, just not a very ambitious one.
So thinking of the consequences of being sacked and maybe arrested as I could not in a million years explain away the phone box being robbed and the key being snapped off in the lock and only yours truly was in the building which happens to be surrounded by CCTV cameras, so if some sort of cat burglar did break in I think he or she would find something better to nick other than about £50 in shrapnel. Baring this all in mind I thought about a plan, which is simple terms went like this... first things first, ignore the requests of entry from the supervisor by ignoring the fucking pager and if asked later I can say the batteries had died, next step head down to the ground floor for tools and raid the human resources room and hope to Allah, Buddha, Jesus and even little green men that there is some sort of spare key for the now £50 lighter phone box situated on the fourth floor of the building (now just quickly did I mention every floor has a card entry system so when u go on to any floor it is logged on a computer showing exactly who and what time they was there, if asked it might look strange me going back and forth. So I learned to by pass these systems by using a plastic card to swipe through the actual lock. In short pushing the spring loaded part of the lock back into itself and releasing the door. Easy when you know how lol)
Once inside the human resources office I finally found a spare key and a pair of pliers, so back to floor 4 to stop the crime of the century from coming to light, and I can say thankfully managed to get the key out, lock the phone box up and put the stolen key in where I got the original key from.
Now although it was a stupid thing to do in the first place it taught me a lesson, I have no idea what that was but consider me taught lol.
This week I have been to the cinema twice and they couldn’t have been any further apart on the worth watching scale, first off I see Kick Ass which was fucking brilliant, the star of the whole film has to go to little 11 year old HIT GIRL who calls people “cunts” and kills like a serial killer whilst dressed as a paedophiles girlfriend, but all that said she is my new hero!! Go see this movie.
Sunday I traipsed all the way to Sheppard’s bush to see brit movie SHANK staring Bashy, now I love watching a British film and bigging it up, but this was a complete waste of my time here on earth, it looks as if it was filmed for about a grand and all on location on the heygate estate in elephant and castle. The basic plot is that everyone’s hungry and fighting for food but they refer to food as munchies and chat bare breeze. I’m sure it will be on channel 4 by the end of the month, save your money on this stinker.
Also this week I finally gave in and joined Twitter, now I don’t know what I’m expecting to come out of it but I really am that bored of facebook that I am willing to crack on with it and see what happens, I am starting to feel ignored on facebook, well that or people are dropping like flies, anyone got the answer for me?? My twitter thingy is @mrdannyblaze I am shamelessly begging friends on there so come follow the hype, I will be updating my thing about 30 times a day like a shameless cunt that I am.
Saturday I played at I bar in a far away land that I can’t be bothered to spell, so IL just say that. I was on with Nikkie S & Nyke for the first time in ages, its such a nice gaff, the set went ok, I don’t think I needed the mcs (sorry boys lol) they are on the kiss fm sort of music in there and last time I played I done better, it didn’t help that on the way I had a flat tyre, but thankfully I had 2 mates who know about that shit more than me, so I was sweet.. then we jumped in the blazemobile aka my African cab and breezed out to Pure temptation @ Scala which was very nice indeed, loads of friendly faces, and I decided there and then that I was going to do better than last months madness, so I come on with my hype dub plate alongside mc’s Sharky P and CKP, from tune one it was fucking sick, I felt I played a few tunes a bit long but I had a mental block and it just happens now n then, mixing was probably at 86% coz the monitor wasn’t load enough, because the sound engineer kept turning me down (yes I am deaf).
Also this week I spent a few days in Margate catching up with friends, I took a few pics of the old club I used to run up there which is now a kid’s play activity centre, and the town is really suffering finically, but fuck it I’m from London lol. I will e back up this weekend to play at Get Frisky, so come say hello if you can, then I will be on my way to Exposure @ coliseum in Vauxhall for a night to remember for sure, will be dropping off tickets all week, so come join in the party this Saturday.
Right I’m gonna cut short this weeks blog as its taken me all day to write n I’m tired, I did shit loads this week and I’m going to try keep ultra busy this week. I will be doing a new mix cd to promote mc Versatiles birthday and giving away 5000 copies, so try get your hands on one ASAP!!!
Please remember your feedback, I will be putting this weeks blog up on a blogging site from tomorrow as facebook is being long, with people not always getting it etc.
So until then be good and if you made it this far into my blog well done go eat a chocolate egg lol
Dan x
12th april 2010
When I started writing these blogs back in October last year I wasn’t really sure what I was doing or what I was hoping to achieve, and as time has gone on I still don’t know what my end game is, but I do know that when somebody comes up to me when I’m out and says they enjoy reading them it encourages me to carry on writing them and makes the whole “baring my soul” worth it. I have friends to say that I give too much of my private life away to these blogs but at the end of the day I like to get stuff off my chest and it really does help. If there is something I feel is too personal I just don’t mention it, so with all that out the way now and some major hinting about feedback on my part, sit down arms folded and fingers on lips and I shall begin.
Last week was absolute chaos but quite controlled as I was out dropping of tickets for exposure at coliseum (more about that later), I don’t know how or why some people leave it until the last minute to buy tickets for a night out, after all what would they do it the night did sell out and they couldn’t go? I did manage to go to the right place and phone the wrong person to meet me, they rang back and said they was at falcon road in Clapham junction when I was sitting waiting by Flaxman road which is a few miles away, it wasn’t until I got near to junction that I realized that I had got the numbers mixed up and had to go back to Flaxman road after dropping the junction tickets off, yes a bit of a div by all accounts on that particular day.
on Friday I went out over west end during the day and sank a few rose wines, and ended up going to see one of my favourite comedians from back in the day, Mr Ricky Grover. He is a very funny working class comedian and if you get the chance to see him I highly recommend you get on the case selector!! After a few more wines the party ended up in Yates in Lester square which was only £5 to get in and a bottle of wine was less than £8 which is a result in my book seeing as its £19 a bottle in the comedy store. After around 6 bottles of the worlds finest and worst rose wine I decided to call it a night and grab a taxi, so just behind Yates is a cab station. When I asked about a quote home which is about 4 maybe 5 miles at a push I was quoted £30, as which I asked if the driver was going to perform oral sex on me once at my destination. On finding out that the £30 quoted was only for driving me I politely told them to fuck off the robbing cunts, and jumped in a black cab which was about £16 from what I can remember, but I did tell him to keep the chance (yes I know your thinking “what a fucking gent”, well if the cap fits lol)
as most of you know I am trying out this stand up comedy thing and I will get there when the time is right, I am in no rush because I believe you have to do your time before you should expect anything to come of it, its just common sense that tells me that, its like some guy buying decks and a few tunes and declaring that he is a dj and wants to be booked for the main room in the ministry of sound which is a bad attitude to have seeing as the time and preparation put in is not enough to warrant the so called prize. Now with comedy there is an observation that most comedians are middle class or the ones I seem to see are, people like Michael Macintyre are well educated guys who dumb themselves down to talk to the “common people”, if Michael Macintyre came to your house to fix your washing machine you would feel something was amiss. But comics like Mickey Flannigan and Ricky Grover to name two are working class comics who blow the middle class guys out of the water but don’t seem to get as much love from the industry. In short I am hoping that I can find my place in comedy by being as good as Mickey and Ricky (wow now they sound like some gay couple lol) but gaining the success of respected stand ups such as Michael Macintyre and Frankie Boyle.
My son has decided that he wants to go in the army and is nearly at the age where he can join up, now for some parents the thought of their only son going into the army scares the hell out of them, but after 5 years at cadets I can see why he would want to be apart of something that teaches our kids to stick together, because when he was a lot younger he was a bit naughty and I was a bit worried I might be going to visit the little fucker in jail one day which is not a good thought for any parent to have. After the shoplifting incident where a bottle of jack Daniels was nicked which he still swears was his friend, but he was also banned from Bromley shopping centre, so I guess they believed he was some part of.
I think the sort of responsibility places like cadets offer encourages kids to behave and see that they can do something fun and independent of their families which at an age where all kids want to do is not be in the house unless it involves facebook and MSN. When I was about 14 me and my cousin Jamie joined the Lambeth scouts and for some unknown reason we were given our own group which was the Owls, now I didn’t think owls were cool or even much use in the grand scheme of things but I was the leader of the owls and set about trying to be a good leader.
Now being the leader I got a badge which I wore with pride, now my mum not being much cop with a sewing needle I had to use that wonder web stuff to iron on the badges I got from the scouts, which was a bit shit, but looking back I should of just done it myself instead of relying on anyone else to do it, after all I managed to sew some bloody thing at primary school which was basically a red bit of woven material with loads of holes in it, then I had somehow managed to sew the word DANNY into it, 10 out of 10 for that my son but couldn’t managed to sew on badges that were the size of 20p pieces.
I remember going away to scout camp and sharing a 12 man tent with my cousin who used to wet every bloody bed the fucker slept in, I think we was the poor kids to be honest, we had our own group, our own tent and done our own thing. We did make friends with the other kids. One day it was suggested by the scout leader that me and Jamie should build a Bivouac (now for those of you that have no idea what that is, let me explain. Whilst firming it in the great or not so great out doors, you cant avoid bringing a tent with you in favour of building your very own shelter from twigs, branches and string, and if you are feeling like action man you can cover it in grass of something to help protect it from the British weather). So me and Jamie constructed this shelter from all manor of branches and general stuff you can find in the forest, which is mainly branches to be honest. We even made a door for it, yes we were finally on the property ladder with our own house in some field up against a tree. Now remembering Jamie wets every bed he sleeps in, I ordered him as his older cousin not to piss the sleeping bag in our new outdoor flat. He swore he wouldn’t.
So cue two o’clock in the morning on our first night in out new yard...Jamie wakes up shouting that he needs to go to the toilet, now seeing as our new house was new Jamie couldn’t find the door we had made because it all looked the same, so rather than piss the sleeping bag he ran through the wall of the shelter and made a great big fucking hole in the side, like the hulk running through a bit of plasterboard. So for the rest of the night we froze, but it was that of be warm covered in piss and I had had enough of waking up with warm feet as me and Jamie had to top n tail in his single bed as kids, I swear that’s what made my feet smell as a kid. And don’t worrie they don’t smell now.
Next week I am launching a brand new weekly Thursday night of old skool garage at one of our bars, it will run from 8pm until 12am and will be me playing all your vocal garage bits in a nice relaxed atmosphere with no mc’s to kill the vibe, just cheap drinks and free entry. So please try and come down and support the cause, I will be getting a few mates to jump on and do sets for me. It’s not a rave it’s just a little mid week night out that won’t cost the earth and hopefully a regular meet up. If you want any details please just ask me, the bar is called BoHos its it lordship land in Dulwich by the Somerfield, plenty of busses and cabs to get to and from the bar, so come see us soon.
Last week I finally joined twitter, and have only got 65 followers, so I am shamelessly begging followers, so if you add me I will add you too pretty please, its very embarrassing being a blazey no mates on there, lol
Right that’s it from me this week, summers looking not so far away now so hopefully everyone’s moods will be better and more positive, as we all love a bit of sunshine on our faces.. So until next week be safe and feel free to drop some blog feedback good or bad.
Last week was absolute chaos but quite controlled as I was out dropping of tickets for exposure at coliseum (more about that later), I don’t know how or why some people leave it until the last minute to buy tickets for a night out, after all what would they do it the night did sell out and they couldn’t go? I did manage to go to the right place and phone the wrong person to meet me, they rang back and said they was at falcon road in Clapham junction when I was sitting waiting by Flaxman road which is a few miles away, it wasn’t until I got near to junction that I realized that I had got the numbers mixed up and had to go back to Flaxman road after dropping the junction tickets off, yes a bit of a div by all accounts on that particular day.
on Friday I went out over west end during the day and sank a few rose wines, and ended up going to see one of my favourite comedians from back in the day, Mr Ricky Grover. He is a very funny working class comedian and if you get the chance to see him I highly recommend you get on the case selector!! After a few more wines the party ended up in Yates in Lester square which was only £5 to get in and a bottle of wine was less than £8 which is a result in my book seeing as its £19 a bottle in the comedy store. After around 6 bottles of the worlds finest and worst rose wine I decided to call it a night and grab a taxi, so just behind Yates is a cab station. When I asked about a quote home which is about 4 maybe 5 miles at a push I was quoted £30, as which I asked if the driver was going to perform oral sex on me once at my destination. On finding out that the £30 quoted was only for driving me I politely told them to fuck off the robbing cunts, and jumped in a black cab which was about £16 from what I can remember, but I did tell him to keep the chance (yes I know your thinking “what a fucking gent”, well if the cap fits lol)
as most of you know I am trying out this stand up comedy thing and I will get there when the time is right, I am in no rush because I believe you have to do your time before you should expect anything to come of it, its just common sense that tells me that, its like some guy buying decks and a few tunes and declaring that he is a dj and wants to be booked for the main room in the ministry of sound which is a bad attitude to have seeing as the time and preparation put in is not enough to warrant the so called prize. Now with comedy there is an observation that most comedians are middle class or the ones I seem to see are, people like Michael Macintyre are well educated guys who dumb themselves down to talk to the “common people”, if Michael Macintyre came to your house to fix your washing machine you would feel something was amiss. But comics like Mickey Flannigan and Ricky Grover to name two are working class comics who blow the middle class guys out of the water but don’t seem to get as much love from the industry. In short I am hoping that I can find my place in comedy by being as good as Mickey and Ricky (wow now they sound like some gay couple lol) but gaining the success of respected stand ups such as Michael Macintyre and Frankie Boyle.
My son has decided that he wants to go in the army and is nearly at the age where he can join up, now for some parents the thought of their only son going into the army scares the hell out of them, but after 5 years at cadets I can see why he would want to be apart of something that teaches our kids to stick together, because when he was a lot younger he was a bit naughty and I was a bit worried I might be going to visit the little fucker in jail one day which is not a good thought for any parent to have. After the shoplifting incident where a bottle of jack Daniels was nicked which he still swears was his friend, but he was also banned from Bromley shopping centre, so I guess they believed he was some part of.
I think the sort of responsibility places like cadets offer encourages kids to behave and see that they can do something fun and independent of their families which at an age where all kids want to do is not be in the house unless it involves facebook and MSN. When I was about 14 me and my cousin Jamie joined the Lambeth scouts and for some unknown reason we were given our own group which was the Owls, now I didn’t think owls were cool or even much use in the grand scheme of things but I was the leader of the owls and set about trying to be a good leader.
Now being the leader I got a badge which I wore with pride, now my mum not being much cop with a sewing needle I had to use that wonder web stuff to iron on the badges I got from the scouts, which was a bit shit, but looking back I should of just done it myself instead of relying on anyone else to do it, after all I managed to sew some bloody thing at primary school which was basically a red bit of woven material with loads of holes in it, then I had somehow managed to sew the word DANNY into it, 10 out of 10 for that my son but couldn’t managed to sew on badges that were the size of 20p pieces.
I remember going away to scout camp and sharing a 12 man tent with my cousin who used to wet every bloody bed the fucker slept in, I think we was the poor kids to be honest, we had our own group, our own tent and done our own thing. We did make friends with the other kids. One day it was suggested by the scout leader that me and Jamie should build a Bivouac (now for those of you that have no idea what that is, let me explain. Whilst firming it in the great or not so great out doors, you cant avoid bringing a tent with you in favour of building your very own shelter from twigs, branches and string, and if you are feeling like action man you can cover it in grass of something to help protect it from the British weather). So me and Jamie constructed this shelter from all manor of branches and general stuff you can find in the forest, which is mainly branches to be honest. We even made a door for it, yes we were finally on the property ladder with our own house in some field up against a tree. Now remembering Jamie wets every bed he sleeps in, I ordered him as his older cousin not to piss the sleeping bag in our new outdoor flat. He swore he wouldn’t.
So cue two o’clock in the morning on our first night in out new yard...Jamie wakes up shouting that he needs to go to the toilet, now seeing as our new house was new Jamie couldn’t find the door we had made because it all looked the same, so rather than piss the sleeping bag he ran through the wall of the shelter and made a great big fucking hole in the side, like the hulk running through a bit of plasterboard. So for the rest of the night we froze, but it was that of be warm covered in piss and I had had enough of waking up with warm feet as me and Jamie had to top n tail in his single bed as kids, I swear that’s what made my feet smell as a kid. And don’t worrie they don’t smell now.
Next week I am launching a brand new weekly Thursday night of old skool garage at one of our bars, it will run from 8pm until 12am and will be me playing all your vocal garage bits in a nice relaxed atmosphere with no mc’s to kill the vibe, just cheap drinks and free entry. So please try and come down and support the cause, I will be getting a few mates to jump on and do sets for me. It’s not a rave it’s just a little mid week night out that won’t cost the earth and hopefully a regular meet up. If you want any details please just ask me, the bar is called BoHos its it lordship land in Dulwich by the Somerfield, plenty of busses and cabs to get to and from the bar, so come see us soon.
Last week I finally joined twitter, and have only got 65 followers, so I am shamelessly begging followers, so if you add me I will add you too pretty please, its very embarrassing being a blazey no mates on there, lol
Right that’s it from me this week, summers looking not so far away now so hopefully everyone’s moods will be better and more positive, as we all love a bit of sunshine on our faces.. So until next week be safe and feel free to drop some blog feedback good or bad.
20th april 2010
So volcanic ash is stopping millions (yeah I just sort of said millions, I don’t actually have or intend to check my facts on this bit) of people from travelling by air and going on holidays, I am convinced that this is god’s way of pleasing me because I am not the sod due to fly anywhere nice and hot for a well deserved break, so if you was one of the poor souls due to fly and now your stuck at home reading my blog, please note that I am shedding the tiniest of tears for you, your plight which has struck me in the deep sub conscious of my brain and through to my heart which is hurting for you.. and if you believe that load of rubbish your more stupid than everyone thinks you look, I honestly couldn’t care less, all I know is that when I’m ready for a break it better be sorted of me and Jesus will be having words. And the first word we will be exchanging is the ubber offensive word cunt; because I would be very upset to say the least if I couldn’t get away on holiday after booking the bloody thing and all the stuff I have to arrange like cover at work. Yes I wouldn’t be a happy camper at all!!
So with all the swearing and pointless banter out of the way shall we move on to the nitty gritty of this weeks blog by Daniel Blaze aged 34 and a half, yes too old to be on facebook but too young to be going on SAGA holidays, and after all age is nothing but a number, but when that number starts to get higher than you remember your parents being when you was a kid, you come to realize that yes you are getting old and you are fighting age at every corner, with the aid of sun beds, under eye roll on’s and trendy clothes that keep that youthful appearance strong, but I don’t act my age at any time of the day or night, I can only do me. And I will continue to act as if I’m 21 until the day the baby Jesus comes down to our sin filled earth and says “come in number 9 your time is up”, at that point I will gracefully tell our lord and savour to fuck off and live another 100 years annoying anyone who will listen with my stories of when I was a thieving little cunt who lived in Peckham and the time I sent my little cousin Jamie over the shop with monopoly money and he came back with sweets because the man in the sweet shop must of felt sorry for a 6/7 year old or the other time we nicked 10p out of his mums boyfriends penny jar and I sent Jamie over the shop, he got run over on the way back but didn’t let go of the sweets and I ate them whilst he was on way to hospital in an ambulance, which on reflexion seems a very heartless thing to do, the thought that even after being hit by a moving car he managed to stop himself letting go of the spoils of our plundering the oversized vodka bottle filled with change. What a good kid lol
During my time living with Jamie we lived on the Stockwell park estate in you guessed it. Stockwell, it was a brilliant time as kids I was about 8 and Jamie 6 and a half. Being brought up on an estate in the 80s was an eye opener as far as colour is concerned, how I looked at it then and even now is that we were all in the same boat (basically no one had any money so no one was better than anyone else) , I remember discovering new foods from African and west Indian friends mums who would make us dinner if we were in their houses. On the estate everyone pretty much knew everyone and I never remember not feeling safe, even when the older kids used to play a game named “Brixton riots” this game was played in the sheds with a team at opposite ends throwing bricks and anything they could muster. I only have once recollection of someone getting hurt, a friend & neighbour we called Derma as his African name we could not pronounce, he had a brick land on his head and my aunt had to look after him as his mum wasn’t in. But honestly he was a bit hyper and a little bit nuts before any brick ever landed on his head.
At one of my birthday parties as a kid I remember him jumping around like a nutter to some madness song and landing on my face mask I had been bought for my BMX, it was a goggle and face guard thing that I got as part of my riders outfit which consisted of padded trousers and mesh padded top and a bike helmet, I already had the BMX which was a Dirt Burner and quite a respectable bike, not as good as the Diamond back, but hey beggars and choosers and all that jazz, I remember years later when I moved back to Peckham with my mum leaving my bike outside Sainsbury’s and coming out and it had been nicked, what the fuck was I thinking leaving it there on the floor like a free present for anyone to take. I went home and told my mum I had asked some man to keep an eye on it for me, which was a lie because if I had said I just left it, I would of got beats.
Whilst still one the Stockwell park estate my mum was making her living with other peoples cheque books and used to buy me and Jamie nice things now and then, I remember us both getting matching Benetton tracksuits which were multi colour and didn’t make us stand out in anyway lol, another time we asked for Millwall football kits, now I have never been big into football but we did used to play football with the other kids on the back grass between the two blocks, so wanted to try and look the part. So some time after our requests for our royal blue Millwall kits we were given our lovely brand new royal blue football kits, now you see I didn’t mention Millwall in that last sentence? That’s because my mother had gone and bought us, and I remember every single detail about that kit and the logos, it was two worlds with a banner sewn through it saying BIRMINGHAM CITY FOOTBALL CLUB, now I happen to know that Birmingham is over 100 miles away from Stockwell so I had never seen or heard of this fucking team before and being made to go out to play in the full kit including socks and shorts was like asking to get bullied, maybe at a distance you might think we were supporting a London team but the closer you got the game would unravel and the BIRMINGHAM CITY FOOTBALL CLUB lettering was all to clear to see. The shame.
I am convinced people are not receiving this blog as feedback has hit an all time low and some people are saying its not coming through, so if you are lucky enough to be reading this please take the time to let me know you have received it, as imp starting to feel I’m talking to myself the last few weeks.
This Thursday see’s the launch of my new uk garage night at BoHos bar in lordship lane, if you can make it down that would be lovely, its a chilled out night from 8 until 12 with loads of cheap drinks and music to make you smile, I’m a bit nervous about how its going to be but loads of you say your coming so I’m hoping its gonna be great.
I cant help think imp forgetting something but hey, imp sure il remember as soon as I have sent this out, but before you go I am still only on about 90 followers on twitter so feel free to join and make me feel big lol, saying that I have made over 500 tweets in that time so I might put up a few funny ones in next weeks blog, now go and enjoy this great weather were having and feel free to share this blog with anyone any everyone, love peace and hair Greece
So with all the swearing and pointless banter out of the way shall we move on to the nitty gritty of this weeks blog by Daniel Blaze aged 34 and a half, yes too old to be on facebook but too young to be going on SAGA holidays, and after all age is nothing but a number, but when that number starts to get higher than you remember your parents being when you was a kid, you come to realize that yes you are getting old and you are fighting age at every corner, with the aid of sun beds, under eye roll on’s and trendy clothes that keep that youthful appearance strong, but I don’t act my age at any time of the day or night, I can only do me. And I will continue to act as if I’m 21 until the day the baby Jesus comes down to our sin filled earth and says “come in number 9 your time is up”, at that point I will gracefully tell our lord and savour to fuck off and live another 100 years annoying anyone who will listen with my stories of when I was a thieving little cunt who lived in Peckham and the time I sent my little cousin Jamie over the shop with monopoly money and he came back with sweets because the man in the sweet shop must of felt sorry for a 6/7 year old or the other time we nicked 10p out of his mums boyfriends penny jar and I sent Jamie over the shop, he got run over on the way back but didn’t let go of the sweets and I ate them whilst he was on way to hospital in an ambulance, which on reflexion seems a very heartless thing to do, the thought that even after being hit by a moving car he managed to stop himself letting go of the spoils of our plundering the oversized vodka bottle filled with change. What a good kid lol
During my time living with Jamie we lived on the Stockwell park estate in you guessed it. Stockwell, it was a brilliant time as kids I was about 8 and Jamie 6 and a half. Being brought up on an estate in the 80s was an eye opener as far as colour is concerned, how I looked at it then and even now is that we were all in the same boat (basically no one had any money so no one was better than anyone else) , I remember discovering new foods from African and west Indian friends mums who would make us dinner if we were in their houses. On the estate everyone pretty much knew everyone and I never remember not feeling safe, even when the older kids used to play a game named “Brixton riots” this game was played in the sheds with a team at opposite ends throwing bricks and anything they could muster. I only have once recollection of someone getting hurt, a friend & neighbour we called Derma as his African name we could not pronounce, he had a brick land on his head and my aunt had to look after him as his mum wasn’t in. But honestly he was a bit hyper and a little bit nuts before any brick ever landed on his head.
At one of my birthday parties as a kid I remember him jumping around like a nutter to some madness song and landing on my face mask I had been bought for my BMX, it was a goggle and face guard thing that I got as part of my riders outfit which consisted of padded trousers and mesh padded top and a bike helmet, I already had the BMX which was a Dirt Burner and quite a respectable bike, not as good as the Diamond back, but hey beggars and choosers and all that jazz, I remember years later when I moved back to Peckham with my mum leaving my bike outside Sainsbury’s and coming out and it had been nicked, what the fuck was I thinking leaving it there on the floor like a free present for anyone to take. I went home and told my mum I had asked some man to keep an eye on it for me, which was a lie because if I had said I just left it, I would of got beats.
Whilst still one the Stockwell park estate my mum was making her living with other peoples cheque books and used to buy me and Jamie nice things now and then, I remember us both getting matching Benetton tracksuits which were multi colour and didn’t make us stand out in anyway lol, another time we asked for Millwall football kits, now I have never been big into football but we did used to play football with the other kids on the back grass between the two blocks, so wanted to try and look the part. So some time after our requests for our royal blue Millwall kits we were given our lovely brand new royal blue football kits, now you see I didn’t mention Millwall in that last sentence? That’s because my mother had gone and bought us, and I remember every single detail about that kit and the logos, it was two worlds with a banner sewn through it saying BIRMINGHAM CITY FOOTBALL CLUB, now I happen to know that Birmingham is over 100 miles away from Stockwell so I had never seen or heard of this fucking team before and being made to go out to play in the full kit including socks and shorts was like asking to get bullied, maybe at a distance you might think we were supporting a London team but the closer you got the game would unravel and the BIRMINGHAM CITY FOOTBALL CLUB lettering was all to clear to see. The shame.
I am convinced people are not receiving this blog as feedback has hit an all time low and some people are saying its not coming through, so if you are lucky enough to be reading this please take the time to let me know you have received it, as imp starting to feel I’m talking to myself the last few weeks.
This Thursday see’s the launch of my new uk garage night at BoHos bar in lordship lane, if you can make it down that would be lovely, its a chilled out night from 8 until 12 with loads of cheap drinks and music to make you smile, I’m a bit nervous about how its going to be but loads of you say your coming so I’m hoping its gonna be great.
I cant help think imp forgetting something but hey, imp sure il remember as soon as I have sent this out, but before you go I am still only on about 90 followers on twitter so feel free to join and make me feel big lol, saying that I have made over 500 tweets in that time so I might put up a few funny ones in next weeks blog, now go and enjoy this great weather were having and feel free to share this blog with anyone any everyone, love peace and hair Greece
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)