Good day to all you fine people reading this weeks episode of BLOG the hard hitting docudrama from the award winning writer Daniel Blaze OBE....well that would be nice to say that wouldn't it? So unfortunately for you its just plain old Danny for now and the awards and OBE will have to wait until the day i do something useful or ground breaking in my hectic little life. i know what i want out of life at the moment and its not all penny whistles and moon pie, its pretty achievable if i keep focused and crack on without delaying any further.. for starters this Podcast is doing amazingly well and with the help of baby Jesus should get us a show on a worthy legal station, which in turn will help my Dj'ing and Stand up comedy work i already do.. then there's the lottery win and jetting off around the world with a certain young lady who will remain nameless at this point of proceedings, just just to say shes lovely and i am very happy right now without the lottery win, but if i could have it, then that will most definitely be the cherry, flake and sprinkles on the cake that Carlsberg make.. yes most probably the best cake in the whole world!! cake for everyone will be the cry!!
today seeing as im actually happy i shall tell you some things that are in my brain that may open your eyes to what's worth worrying about and what is happiness.. to start with you need to be comfortable with YOU, i don't mean wearing a tracksuit 24 hours a day, i mean you have to be able to look in the mirror and like what you see. i know for most of us that's asking quite a lot, but your ground zero of problems start from there. its never too late to change, whether that's going to the gym or becoming a nice person, if you have done things you regret then forgive yourself, if you have to pay some sort of penitence by doing charity work or helping others then do it. if you don't like your body this is a bit harder to deal with but not impossible, you don't need to go to the gym and spend the rest of your life eating salad. take the small steps towards changing things, if you eat mcdonalds 5 times a day, try only eating it 4 times a day for starters, if you get the bus to work get off the stop before the one you need and walk the rest, then the following week get off two stops before and so on, you don't need to move mountains for things to happen. just think about this, if you cant love and except you the way you are, you are never going to believe someone else will except you and run the high risk of being insecure and ruining any relationships you have.
as kids most other kids thought fat kids, ginger kids and kids who weren't the same colour as ourselves were somehow inferior, and to be honest i was pretty much of the same thinking even though i fell into one of them categorizes (i will let you guess what one), its normal to have them thoughts but it takes education from parents to let kids see that picking on others and bulling other kids is a sign that we are not happy with ourselves and use this bulling to draw attention away from our own insecurities.
Take time to think about what you want from life and take baby steps to making them happen, before you know it you will be running beside others who have been doing it a lot longer and you will look back and wonder what all the fuss was about.
as for taking my own advice, im actually doing it for once, i know what i want and its happening, i have cut down my eating, not just having milkshakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but eating smaller amounts and substituting breakfast with a shake, im happy to take my time loosing weight as in the end it comes down to a lifestyle change, and they take time. quick fixes are brilliant for instant results but what comes quickly can go quickly.. so onwards and being positive is the key, in the last couple of weeks ive probably had 7 chocolate bars, and considering i could eat that in a day its progress :-)
god this weeks Blog has been all preachy and im sorry, but im bursting with positiveness.. not sure facebook is letting people send messages from groups any more so having to do this via blogger, u can send them on person to person to please feel free :-)
right until next time have a ball girls n boys and look after those who look after you. :-)
Thursday, 17 March 2011
Wednesday, 9 March 2011
wednesday 9th march 2011 << Jesus loves me
yabba dabba do kids, welcome to this weeks really fun blog where will be so happy its unbelievable, usually because people who appear to be overly happy are crying inside like kittens in a sack, being hung over a river crossing.
This weeks blog is also brought to you in 4D its like 3D but it has that added feature of actually being real and smellworthy, not that is even a word, but i thought of it, so therefore shall declare it one as i stand on my chair at work telling all and sundry who will listen.
i sent out last weeks blog a total of 4 times on facebook but think because it had links to CDs, and my iTunes podcast link they thought you shouldn't read it.. well im assuming that's the case, because i got a very low amount of feedback on it, which is more than a disappointment seeing as i take the time to write the bloody thing.. so please feel free to look on my blogger site for last weeks blog which was also the one where i gave away a solid gold bar with every view, but seeing as that offer has now expired you are no longer eligible to claim your very own one!!
seek and you shall find said some man who apparently lives in the sky, he knows all but never shows his face or speaks to sane people, i think he only has one to ones with people that we tend to not pay much attention to, well those and so called Christian preachers who hold church service in shop doorways, nightclubs and disused garages and have no formal qualification or church recognised status for calling themselves Bishops, Pastors, Vicars and my personal favourite "prophet" like WOW you really need to be on gods speed dial to be alive and calling yourself a Prophet, and hasn't this still status got to be recognised by somebody in power somewhere? it seems not, these Christian churches seem to be a law onto themselves, paying no tax as they are registered as "churches" and religious organisations allowed to operate tax free, applying for grants and collecting money from anyone who sees it OK to give them their hard earned pennies!! well not me.. im not a hater and every man is entitled to his Hustle, but please dont try and get my on your hype, as im quite offended that you expect me to believe A. because you say so and B because if your a real man of God why do you feel the need to open your own church? why not celebrate with others?
Its like not being able to succeed in a company, so rather than try work your way up and get credibility you decide to start your own business and declare yourself the TOP DOG. so with this in mind i might start a company called..i dunno... God aint a great!! my new company deals with everything from walking your dog, cleaning your house to telling you how to live & where your going wrong. i declare myself the brains of this outfit obviously and shall give myself a snappy important sounding title like "Gods right-hand man & PA" then go about telling people i need 20% of every penny they earn. we will have meetings twice a week where i will charm you with stories of mine and Gods really close relationship, where you will feel you are getting vale for money from me, as i will get you to sing songs, pretty much like Karaoke without the Telly and a lack of any popular songs from today's top 40 chart.
if you think the above sounds like a great idea please send as much money as you can to me knowing you will be doing the lords work.. he will be pleased with your help (yeah ever wondered why a man oh so powerful needs help?) and when you die he will look after you, however this will also be far too late to find out if such a man exists and you might be pissed off to know you washed your whole life worshipping a false idol.. maybe you wanna read the small print and the facts from now!!
if you are reading this Jesus and all that heaven stuff is true, then i am sorry and i know you will forgive me because that's what you do RESULT!
i cant believe i have missed so much TV over the last week, so not much to report.. Saturday i went on a date with someone and missed take me out, which is a bit of a choker! seeing as it was a bit of a waste of my time, shes not a very nice girl and i wont be seeing her again. i dont know if i mentioned she was 6'3 and im only 5'7, but getting past that shes not a nice person.
got so much stuff coming up in the next few months, i have been asked to attempt to write a screen play, me and Keith from the podcast are going to Portsmouth to record a live TV interview, a magazine interview and a series of radio interviews, this is all on top of me starting a new IT task in my currant job and both clubs i look after going to be open more as the hot weather approaches, so i am going to be stupid busy, which is a good thing but also a little bit sad too as i dont think even if the right person comes along im going to have the time. :-(
with all the changes in my life i decided i am going to change my phone number and only use it for work, everyone that knows me can message me on facebook, twitter or my email. i no it might sound like im being funny with a lot of people, but i need to clear out as much stress as possible and get on with the things that i need to do without any distractions. its already making me more relaxed and happier.. i remember when people only had house phones or you had to call a phone box to speak to someone. in 2011 we want to get hold of someone there and then 24 hours a day without any thought of how it might affect that person or no matter how busy they might be.
right think im going to leave this weeks blog there, remember if you have any comments please do drop me an facebook, email or tweet >> i do read them all and try my best to reply.. until next week when i will have more for you i shall bid you farewell and ta'ra for now, look after what's yours, because its yours!
This weeks blog is also brought to you in 4D its like 3D but it has that added feature of actually being real and smellworthy, not that is even a word, but i thought of it, so therefore shall declare it one as i stand on my chair at work telling all and sundry who will listen.
i sent out last weeks blog a total of 4 times on facebook but think because it had links to CDs, and my iTunes podcast link they thought you shouldn't read it.. well im assuming that's the case, because i got a very low amount of feedback on it, which is more than a disappointment seeing as i take the time to write the bloody thing.. so please feel free to look on my blogger site for last weeks blog which was also the one where i gave away a solid gold bar with every view, but seeing as that offer has now expired you are no longer eligible to claim your very own one!!
seek and you shall find said some man who apparently lives in the sky, he knows all but never shows his face or speaks to sane people, i think he only has one to ones with people that we tend to not pay much attention to, well those and so called Christian preachers who hold church service in shop doorways, nightclubs and disused garages and have no formal qualification or church recognised status for calling themselves Bishops, Pastors, Vicars and my personal favourite "prophet" like WOW you really need to be on gods speed dial to be alive and calling yourself a Prophet, and hasn't this still status got to be recognised by somebody in power somewhere? it seems not, these Christian churches seem to be a law onto themselves, paying no tax as they are registered as "churches" and religious organisations allowed to operate tax free, applying for grants and collecting money from anyone who sees it OK to give them their hard earned pennies!! well not me.. im not a hater and every man is entitled to his Hustle, but please dont try and get my on your hype, as im quite offended that you expect me to believe A. because you say so and B because if your a real man of God why do you feel the need to open your own church? why not celebrate with others?
Its like not being able to succeed in a company, so rather than try work your way up and get credibility you decide to start your own business and declare yourself the TOP DOG. so with this in mind i might start a company called..i dunno... God aint a great!! my new company deals with everything from walking your dog, cleaning your house to telling you how to live & where your going wrong. i declare myself the brains of this outfit obviously and shall give myself a snappy important sounding title like "Gods right-hand man & PA" then go about telling people i need 20% of every penny they earn. we will have meetings twice a week where i will charm you with stories of mine and Gods really close relationship, where you will feel you are getting vale for money from me, as i will get you to sing songs, pretty much like Karaoke without the Telly and a lack of any popular songs from today's top 40 chart.
if you think the above sounds like a great idea please send as much money as you can to me knowing you will be doing the lords work.. he will be pleased with your help (yeah ever wondered why a man oh so powerful needs help?) and when you die he will look after you, however this will also be far too late to find out if such a man exists and you might be pissed off to know you washed your whole life worshipping a false idol.. maybe you wanna read the small print and the facts from now!!
if you are reading this Jesus and all that heaven stuff is true, then i am sorry and i know you will forgive me because that's what you do RESULT!
i cant believe i have missed so much TV over the last week, so not much to report.. Saturday i went on a date with someone and missed take me out, which is a bit of a choker! seeing as it was a bit of a waste of my time, shes not a very nice girl and i wont be seeing her again. i dont know if i mentioned she was 6'3 and im only 5'7, but getting past that shes not a nice person.
got so much stuff coming up in the next few months, i have been asked to attempt to write a screen play, me and Keith from the podcast are going to Portsmouth to record a live TV interview, a magazine interview and a series of radio interviews, this is all on top of me starting a new IT task in my currant job and both clubs i look after going to be open more as the hot weather approaches, so i am going to be stupid busy, which is a good thing but also a little bit sad too as i dont think even if the right person comes along im going to have the time. :-(
with all the changes in my life i decided i am going to change my phone number and only use it for work, everyone that knows me can message me on facebook, twitter or my email. i no it might sound like im being funny with a lot of people, but i need to clear out as much stress as possible and get on with the things that i need to do without any distractions. its already making me more relaxed and happier.. i remember when people only had house phones or you had to call a phone box to speak to someone. in 2011 we want to get hold of someone there and then 24 hours a day without any thought of how it might affect that person or no matter how busy they might be.
right think im going to leave this weeks blog there, remember if you have any comments please do drop me an facebook, email or tweet >> i do read them all and try my best to reply.. until next week when i will have more for you i shall bid you farewell and ta'ra for now, look after what's yours, because its yours!
Wednesday, 2 March 2011
WEDNESDAY 2ND MARCH 2011 > HAIRY LEMON
Good evening children i hope your sitting comfortably, aqs our story will begin before you have had time to close all the windows and doors to keep out the bogey man...hang on a minute, why name a scary character after the snot up my nose? it sort of makes him or her (as we are living in PC madness these days, and not the bloody computer people either you thick cunt lol) less frightening doesn't it? i remember going to stay with my aunt Annie in Norfolk and being told we had to go to bed or some dude called Hairy Lemon will put us in his sack, not Harry! yes Hairy, this dude sounded pretty scary at the time as i was about 6. i was also promised a ice cream as big as me which never fucking materialised either, i feel to ring the old woman up now and tell i want payment and im not feeling 10003 litre tubs for £1 from Iceland, i want Ben & Jerry's cookie dough, and if you dont like that then you my friend are just weird and probably wet the bed still.
i just wikipedia'ed bogeyman and he is known all over as the man who sorts out naughty children and commonly has a sack, so in some places is just know as "Sack Man" sort of like a superhero for adults to get kids to do whatever they want.. i hope there's no pedos reading this getting ideas, because Jesus sees all, yeah that's pretty much my Jesus threat.. He sees all and does fuck all about it, like having CCTV with no record facility that's located 409 thousand miles away from where the camera is actually situated. bit of an empty threat all round really.. thanks Jesus you really take your work seriously i see.
So No Gypsy news to report this week other than they are all still alive and tarmacking drives, selling pegs and conning dishonest folk out of money up and down the country and of course polishing the waltzes up so they can charge us £3 each a go of them then try palm us off with goldfish that die in 24 hours for fixed hoopla games.
that Model agency program that i thought looked good was actually a pile of shit, i watched it and spend the whole time wondering how long it would take for the paint to dry if i painted my bedroom wall, channel 4 however have promised us some more Gypsy shows in the near future, last week we had my idea for a Eastenders style gypsy program and this week my suggestions are
Gypsy - mister & missus: The man trys to remember the last time he was nice to his wife & the woman gives helpful cleaning and polishing tips as well as remembering a list of his favourite dinners.
The Real "Gypsy" Hustle: this focus's on the day to day life of the breadwinner as he manages to con unsuspecting members of the public out of their money and unlike its bbc version, they do not return the money at the end of the con.
Gypsy Watchdog: unlike the program on TV at the moment this is just a play on words and is actually a show where they offer a dog minding service and then steal your dog off you and sell it for breeding.
The Only Way Is Essex To Park Your Caravan: this show is just chaos where they follow the elite of Essex society and a bunch of gypsies move next door to Sugar hut and use it as their local. This Grabbing & fighting spectacular is not to be missed!
Last night i had the pleasure of taking my 18 year old son to the Devlin concert, i took him and his mate to the pub first and realised ive never bought him a pint before so thought it fitting to do such an honoured tradition that is passed down from father to son.. after hitting the pub we went into the 02 academy in Islington and watched from the balcony as Mc after Mc came out the wings and performed. i will be honest and say im not grime fan, im not even a devlin fan, but the music and energy was to good it was hard not to like and actually enjoy the experience. my son is a massive fan of the artists and i was able to get us an invite to the artists after party where he got to meet all his Heroes and got pictures and got to hang out with Devlin which made his year, was nice seeing him so happy.. i told him i want a solid gold watch for fathers day this year and his response was how he would like to meet Katy B now as he knows i know her.. cheeky sod. seriously though if you get a chance to see Devlin & co live, get yourself there!!
We are recording part 8 this Monday of our Big and Clever Podcast and i am asking that if you would like to contribute to the show by sending us your funny stories, school reports or anything amusing you think will be funny then please email me on mrdblaze@hotmail.com and you will be credited as supplying the material. it is going really well but still needs you to subscribe to it via http://mrqw.es/t/bigandclever been number 1 in the new and noteworthy chart 4 times now, with the weekly statistics coming out every Friday and so far a thousand more downloads a week being added to our staggering total. its had next to no promotion and we would love so much for you to recommend it to friends and colleges by using the link above.
Also last Saturday i played at Suppliers birthday bash at Opera house which was wicked, had loads of fun seeing people i haven't seen in ages, loads of people came up and said they love the podcast, all i can say is thank you!! means loads trust me x
Right thats it from me for this week, remember you can give feedback on the podcasts & Blogs please message me on twitter @IamDannyBlaze >> email or just facebook me back>> all feedback is welcome and i do try to reply to everyone!!
This Saturday sees the launch of our night in bloomsbury's kingpin suite where we filmed our music video last summer, its called strictly house and the line up is
FUNK MOB - SUPA D
MAJESTY - PEREMPAY
KISMET - TEASER
MA1 - MJEM-RIDZ
GEMINI - DOGTANIAN
SPIDEY G - CREED
for 2 free mix cds you can download them here:
The SIMPLY HOUSEMIX CD; The simply house mix cd features MC Creed and is mixed by the Funk Mob:- http://www.sendspace.com/pro/dl/ud3d4w
Also download the award winning Funk mob cd feat Mc versatile, Coldsteps and Nikkie.s
http://www.sendspace.com/pro/dl/ql2m4s
i just wikipedia'ed bogeyman and he is known all over as the man who sorts out naughty children and commonly has a sack, so in some places is just know as "Sack Man" sort of like a superhero for adults to get kids to do whatever they want.. i hope there's no pedos reading this getting ideas, because Jesus sees all, yeah that's pretty much my Jesus threat.. He sees all and does fuck all about it, like having CCTV with no record facility that's located 409 thousand miles away from where the camera is actually situated. bit of an empty threat all round really.. thanks Jesus you really take your work seriously i see.
So No Gypsy news to report this week other than they are all still alive and tarmacking drives, selling pegs and conning dishonest folk out of money up and down the country and of course polishing the waltzes up so they can charge us £3 each a go of them then try palm us off with goldfish that die in 24 hours for fixed hoopla games.
that Model agency program that i thought looked good was actually a pile of shit, i watched it and spend the whole time wondering how long it would take for the paint to dry if i painted my bedroom wall, channel 4 however have promised us some more Gypsy shows in the near future, last week we had my idea for a Eastenders style gypsy program and this week my suggestions are
Gypsy - mister & missus: The man trys to remember the last time he was nice to his wife & the woman gives helpful cleaning and polishing tips as well as remembering a list of his favourite dinners.
The Real "Gypsy" Hustle: this focus's on the day to day life of the breadwinner as he manages to con unsuspecting members of the public out of their money and unlike its bbc version, they do not return the money at the end of the con.
Gypsy Watchdog: unlike the program on TV at the moment this is just a play on words and is actually a show where they offer a dog minding service and then steal your dog off you and sell it for breeding.
The Only Way Is Essex To Park Your Caravan: this show is just chaos where they follow the elite of Essex society and a bunch of gypsies move next door to Sugar hut and use it as their local. This Grabbing & fighting spectacular is not to be missed!
Last night i had the pleasure of taking my 18 year old son to the Devlin concert, i took him and his mate to the pub first and realised ive never bought him a pint before so thought it fitting to do such an honoured tradition that is passed down from father to son.. after hitting the pub we went into the 02 academy in Islington and watched from the balcony as Mc after Mc came out the wings and performed. i will be honest and say im not grime fan, im not even a devlin fan, but the music and energy was to good it was hard not to like and actually enjoy the experience. my son is a massive fan of the artists and i was able to get us an invite to the artists after party where he got to meet all his Heroes and got pictures and got to hang out with Devlin which made his year, was nice seeing him so happy.. i told him i want a solid gold watch for fathers day this year and his response was how he would like to meet Katy B now as he knows i know her.. cheeky sod. seriously though if you get a chance to see Devlin & co live, get yourself there!!
We are recording part 8 this Monday of our Big and Clever Podcast and i am asking that if you would like to contribute to the show by sending us your funny stories, school reports or anything amusing you think will be funny then please email me on mrdblaze@hotmail.com and you will be credited as supplying the material. it is going really well but still needs you to subscribe to it via http://mrqw.es/t/bigandclever been number 1 in the new and noteworthy chart 4 times now, with the weekly statistics coming out every Friday and so far a thousand more downloads a week being added to our staggering total. its had next to no promotion and we would love so much for you to recommend it to friends and colleges by using the link above.
Also last Saturday i played at Suppliers birthday bash at Opera house which was wicked, had loads of fun seeing people i haven't seen in ages, loads of people came up and said they love the podcast, all i can say is thank you!! means loads trust me x
Right thats it from me for this week, remember you can give feedback on the podcasts & Blogs please message me on twitter @IamDannyBlaze >> email or just facebook me back>> all feedback is welcome and i do try to reply to everyone!!
This Saturday sees the launch of our night in bloomsbury's kingpin suite where we filmed our music video last summer, its called strictly house and the line up is
FUNK MOB - SUPA D
MAJESTY - PEREMPAY
KISMET - TEASER
MA1 - MJEM-RIDZ
GEMINI - DOGTANIAN
SPIDEY G - CREED
for 2 free mix cds you can download them here:
The SIMPLY HOUSEMIX CD; The simply house mix cd features MC Creed and is mixed by the Funk Mob:- http://www.sendspace.com/pro/dl/ud3d4w
Also download the award winning Funk mob cd feat Mc versatile, Coldsteps and Nikkie.s
http://www.sendspace.com/pro/dl/ql2m4s
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
wednesday 23rd feb 2001 >> the gypsy lie
Good day to all you girls n boys in internet world who does read this ere blog that i'm writing n that. Has been a whole week since i did write the other one, and had lots of positive feedback but still no knickers sent in the post, i am suspecting my postman of withholding what is rightfully and legally mine, in fact i am thinking of setting up a Sting, whereas i send some sort of insect that does have a really poisonous bite slash sting, and when he opens the envelope which will be sprayed with a half decent perfume that i shall have to get on the envelope by taking it into Boots the chemist and using a tester (always thinking me) , So assuming this works i will not receive any mail as the postman will be dead or i will get a totally new shiny postie, who may or may not be a thieving bastard.
So how the How the frig are you my lovelies? not long until pancake day (Tuesday 8th march), the day of the year we break out the lemon juice and sugar, i never have pancakes, or any sort of lemon and sugar combination (not including lockets honey and lemon sweets for sore throats) any other time of the year!! and u get to see who the best or biggest Tosser is in your household unless like me you live alone and you win by default being the best and or the biggest Tosser all year round.
This week or last night We had no Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, which was the most documentary on channel 4 ever apparently hitting nearly 9 million viewers, now i know you may think that i am just a fountain of facts and information as well as being incredibly good looking, talented and full of bullshit..anyway's No Gypsy on telly did make me a very sad boy even going to the trouble of switching the telly box of between 9pm-10pm last night (i fucking didn't) >> but not to worry as one of our favourite Gyppo's was in this weeks and last weeks newspapers, of course i am referring to the king of the Gypsies, put your hands together for the one, the only (he's not) Paddy O'Dougherty, the man who has over 70 God children and has fucked more gypsies than the government planning department in England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales combined, yes apparently Mr i get 2 new cars every year and have annual parties in the cemetery is currently being "Minded" by the police after he gave evidence against another traveller who broke his Jaw in 2 places after an attempted fight in a nightclub.
what has broken my heart in this instance is the fact that the man i looked up to as a role model has gone against the gypsies ways (as they put it, not me, my grammars shit but im not retarded), yeah so he stood up in court and said he was putting it all on for the camera on the Danny dyers deadliest men and of course our beloved BFGW. Its all an act he says, next they will be telling me Grabbing is actually glorified "rape" and all them girls are NOT virgins when they get married? please don't say its so?
So maybe my accusations of charging to be a godparent were true after all, i think he has bigger things to worry about at the moment than what i think, like i wonder what caravan is going to be set fire to first when the rest of the tax dodging, tarmac laying brigade find out that he's given evidence in court against another Traveller and i did read that he is also related, which kind of goes without saying seeing as they marry their own sisters.. that was just a joke, half sisters and first cousins are not ruled out though.
also in the papers were Violet Annes family wedding where the caters alleged that hes still owed 4 grand from her dad who is one of the gypsies who lives in a house made of bricks.. im very confused as they all seemed to have the highest morality of any people i had ever had the chance to see on my telly box.
I did actually have a sneaky peek at the Telly box and saw resident nut case chef stroke food scientist Heston Blumenthal campaigning to to make food in a children's ward of a hospital better by dreaming up names like "sick soup", Eyeballs" and other ludicrous ideas involving putting ketchup filled worms on a pizza, now far be it from me to criticise but the bloke is mental and his menu seemed impractical at best, injecting worms with the ketchup seemed like a lengthy process and only really an idea that will be a novelty.
anyway enough about that crazy c*%t, next week we have something called the model agency, i reckon it will be a right bitch fest and well worth a viewing.. check me out trying to be some sort of TV critic, im thinking i may need to get a life that doesn't involve watching telly box on the nights i finish work!!
This saturday i am Dj'ing at Mc Suppliers birthday bash at Opera house and might try get a driver and have a few shandys, so if you fancy a night out, feel free to come say helllllllo!!
recording episode 7 of the Big & Clever Podcast tonight and im very pleased to announce we have passed 8000 downloads and counting, its all very exciting stuff. we are looking at bringing up a guest every now and then as well as doing a live podcast via u stream so look out for that girls n lads.
So thats it for this weeks blog, do remember all feedback is gratefully received and i reply to everyone's messages, so until next weeks exciting drama, take care of you are yours and Brappp yes i said it!! i went there x
So how the How the frig are you my lovelies? not long until pancake day (Tuesday 8th march), the day of the year we break out the lemon juice and sugar, i never have pancakes, or any sort of lemon and sugar combination (not including lockets honey and lemon sweets for sore throats) any other time of the year!! and u get to see who the best or biggest Tosser is in your household unless like me you live alone and you win by default being the best and or the biggest Tosser all year round.
This week or last night We had no Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, which was the most documentary on channel 4 ever apparently hitting nearly 9 million viewers, now i know you may think that i am just a fountain of facts and information as well as being incredibly good looking, talented and full of bullshit..anyway's No Gypsy on telly did make me a very sad boy even going to the trouble of switching the telly box of between 9pm-10pm last night (i fucking didn't) >> but not to worry as one of our favourite Gyppo's was in this weeks and last weeks newspapers, of course i am referring to the king of the Gypsies, put your hands together for the one, the only (he's not) Paddy O'Dougherty, the man who has over 70 God children and has fucked more gypsies than the government planning department in England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales combined, yes apparently Mr i get 2 new cars every year and have annual parties in the cemetery is currently being "Minded" by the police after he gave evidence against another traveller who broke his Jaw in 2 places after an attempted fight in a nightclub.
what has broken my heart in this instance is the fact that the man i looked up to as a role model has gone against the gypsies ways (as they put it, not me, my grammars shit but im not retarded), yeah so he stood up in court and said he was putting it all on for the camera on the Danny dyers deadliest men and of course our beloved BFGW. Its all an act he says, next they will be telling me Grabbing is actually glorified "rape" and all them girls are NOT virgins when they get married? please don't say its so?
So maybe my accusations of charging to be a godparent were true after all, i think he has bigger things to worry about at the moment than what i think, like i wonder what caravan is going to be set fire to first when the rest of the tax dodging, tarmac laying brigade find out that he's given evidence in court against another Traveller and i did read that he is also related, which kind of goes without saying seeing as they marry their own sisters.. that was just a joke, half sisters and first cousins are not ruled out though.
also in the papers were Violet Annes family wedding where the caters alleged that hes still owed 4 grand from her dad who is one of the gypsies who lives in a house made of bricks.. im very confused as they all seemed to have the highest morality of any people i had ever had the chance to see on my telly box.
I did actually have a sneaky peek at the Telly box and saw resident nut case chef stroke food scientist Heston Blumenthal campaigning to to make food in a children's ward of a hospital better by dreaming up names like "sick soup", Eyeballs" and other ludicrous ideas involving putting ketchup filled worms on a pizza, now far be it from me to criticise but the bloke is mental and his menu seemed impractical at best, injecting worms with the ketchup seemed like a lengthy process and only really an idea that will be a novelty.
anyway enough about that crazy c*%t, next week we have something called the model agency, i reckon it will be a right bitch fest and well worth a viewing.. check me out trying to be some sort of TV critic, im thinking i may need to get a life that doesn't involve watching telly box on the nights i finish work!!
This saturday i am Dj'ing at Mc Suppliers birthday bash at Opera house and might try get a driver and have a few shandys, so if you fancy a night out, feel free to come say helllllllo!!
recording episode 7 of the Big & Clever Podcast tonight and im very pleased to announce we have passed 8000 downloads and counting, its all very exciting stuff. we are looking at bringing up a guest every now and then as well as doing a live podcast via u stream so look out for that girls n lads.
So thats it for this weeks blog, do remember all feedback is gratefully received and i reply to everyone's messages, so until next weeks exciting drama, take care of you are yours and Brappp yes i said it!! i went there x
Wednesday, 16 February 2011
Danny Blaze's On Line Off Air Blog: tuesday 16th feb 2011 RIP BIG FAT GYPSY WEDDING
Danny Blaze's On Line Off Air Blog: tuesday 16th feb 2011 RIP BIG FAT GYPSY WEDDING: "So the suns gone down on Big Fat Gypsy weddings faster than George Michael at a cocks convention, its so sad i really really hoped they woul..."
tuesday 16th feb 2011 RIP BIG FAT GYPSY WEDDING
So the suns gone down on Big Fat Gypsy weddings faster than George Michael at a cocks convention, its so sad i really really hoped they would do an Eastenders style soap where we could all unite on a Tuesday evening and watch the day to day goings on around the sites of the UK, as im typing it i can see your beady eyes thinking who can we pitch this super idea to! yeah well that's aright, as long as the fucking thing gets made. just think a weekly or even twice weekly dose or "Grabbing" , Fighting and driveways being tarmacked by the likes of resident King of the gypsies Paddy O'D.
Its like i cant remember Tuesday nights before this program was on and i will miss it like a dog ive had for a few months and now its run away after ive paid for all its injections, the ungrateful little fucker, i dont know what they are going to put on instead of our beloved BFGW but i can guarantee it wont be a patch on it.
This week concentrated on the highlight of the gypsy calender, now i use the word calender but i doubt any of the cunts have seen what one looks like.. the highlight is Appleby horse fair, when what seems like every Gypsy worth his tarmacking gloves descends on a quiet town to buy and sell horse's, goods in the market and "Grab" the shit out of a woman! if like me you feel compelled to go to this years show its being held 3rd to the 5th of June, saying that i would like to go but i doubt it will be the charming Romany crew we need to worry about, on the other hand i might just feel safer going to the Notting hill carnival dressed as the Ku Klux Klan! what do you think? Appleby or Notting hill?
I'm only taking the piss, all my sheets are blue in my house and i wouldnt go Notting Hill in an armoured car.
The final show gave us insight into billy one of the event organisers.. The guy can jump in his car and be at the fair in 2 hours, but Billy decides to take his horses and old skool cart adding another 13 days and 22 hours to the journey, yes 2 weeks by horse and cart or 2 hours by car! are you taking the piss? he gets about an hour into his journey and calls his wife to drive and bring him some stew, now he seems like a nice enough chap, but you are defiantly taking the piss out of that wife mate. and i need to know for the love of god how he charges his phone that he always seems to be on whilst, well i wouldn't call it driving the horse and cart, but hes in control of it on a main road. no electric in his old cart, so i reckon hes telling porky's about only staying in that cart/house/tin of quality street thing he's dragging up the road.
we also got to meet Bridget who kept her blinds now in her bedroom incase somebody peeked through the window and see her dresses. erm so what? do you think they will be able to see the colours and design and within 3 days make exact replicas ya doughnut? i did feel a bit sorry for these girls getting married to blokes who wont even show their faces on Tv, i mean what do they have to fear? if a bloke knocks on my door selling rugs or offering to "do" my driveway with an Irish accent, im going to assume he's a fucking gypsy no messing.
I was Hoodwinked before when a car with 2 gypsy blokes pulled up and offered to sell me £90 worth of T mobile vouchers for £20, now that's a bargain in any language, so quick as a flash i got my £20 out and handed it over like i was buying the cure for cancer, he placed the phone cards in a green envelope in front of me and handed me the envelope, we made small talk and they drove off with me probably waving like a dickhead. i opened the envelope to discover i had just bought some green envelopes folded up inside of another green envelope, a bargain at £20, so thats only £10 per envelope. not bad for bright green stationary, and they say you cant Con and honest man.
We recorded episode number 6 of the Big and Clever podcast on Sunday and had a loads of fun doing it, our latest figures show its being downloaded by over 6000 people which is amazing, to everyone whos taken the time to listen i want to say thank you, it is a right laugh to be involved with and we will be recording number 7 in about a weeks time. if you want to email us any funny news stories please feel free and you will get credited on the podcast for sending it in.
So looking at my twitter it looked pretty grim on Valentines day, not many people seemed to have got a card or any sort of fuss made over them which is a shame, saying that i got nothing either and ended up going out with Fiona and Emma for an early nandos, where Emma ordered chips and Rice with her chicken. now i pointed this out at the time because i was baffled as i have never seen anyone order or even want both! but after me asking on twitter it seems its normal for girls and blokes think its not allowed.. any thoughts???
So now its behind us we have pancake day and Easter to look forward to soon, so lets put the horrid V day in the past until next year, when we can celebrate the death of some paedophile called Valentino, who the day of valentines is celebrated because of (see facts, thats what im giving you..hardcore facts lol), so thats enough to say you didnt want to celebrate in the first place lol
Right so dont think ive missed anything, we covered the fact we are going to miss BFGW and will all be looking at our Telly Boxes at 9pm next week with blank stares on our faces and V day, so if you have any feedback or thoughts please do get in contact via twitter, email, facebook, smoke signals, Morse code or carrier pidgin..
Until next time lets get out there Grabbing and all that old shite!! be good www.twitter/IamDannyBlaze
Its like i cant remember Tuesday nights before this program was on and i will miss it like a dog ive had for a few months and now its run away after ive paid for all its injections, the ungrateful little fucker, i dont know what they are going to put on instead of our beloved BFGW but i can guarantee it wont be a patch on it.
This week concentrated on the highlight of the gypsy calender, now i use the word calender but i doubt any of the cunts have seen what one looks like.. the highlight is Appleby horse fair, when what seems like every Gypsy worth his tarmacking gloves descends on a quiet town to buy and sell horse's, goods in the market and "Grab" the shit out of a woman! if like me you feel compelled to go to this years show its being held 3rd to the 5th of June, saying that i would like to go but i doubt it will be the charming Romany crew we need to worry about, on the other hand i might just feel safer going to the Notting hill carnival dressed as the Ku Klux Klan! what do you think? Appleby or Notting hill?
I'm only taking the piss, all my sheets are blue in my house and i wouldnt go Notting Hill in an armoured car.
The final show gave us insight into billy one of the event organisers.. The guy can jump in his car and be at the fair in 2 hours, but Billy decides to take his horses and old skool cart adding another 13 days and 22 hours to the journey, yes 2 weeks by horse and cart or 2 hours by car! are you taking the piss? he gets about an hour into his journey and calls his wife to drive and bring him some stew, now he seems like a nice enough chap, but you are defiantly taking the piss out of that wife mate. and i need to know for the love of god how he charges his phone that he always seems to be on whilst, well i wouldn't call it driving the horse and cart, but hes in control of it on a main road. no electric in his old cart, so i reckon hes telling porky's about only staying in that cart/house/tin of quality street thing he's dragging up the road.
we also got to meet Bridget who kept her blinds now in her bedroom incase somebody peeked through the window and see her dresses. erm so what? do you think they will be able to see the colours and design and within 3 days make exact replicas ya doughnut? i did feel a bit sorry for these girls getting married to blokes who wont even show their faces on Tv, i mean what do they have to fear? if a bloke knocks on my door selling rugs or offering to "do" my driveway with an Irish accent, im going to assume he's a fucking gypsy no messing.
I was Hoodwinked before when a car with 2 gypsy blokes pulled up and offered to sell me £90 worth of T mobile vouchers for £20, now that's a bargain in any language, so quick as a flash i got my £20 out and handed it over like i was buying the cure for cancer, he placed the phone cards in a green envelope in front of me and handed me the envelope, we made small talk and they drove off with me probably waving like a dickhead. i opened the envelope to discover i had just bought some green envelopes folded up inside of another green envelope, a bargain at £20, so thats only £10 per envelope. not bad for bright green stationary, and they say you cant Con and honest man.
We recorded episode number 6 of the Big and Clever podcast on Sunday and had a loads of fun doing it, our latest figures show its being downloaded by over 6000 people which is amazing, to everyone whos taken the time to listen i want to say thank you, it is a right laugh to be involved with and we will be recording number 7 in about a weeks time. if you want to email us any funny news stories please feel free and you will get credited on the podcast for sending it in.
So looking at my twitter it looked pretty grim on Valentines day, not many people seemed to have got a card or any sort of fuss made over them which is a shame, saying that i got nothing either and ended up going out with Fiona and Emma for an early nandos, where Emma ordered chips and Rice with her chicken. now i pointed this out at the time because i was baffled as i have never seen anyone order or even want both! but after me asking on twitter it seems its normal for girls and blokes think its not allowed.. any thoughts???
So now its behind us we have pancake day and Easter to look forward to soon, so lets put the horrid V day in the past until next year, when we can celebrate the death of some paedophile called Valentino, who the day of valentines is celebrated because of (see facts, thats what im giving you..hardcore facts lol), so thats enough to say you didnt want to celebrate in the first place lol
Right so dont think ive missed anything, we covered the fact we are going to miss BFGW and will all be looking at our Telly Boxes at 9pm next week with blank stares on our faces and V day, so if you have any feedback or thoughts please do get in contact via twitter, email, facebook, smoke signals, Morse code or carrier pidgin..
Until next time lets get out there Grabbing and all that old shite!! be good www.twitter/IamDannyBlaze
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
Wednesday 9th feb 2011 - V day approaches
Did you know that i can remember my 5th birthday party? well bits of it. i can remember my cake with little plastic Womble characters on it, and for those of you who are too old or young to remember the Womble's they lived on Wimbledon common in a house which was made from 100% recycled materials, them guys were ahead of their times, as anyone who lives in a real house and not a block of flats is encouraged to do recycling, but the 100 or so people who live in council blocks are just expected to fill up the bin chute with babies nappy's and the boxes from ready meals, so no pressure on the poor, just the nice nice people feeling good about themselves for "doing their bit" which on contrast to the amount of houses to estates up and down the country is pretty much a waste, but better than nothing i suppose.
the thing about remembering stuff so far back is your not sure what you actually see and what bits your brain automaticly fills in by itself, well thats how my childhood is remembered by me, it little bits n bobs, some of it great like going on holiday to Spain, even though it was on a coach which took about 28 hours if i remember correctly, i was 13 so not so much a baby, but a long time ago still (22 years to be precise, even saying that makes me cringe). i remember my mum bought me black converse boots because she said they were going to be in fashion soon (i only had to wait 20 years for them to come into fashion, its just a shame i don't have them any more coz i could be one cool mother fucker and tell everyone how i am 20 years ahead of style!! take note GOK)
The year was 1998 and life wasnt that bad if you knew how to get what you want. by this i mean if i wanted something i went and stole it from the shops, i wasnt a stranger to having a party with my best friend Eileen, we used to go to Woolworths in Peckham and basically nick everything we needed for a party, including party poppers, toys, sweets and anything else we see fit to take. it was a laugh and only my cousin Jamie ever got caught nicking a torch from Woolworths and he was 2 years younger than me so he just put on the waterworks and they let him go, even saying he can keep the torch..result.
So on this holiday was My cousins Steven, Jamie, my Mum and the Bloke she was cheating on her boyfriend with Lesley, i fucking hated Lesley but i have to admit he knew how to bribe me, he would give me £5 and tell me to fuck off as he wanted to spend some time with my Mum, now seeing as he has given me money i was only willing to do as
i was told. (i remember being about 11 and having to go to a pub in Havil street and they had the original Mario Brothers, he gave me enough money over the months of going there to clock the whole fucking game)
Lesley used to have all these cockney mannerisms and sayings that guaranteed that i would think he was a knob, but like i said he knew his way round a bribe & used to buy me stuff all the time to impress my mum, this particular bribe was a holiday for my 13th birthday and who was i to say No? i was taught to respect your elders, well whilst they are saying or doing something that's in your own benefit. His favourite saying seemed to be "Think about it" which he added to the end of any sentence where he was giving you any sort of Life advice or general "Lesley wisdom" as kids we took the piss out of him pretty hardcore, constantly repeating "Think about it" like parrots who only know one word.
whilst on this Free holiday we were told there would be a fancy dress competition for men to dress up as women, my cousins were only too happy to play dress up in womens clothes but me being a stush Jamaican from birth i thought it was very gay and not my thing. My Mum then put alot of pressure on me to enter as i was not getting it the spirit of things.
i basically had to wear my mums blouse, bra and skirt and wear make up, which felt wrong. we were ushered into a room where some guys were taking it far too seriously and the hotel owners were plying people with free alcohol to help them relax or groom them as i see now.
My biggest worry as a child must of been what shall i do tomorrow, how do you go back to that easy carefree way of thinking?
Saturday was the first proper night out i have had in ages, went to sum illegal rave which was quite exciting, where your in a disused office complex with pained walls covered in graffiti, listening to house music surrounded by people smoking & openly taking drugs, you buy tokens at the cloakroom for drinks..genius system lol
Then after the fact they have no air con and we couldn't breathe we went on to cable to another house night, this night was full of people i recognised from Bermondsey and Dj'ing about town, the highlight of my night was a girl i know who hasnt seen me for years coming up to me and said "sorry for staring but do you know who you look like?" I said NO..."Danny Blaze" hahaha i was just glad it wasnt Garry Glitter (yes i always mention his name it gives me jokes)
#BFGW
So Paddy gets a new car twice a year, he then takes it to the cemetery to show it off to his son who died 14 years prior in a car accident (No Irony there whatsoever), i did write some awful tweets last night about this incident which had me pissing myself laughing, but i will write a couple here but please remember its only a little joke.
"From paddy: Dear Dead son hope you like the new whip (car), its just like the one that run you over, but newer"
"Paddy is like the King of the Gypsies, if he knocks on your door & wants to fuck ur Gypo bride u have to let him #GypoRules"
So back to business.. Paddy seems to be a highly respected member of the gypsy community and featured on Danny Dyers deadliest men, so u no if Danny Dyer rates him, he must be Good, lol Paddy has over 70 Godchildren which makes me think he is somehow charging for this service, i mean why the fuck would you want to spend your life having to mind other peoples kids, maybe a couple i understand, ive got a God daughter, but i draw the line at 5, so 70 is just showing off or a lucrative business.
We still didn't get to find out the source of Paddy or any of the other "gentlemen" (see what i did there? i called em a nice name) incomes, i mean you can buy pegs in the pound shop and the most you pay for a bit of Lucky Heather is a fucking pound.
i did hear the words "scrap metal" & "tarmacking" mentioned but you would have to pave the M25 to be able to afford 2 new cars a year? well that or new cars cost £6.47 as ive never bought a car from the showroom.
We also got to meet violet who at 22 was an old bride, but looking at the state of her i reckon shes been Grabbed more times than the cordless microphone at a Garage rave, she was marrying some dude who didnt want to be shown on telly, i dont blame him, shes fucking butters. but she was brought up in a house and had a job, but gave up living in a house and her Job to live in a caravan next to a motorway, so we know shes got her head screwed on.. or not, i just think her mum was pleased to be getting rid of her, saying stuff like "if she tries to come back we wont have her, she has to work at the marriage", lets just hope violets anonymous husband dont beat her ah!
Just been told our comedy Big and Clever podcast has had over 5000 downloads on iTunes which is an amazing achievement seeing as it is totally unscripted & has no financial backing or plugging other than us plugging it on our Twitter & facebook, really hoping it leads to a successful stand up career & a radio show on a legal station in London. so if you haven't listened or downloaded it yet, come on what are you waiting for? the direct link is bellow and we are recording episode number 6 this coming Sunday at True mansions, if you want to raise any topics, send us Garry news, or any funny stories please do so as, its only done to entertain. (and the radio show, get rich, meet women, help with stand up, get groupies, get paid work and so forth lol)
http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/big-clever-truevip/id411049804
So do Try have a listen :-)
right lastly its V day next week and for all single crew it might aswell be American independence day for all the use it is, i did have some random ideas to ring all the nice resturants and book all the tables so no smarmy in love merchant can show how cool he is A. by having a girlfriend and B. that he managed to get a table lol. Think we all need to unite and ruin the days of all happy in love peoples. obviously this is all down to bitterness and twisted logic but all good fun in your mind as long as you don't actually try and ruin anyone's V day lol
So if you lot have got any anti V day plans i want you to share them with me so i can write about any good ones in next weeks blog
right so until next week, please try get in touch with your feedback, it all does get read and replied to!! take care until then and if i dont see you through the week i will see you through the window (yeah i don't understand it either) xx
the thing about remembering stuff so far back is your not sure what you actually see and what bits your brain automaticly fills in by itself, well thats how my childhood is remembered by me, it little bits n bobs, some of it great like going on holiday to Spain, even though it was on a coach which took about 28 hours if i remember correctly, i was 13 so not so much a baby, but a long time ago still (22 years to be precise, even saying that makes me cringe). i remember my mum bought me black converse boots because she said they were going to be in fashion soon (i only had to wait 20 years for them to come into fashion, its just a shame i don't have them any more coz i could be one cool mother fucker and tell everyone how i am 20 years ahead of style!! take note GOK)
The year was 1998 and life wasnt that bad if you knew how to get what you want. by this i mean if i wanted something i went and stole it from the shops, i wasnt a stranger to having a party with my best friend Eileen, we used to go to Woolworths in Peckham and basically nick everything we needed for a party, including party poppers, toys, sweets and anything else we see fit to take. it was a laugh and only my cousin Jamie ever got caught nicking a torch from Woolworths and he was 2 years younger than me so he just put on the waterworks and they let him go, even saying he can keep the torch..result.
So on this holiday was My cousins Steven, Jamie, my Mum and the Bloke she was cheating on her boyfriend with Lesley, i fucking hated Lesley but i have to admit he knew how to bribe me, he would give me £5 and tell me to fuck off as he wanted to spend some time with my Mum, now seeing as he has given me money i was only willing to do as
i was told. (i remember being about 11 and having to go to a pub in Havil street and they had the original Mario Brothers, he gave me enough money over the months of going there to clock the whole fucking game)
Lesley used to have all these cockney mannerisms and sayings that guaranteed that i would think he was a knob, but like i said he knew his way round a bribe & used to buy me stuff all the time to impress my mum, this particular bribe was a holiday for my 13th birthday and who was i to say No? i was taught to respect your elders, well whilst they are saying or doing something that's in your own benefit. His favourite saying seemed to be "Think about it" which he added to the end of any sentence where he was giving you any sort of Life advice or general "Lesley wisdom" as kids we took the piss out of him pretty hardcore, constantly repeating "Think about it" like parrots who only know one word.
whilst on this Free holiday we were told there would be a fancy dress competition for men to dress up as women, my cousins were only too happy to play dress up in womens clothes but me being a stush Jamaican from birth i thought it was very gay and not my thing. My Mum then put alot of pressure on me to enter as i was not getting it the spirit of things.
i basically had to wear my mums blouse, bra and skirt and wear make up, which felt wrong. we were ushered into a room where some guys were taking it far too seriously and the hotel owners were plying people with free alcohol to help them relax or groom them as i see now.
My biggest worry as a child must of been what shall i do tomorrow, how do you go back to that easy carefree way of thinking?
Saturday was the first proper night out i have had in ages, went to sum illegal rave which was quite exciting, where your in a disused office complex with pained walls covered in graffiti, listening to house music surrounded by people smoking & openly taking drugs, you buy tokens at the cloakroom for drinks..genius system lol
Then after the fact they have no air con and we couldn't breathe we went on to cable to another house night, this night was full of people i recognised from Bermondsey and Dj'ing about town, the highlight of my night was a girl i know who hasnt seen me for years coming up to me and said "sorry for staring but do you know who you look like?" I said NO..."Danny Blaze" hahaha i was just glad it wasnt Garry Glitter (yes i always mention his name it gives me jokes)
#BFGW
So Paddy gets a new car twice a year, he then takes it to the cemetery to show it off to his son who died 14 years prior in a car accident (No Irony there whatsoever), i did write some awful tweets last night about this incident which had me pissing myself laughing, but i will write a couple here but please remember its only a little joke.
"From paddy: Dear Dead son hope you like the new whip (car), its just like the one that run you over, but newer"
"Paddy is like the King of the Gypsies, if he knocks on your door & wants to fuck ur Gypo bride u have to let him #GypoRules"
So back to business.. Paddy seems to be a highly respected member of the gypsy community and featured on Danny Dyers deadliest men, so u no if Danny Dyer rates him, he must be Good, lol Paddy has over 70 Godchildren which makes me think he is somehow charging for this service, i mean why the fuck would you want to spend your life having to mind other peoples kids, maybe a couple i understand, ive got a God daughter, but i draw the line at 5, so 70 is just showing off or a lucrative business.
We still didn't get to find out the source of Paddy or any of the other "gentlemen" (see what i did there? i called em a nice name) incomes, i mean you can buy pegs in the pound shop and the most you pay for a bit of Lucky Heather is a fucking pound.
i did hear the words "scrap metal" & "tarmacking" mentioned but you would have to pave the M25 to be able to afford 2 new cars a year? well that or new cars cost £6.47 as ive never bought a car from the showroom.
We also got to meet violet who at 22 was an old bride, but looking at the state of her i reckon shes been Grabbed more times than the cordless microphone at a Garage rave, she was marrying some dude who didnt want to be shown on telly, i dont blame him, shes fucking butters. but she was brought up in a house and had a job, but gave up living in a house and her Job to live in a caravan next to a motorway, so we know shes got her head screwed on.. or not, i just think her mum was pleased to be getting rid of her, saying stuff like "if she tries to come back we wont have her, she has to work at the marriage", lets just hope violets anonymous husband dont beat her ah!
Just been told our comedy Big and Clever podcast has had over 5000 downloads on iTunes which is an amazing achievement seeing as it is totally unscripted & has no financial backing or plugging other than us plugging it on our Twitter & facebook, really hoping it leads to a successful stand up career & a radio show on a legal station in London. so if you haven't listened or downloaded it yet, come on what are you waiting for? the direct link is bellow and we are recording episode number 6 this coming Sunday at True mansions, if you want to raise any topics, send us Garry news, or any funny stories please do so as, its only done to entertain. (and the radio show, get rich, meet women, help with stand up, get groupies, get paid work and so forth lol)
http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/big-clever-truevip/id411049804
So do Try have a listen :-)
right lastly its V day next week and for all single crew it might aswell be American independence day for all the use it is, i did have some random ideas to ring all the nice resturants and book all the tables so no smarmy in love merchant can show how cool he is A. by having a girlfriend and B. that he managed to get a table lol. Think we all need to unite and ruin the days of all happy in love peoples. obviously this is all down to bitterness and twisted logic but all good fun in your mind as long as you don't actually try and ruin anyone's V day lol
So if you lot have got any anti V day plans i want you to share them with me so i can write about any good ones in next weeks blog
right so until next week, please try get in touch with your feedback, it all does get read and replied to!! take care until then and if i dont see you through the week i will see you through the window (yeah i don't understand it either) xx
Wednesday, 2 February 2011
Wednesday 2nd of febuary 2011 - the gypsy's curse
Welcome to part 419 of my big fat gypsy blog, its been 7 whole days since the last blog touched down on your fragile little heads like Garry Glitter at a Kids party its Been a very Exciting week or weak if we manage to touch on the dietary subject of ones much confused and often funny life that was the time had by me.. sound confusing? GOOD
I have to kick off this weeks blog with the goings on the world of Gypsy television, and i must say if your not watching this program then you need your head examined, its like watching the face of Garry Glitter as He got that phone call from PC world asking what his password was for his PC as they had managed to get it working and were checking all his files were in tact!!
This week we got to meet Martin Tom, the 16 year old boy with 2 first names (both shit) and hair like our Lord and saviour, Elvis A Presley.. yes this boy was a fountain of information, his insight into Gypsy ways were almost inspiring for the likes of a mere mortal like myself and made me want to achieve higher levels of enlightenment like our new hope for the future Martin Tom. He Moved out of his parents home at 16, well when i say moved out of home, he left their caravan and moved a spit away from them in his own skip on wheels he calls his own place, now his quite the little freckled Romeo and his advice on getting a kiss from a girl involves "Punching them" or twisting their arms until they "give in" which kinda opens my eyes to why they pick girls so young and here are my two suggestions.
1) 15 year old girls are not as strong as grown women, so are easier to physically restrain into getting a kiss or rape as i am brazenly calling it.
2) when the girls get over 18 the stress of life and having to live in a caravan on a site in the middle of nowhere takes its toll and they start to look haggard!
well that's my opinion, it may not be factual but its the one i'm going with at this moment in time.
earlier in the series it was pointed out very firmly that once a girl has been kissed or "grabbed" a they affectionately put it, then the girl has to Marry the boy.. thats it, simple tings!! but when they went to that event both Martin Tom and his Brother and His cousin (yeah i was taking about 1 boy) both said they "Grabbed" girls and got a Kiss (gypsy talk for rape..lol), so either they lied about Grabbing anyone or lied about "once a girls been grabbed you have to marry her"
so either way the lies are creeping in and cracks are starting to appear in the wholesome image we have of these gentle folk who supply our pegs, tell our futures in the crystal ball and Tarmac our driveways. i am truly devastated as i was hoping to convert to being a Gypsy as you pay no tax, build a yard wherever you see fit, you can "Grab" 18 year old Virgins without being questioned.. i mean who doesnt find that life exciting?
we also met the black sheep of the flock, Noreen who unlike the rest of the Thieving freckle-faced housewives had a real job, and she didnt sell pegs or "Lucky heather" (if you dont know what it is, its basically twigs that smell all right, not great, but they pick it in fields, wrap a bit of foil round it. offer you it in public. as you take it they demand a pound for their trouble). yes Noreen's real life job was as a Cake makers assistant, which includes making extravagant cakes for 16 year old gypsy brides who haven't cottoned on that being lonesome because your leaving your mums apron string will not happen, as you will be fighting off the sexual advances of her huspand every night and day for the rest of her natural life. Now not only does Noreen have a job but this girl can read and write which is apparently not a requirement for a gypsy women, so unfortuantly for Martin Tom the wife beating rapist in a red vest, Noreen is my new gypsy pin up!!
have to say i finally managed to hit over 600 followers on twitter, which has only taken since April last year to do, its a bit like an achievement, but only like one, its not actually one as its a social networking site and not a cure for being a Gypsy. had a few funny things i managed to tweet through ITV's take me out, so if you haven't joined the twitter revolution then get involved before we have mobile phones implanted in our heads (dragons den idea number 26), i stated on twitter about me not having a girlfriend yet with the following tweet: I see a down syndrome couple earlier, i thought "even he can get a bloody GF" saying that she wasn't much of a looker! now it was only a joke and again not a cry for help!!
Also this week Me & Keith recorded episode number 5 of the BIG AND CLEVER podcast, in this weeks podcast we discussed 1 night stands, thieving from Tesco, Zodiacs and Sainsbury's, how to get discount parking at the o2, Dancing On Ice (Chloe Madley i love you..sort of anyway haha), Garry Glitters Travel arrangements and loads more, so if you haven't listened to our podcast yet then you need to see why its been given 100% 5 star reviews and has made it to the number 1 spot twice now twice on itunes "new and noteworthy" chart. it really is a pleasure to record and all the great feedback is amazing (yeah i don't use that word very often).
Decided im going to do 2 bike challenges this year, as i only managed one last year.. had a word with Terry Marks and we are doing the London to Brighton and the Bikeathon again, we will be pestering people for sponsorship again and i will start my Bike training again soon by riding all over London knocking up 20 -30 mile trips complete with my little gay helmet that stops my brains falling out my bonce should i fall over, Also a bit of cardio work in the form of Badminton is on the cards, so if any of you lot fancy a game just let me no, its about £3-£5 each and i'm starting next week after work and on Saturdays that i'm free, the courts are Elephant, Camberwell & Sydenham so bare that in mind peoples!
Right thats me for now, if you reading this on facebook please note that my old blogs are viewable at: http://mrdannyblaze.blogspot.com/ and facebook again, so feel free to have a nosy if you have missed any.. i do appreciate any and all feedback good and bad, and remember they are just opinions, there is not point getting upset about what people think, it takes a lot to change peoples perceptions and people like me will always have an opinion, so try not be offended by what you read here!!
right lets close our eyes and pretend its summer already,,, right toodle pip and take care of yourself and try make the best of whatever situation, being down is over rated x
I have to kick off this weeks blog with the goings on the world of Gypsy television, and i must say if your not watching this program then you need your head examined, its like watching the face of Garry Glitter as He got that phone call from PC world asking what his password was for his PC as they had managed to get it working and were checking all his files were in tact!!
This week we got to meet Martin Tom, the 16 year old boy with 2 first names (both shit) and hair like our Lord and saviour, Elvis A Presley.. yes this boy was a fountain of information, his insight into Gypsy ways were almost inspiring for the likes of a mere mortal like myself and made me want to achieve higher levels of enlightenment like our new hope for the future Martin Tom. He Moved out of his parents home at 16, well when i say moved out of home, he left their caravan and moved a spit away from them in his own skip on wheels he calls his own place, now his quite the little freckled Romeo and his advice on getting a kiss from a girl involves "Punching them" or twisting their arms until they "give in" which kinda opens my eyes to why they pick girls so young and here are my two suggestions.
1) 15 year old girls are not as strong as grown women, so are easier to physically restrain into getting a kiss or rape as i am brazenly calling it.
2) when the girls get over 18 the stress of life and having to live in a caravan on a site in the middle of nowhere takes its toll and they start to look haggard!
well that's my opinion, it may not be factual but its the one i'm going with at this moment in time.
earlier in the series it was pointed out very firmly that once a girl has been kissed or "grabbed" a they affectionately put it, then the girl has to Marry the boy.. thats it, simple tings!! but when they went to that event both Martin Tom and his Brother and His cousin (yeah i was taking about 1 boy) both said they "Grabbed" girls and got a Kiss (gypsy talk for rape..lol), so either they lied about Grabbing anyone or lied about "once a girls been grabbed you have to marry her"
so either way the lies are creeping in and cracks are starting to appear in the wholesome image we have of these gentle folk who supply our pegs, tell our futures in the crystal ball and Tarmac our driveways. i am truly devastated as i was hoping to convert to being a Gypsy as you pay no tax, build a yard wherever you see fit, you can "Grab" 18 year old Virgins without being questioned.. i mean who doesnt find that life exciting?
we also met the black sheep of the flock, Noreen who unlike the rest of the Thieving freckle-faced housewives had a real job, and she didnt sell pegs or "Lucky heather" (if you dont know what it is, its basically twigs that smell all right, not great, but they pick it in fields, wrap a bit of foil round it. offer you it in public. as you take it they demand a pound for their trouble). yes Noreen's real life job was as a Cake makers assistant, which includes making extravagant cakes for 16 year old gypsy brides who haven't cottoned on that being lonesome because your leaving your mums apron string will not happen, as you will be fighting off the sexual advances of her huspand every night and day for the rest of her natural life. Now not only does Noreen have a job but this girl can read and write which is apparently not a requirement for a gypsy women, so unfortuantly for Martin Tom the wife beating rapist in a red vest, Noreen is my new gypsy pin up!!
have to say i finally managed to hit over 600 followers on twitter, which has only taken since April last year to do, its a bit like an achievement, but only like one, its not actually one as its a social networking site and not a cure for being a Gypsy. had a few funny things i managed to tweet through ITV's take me out, so if you haven't joined the twitter revolution then get involved before we have mobile phones implanted in our heads (dragons den idea number 26), i stated on twitter about me not having a girlfriend yet with the following tweet: I see a down syndrome couple earlier, i thought "even he can get a bloody GF" saying that she wasn't much of a looker! now it was only a joke and again not a cry for help!!
Also this week Me & Keith recorded episode number 5 of the BIG AND CLEVER podcast, in this weeks podcast we discussed 1 night stands, thieving from Tesco, Zodiacs and Sainsbury's, how to get discount parking at the o2, Dancing On Ice (Chloe Madley i love you..sort of anyway haha), Garry Glitters Travel arrangements and loads more, so if you haven't listened to our podcast yet then you need to see why its been given 100% 5 star reviews and has made it to the number 1 spot twice now twice on itunes "new and noteworthy" chart. it really is a pleasure to record and all the great feedback is amazing (yeah i don't use that word very often).
Decided im going to do 2 bike challenges this year, as i only managed one last year.. had a word with Terry Marks and we are doing the London to Brighton and the Bikeathon again, we will be pestering people for sponsorship again and i will start my Bike training again soon by riding all over London knocking up 20 -30 mile trips complete with my little gay helmet that stops my brains falling out my bonce should i fall over, Also a bit of cardio work in the form of Badminton is on the cards, so if any of you lot fancy a game just let me no, its about £3-£5 each and i'm starting next week after work and on Saturdays that i'm free, the courts are Elephant, Camberwell & Sydenham so bare that in mind peoples!
Right thats me for now, if you reading this on facebook please note that my old blogs are viewable at: http://mrdannyblaze.blogspot.com/ and facebook again, so feel free to have a nosy if you have missed any.. i do appreciate any and all feedback good and bad, and remember they are just opinions, there is not point getting upset about what people think, it takes a lot to change peoples perceptions and people like me will always have an opinion, so try not be offended by what you read here!!
right lets close our eyes and pretend its summer already,,, right toodle pip and take care of yourself and try make the best of whatever situation, being down is over rated x
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
26th jan 2011 - still on gypo hype
good day to you lot, welcome to another exciting episode of loose women.. its not but it conjurers up the idea its either porn or something worth reading about. which will have to be decided by the following taps of the key and you opinion. so we had another episode of MY BIG FAT GYPSY WEDDING last night, and i have to show my disappointment at not seeing any GRABBING at all, i feel robbed, i been looking forward all week to picking up some hits n tips as well as the location of the car park in episode 1 that i still haven't found.
this week was about two things mainly, some deluded 17 year old Jordan wannabe who had a dress quoted in today's Guardian newspaper as weighing 20 stone, which from the looks of her is more than 5 stone heavier than she is, complete with about £80 worth of Duracell batteries what does power the masses of fairy lights hidden in the dress for her "surprise revealing" on her first dance which was to UB40's "red red wine" (*note to this poor girl.. u can request whatever song you want for your "first dance", i can recommend something slow, such as Shania Twain - You're Still the One) im sure its one of the most popular songs in the land for weddings. (i used to really want WAYNE WONDERS - NO LETTING GO as my wedding song, but seeing as ive not actually managed to drag any poor girl up the isle, i think i may be able to get a hover car to the church by the time i actually find "the one" and by ONE i mean anyone..lol)
so back to this bloody gypo wedding.. basically the girl looked like a cross between a UFO and a meringue once the lights have been switched off to show a PIMPED OUT dress complete with moving butterfly wings. Now i can see why someone would Go mad buying a nice dress and that but then they totally loose interest when it comes to the venue for holding the reception or having any sort of dress restrictions for guests, i mean i kept seeing people wearing tracksuits, leggings and generally making no effort as a guest at the weddings we been shown so far. who turns up to a wedding in a fucking tracksuit? i would tell them to piss off and think they was being disrespectful.
as compelling as this series is, i think we are only being shown the better class of travellers as i know from first hand experience that they are not as friendly as we are being led to believe, it got a bit closer to the real deal when Dale Farm was shown, where we got to meet 6 & 8 year old children who were having spray tans (i see spray tans being offered in a tent at Dagenham market for about £15, who the fuck goes to the Market for a spray tan? i feel like ive only just got to planet earth and still finding peoples behaviour a bit odd), these kids were a lot more tatty n rough around the edges than last weeks "gypsy princesses", who by comparison weren't that bad and had even me thinking that i might be able to be convinced to marry one of the fuckers, but these little dodgy characters had me cringing as they got covered in make up complete with "beauty spot", but is wasn't until after the kids had there Conformation that i really felt social services need to get in there and say something about tiny kids wearing batty riders, and vest tops usually reserved for pole dancers and prostitutes, but each to their own i suppose. lol
in the trailer for next week it showed that Grabbing is back on the menu, so i shall be watching strictly for that purpose!!
yesterday i wrote a funny and what i thought witty joke about Jedward..as follows...Jedward, i cant tell them 2 apart..which one is the Gay one? >> about 4 hours later some fans of Jedward started twittering me saying how upset they was at me, and i was being homophobic and didn't know them, i cant tell you how much i laughed at this, it really did brighten up my evening knowing somewhere out there i pissed off some die hard Jedward fans. my life is complete.
right now this podcast, i am pleased to say it got to number 1 in the iTunes "new and noteworthy" chart yesterday, its going really well and im really looking forward to recording number 5 this coming Monday, so if you have an iPhone or an iTunes account please do take the time to download it and have a sneaky listen, i would be most grateful if you even managed to write a review "hint hint"..here is the link again in case you didn't get it the first 100 times.
http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/big-clever-truevip/id411049804
in life failure is not an option, but its a way out for the weak and lazy, its better to try and decide its not for you rather than sit in your house talking about what you would do if you had this and that, i know opportunities dont really knock at your door as the program says "opportunity knocks"..it dont, but i am willing to put my hand to most things but if something isnt for me than i probably wont waste my time with it. i feel that doing things just to please others will eventually lead to unhappyness, its ok to be selfish as long as you get the balance right in the end. this isnt a dig and at anyone but just a state of mind.
right gonna cut it there and go do something productive, remember positive attitudes can make positive things happen, January is always a bad moth seeing as most people are gonna still be paying for Christmas and wont get back on their feet till February and the weather isnt really helping, so bare that in mind and know that summer will be here before you know it x
be good and think at least i don't live in a caravan..and if u do life in a caravan..get down the fucking council its 2011 for fuck sake
this week was about two things mainly, some deluded 17 year old Jordan wannabe who had a dress quoted in today's Guardian newspaper as weighing 20 stone, which from the looks of her is more than 5 stone heavier than she is, complete with about £80 worth of Duracell batteries what does power the masses of fairy lights hidden in the dress for her "surprise revealing" on her first dance which was to UB40's "red red wine" (*note to this poor girl.. u can request whatever song you want for your "first dance", i can recommend something slow, such as Shania Twain - You're Still the One) im sure its one of the most popular songs in the land for weddings. (i used to really want WAYNE WONDERS - NO LETTING GO as my wedding song, but seeing as ive not actually managed to drag any poor girl up the isle, i think i may be able to get a hover car to the church by the time i actually find "the one" and by ONE i mean anyone..lol)
so back to this bloody gypo wedding.. basically the girl looked like a cross between a UFO and a meringue once the lights have been switched off to show a PIMPED OUT dress complete with moving butterfly wings. Now i can see why someone would Go mad buying a nice dress and that but then they totally loose interest when it comes to the venue for holding the reception or having any sort of dress restrictions for guests, i mean i kept seeing people wearing tracksuits, leggings and generally making no effort as a guest at the weddings we been shown so far. who turns up to a wedding in a fucking tracksuit? i would tell them to piss off and think they was being disrespectful.
as compelling as this series is, i think we are only being shown the better class of travellers as i know from first hand experience that they are not as friendly as we are being led to believe, it got a bit closer to the real deal when Dale Farm was shown, where we got to meet 6 & 8 year old children who were having spray tans (i see spray tans being offered in a tent at Dagenham market for about £15, who the fuck goes to the Market for a spray tan? i feel like ive only just got to planet earth and still finding peoples behaviour a bit odd), these kids were a lot more tatty n rough around the edges than last weeks "gypsy princesses", who by comparison weren't that bad and had even me thinking that i might be able to be convinced to marry one of the fuckers, but these little dodgy characters had me cringing as they got covered in make up complete with "beauty spot", but is wasn't until after the kids had there Conformation that i really felt social services need to get in there and say something about tiny kids wearing batty riders, and vest tops usually reserved for pole dancers and prostitutes, but each to their own i suppose. lol
in the trailer for next week it showed that Grabbing is back on the menu, so i shall be watching strictly for that purpose!!
yesterday i wrote a funny and what i thought witty joke about Jedward..as follows...Jedward, i cant tell them 2 apart..which one is the Gay one? >> about 4 hours later some fans of Jedward started twittering me saying how upset they was at me, and i was being homophobic and didn't know them, i cant tell you how much i laughed at this, it really did brighten up my evening knowing somewhere out there i pissed off some die hard Jedward fans. my life is complete.
right now this podcast, i am pleased to say it got to number 1 in the iTunes "new and noteworthy" chart yesterday, its going really well and im really looking forward to recording number 5 this coming Monday, so if you have an iPhone or an iTunes account please do take the time to download it and have a sneaky listen, i would be most grateful if you even managed to write a review "hint hint"..here is the link again in case you didn't get it the first 100 times.
http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/big-clever-truevip/id411049804
in life failure is not an option, but its a way out for the weak and lazy, its better to try and decide its not for you rather than sit in your house talking about what you would do if you had this and that, i know opportunities dont really knock at your door as the program says "opportunity knocks"..it dont, but i am willing to put my hand to most things but if something isnt for me than i probably wont waste my time with it. i feel that doing things just to please others will eventually lead to unhappyness, its ok to be selfish as long as you get the balance right in the end. this isnt a dig and at anyone but just a state of mind.
right gonna cut it there and go do something productive, remember positive attitudes can make positive things happen, January is always a bad moth seeing as most people are gonna still be paying for Christmas and wont get back on their feet till February and the weather isnt really helping, so bare that in mind and know that summer will be here before you know it x
be good and think at least i don't live in a caravan..and if u do life in a caravan..get down the fucking council its 2011 for fuck sake
21st jan 2011 - my big fat gypsy blog
hey hey hey... the weekend has finally landed peoples, and mine has nothing planned.. i have gave some serious thought to spending the weekend GRABBING, which im looking into as my new pastime. and i shall be playing the DVD of MY BIG FAT GYPSY WEDDING in court as my defence, and claiming a Romany way of life states that "i may approach an unscandalised girl and GRAB her with the intention of KISSING her and making her my future wife"
Some of you may be reading this thinking that it sounds awfully alot like sexual assault or attempted rape and for those amongst us with a moral compass that points NORTH and not to the nearest pub/drug dealer would be correct, but this is not us we are talking about. of course i am talking about the channel 4 program MY BIG FAT GYPSY WEDDING broadcast on TV this week.
We got to meet a colourful bunch of people and by colourful i do mean the dresses (most of them were highlighter pen pink or had fairly lights which made the girls look like a cross between prostitute brides and the Christmas fairy that goes on top of the Christmas tree), The assumption here is that they are giving the girls the "BEST DAY OF THEIR LIVES" which to me sounds depressing because its all downhill from then. We can see that they are spending absolutely thousands on dresses, not so much on everything else, which brings me to ask the question... how are they paying for these fucking things??? not once did i hear how anybody earns a living on this program, not even a hint which makes me very suspicious.
im not going to assume they are in receipt of benefits, i will probably think at least some of them are though, as with any group of people. so with this in mind i am asking if anyone wants there DRIVE WAY sorted out as i have this fucking ridiculous dress to pay for, lol, failing that i have pegs, lots of lovely pegs.
i can say with authority though, none of the gypsy's i have encountered have shown any indication of spending any money on anything other than alcohol.. and i should know.
when i was 15 i met my kids mum and was told i wasn't to see her again as my mum thought she wasn't very nice (she was right in the end lol), well my mum said "you do as i say or you move out" needless to say thats the day i moved out of my mums house. at the time my mum was drinking heavily and it was actually a relief to leave, it was about this time she met (in the park drinking) a, well i was going to call him a Man but frankly he was an embarrassment of a human being (he looked like the Irish equivalent to RAB C NESBIT, he used to wear a suit and a T shirt with trainers, the only thing missing was the bandage on the head). he moved into my mums straight away and brought his two daughters with him, they were only about 10 and 11 i think. i didnt feel any hate towards them as they were only children and didnt really know any better, even when i heard one of them tell my mum to "FUCK OFF" this was a total shock to me, as if i had even told my mum No she would of put me in a coma. but here was this 10 year old telling my mum to FUCK OFF, it was quite a shock to watch my mum take that sort of thing so lightly.
the house then become a shithole almost over night, dont get me wrong it wasnt a palace before, but it was basic and clean like "Kwick Save No Frills Brand", i went round and they would be drinking out of washed our coffee jars and there would be loads of people about who i didnt know, or really want to know.. they were scum. these are the people you see drinking Tenants strong larger on the park benches, i couldn't believe MY MUM was was even talking to these kind of people, let alone living with one.
it wasn't long before he Hit my mum, and i spoke to her about what she wanted to do, she said they were both drunk and it was a one off, i offered to go and see him (to do what im not sure, i was 15 and he was a 40 year old man). it was about this time that my girlfriend got pregnant, i was still 15, i was at school and working weekends as a trainee chef, so i kinda had my hands full living in Brixton's Myatts field estate trying to keep my sanity with the news that i was going to be a Dad at 16. but with most things that present themselves in my life i decided to take this responsibility head on, and even though cracks had appeared in our relationship i thought, im not going to run away from this and i will do the best by my child..
i used to pop in on my mum when i could but lets face it, i was the child with a kid on the way and she was supposed to be an adult, i had my own family to look after..
a few years into my mums relationship he has to go to a funeral in Ireland and was involved in a despite with another family and was decapitated, now without sounding evil, it was the best thing that could of happend for my mum as she wasn't going to get away from him any other way.
during the time they were together we went for a meal in the Indian restaurant next door to camberwell police station, this was my mums way of treating me and my kids mum.
so we sat down and was told to order whatever we wanted, it was at this point i could smell a rat, and im not talking about the food.. during the meal He kept trying to antagonise the waiters with various tit bits of information and comments such as (him) you ok? (waiter) yes sir (him) you married? (waiter) yes sir (him) wheres your wife now? (waiter) she will be in bed now sir (him) who with?
now stuff like that isnt very nice, although it is quite funny in an evil way.. Indian restaurant staff are not targets for any sort of abuse in my eyes as they are usually very placid and polite.. So when the end of the meal comes i was told that me and my kids mum should leave as nobody was going to be paying the bill, it was kind of funny and i have walked out of restaurants since without paying, but inviting somebody out for a meal then running out is another story altogether.
i know im kind of generalising gypsy's but there are more than one type, pikey's and gypsy's, i haven't worked out whos who on this TV program yet lol.
Remember if you have any feedback on my blogs/podcasts please feel free to message me, i do always try and message back.. the podcasts are now in the ITunes top 100 comedy podcasts and if you haven't downloaded at least one of them, what have u been doing? its really simple just click on this link and it will take u to iTunes
http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/big-clever-truevip/id411049804
so until next time, be very good or very very bad.. this weekend im off until Tuesday so Grabbing will feature heavily in my weekends activities lol
Some of you may be reading this thinking that it sounds awfully alot like sexual assault or attempted rape and for those amongst us with a moral compass that points NORTH and not to the nearest pub/drug dealer would be correct, but this is not us we are talking about. of course i am talking about the channel 4 program MY BIG FAT GYPSY WEDDING broadcast on TV this week.
We got to meet a colourful bunch of people and by colourful i do mean the dresses (most of them were highlighter pen pink or had fairly lights which made the girls look like a cross between prostitute brides and the Christmas fairy that goes on top of the Christmas tree), The assumption here is that they are giving the girls the "BEST DAY OF THEIR LIVES" which to me sounds depressing because its all downhill from then. We can see that they are spending absolutely thousands on dresses, not so much on everything else, which brings me to ask the question... how are they paying for these fucking things??? not once did i hear how anybody earns a living on this program, not even a hint which makes me very suspicious.
im not going to assume they are in receipt of benefits, i will probably think at least some of them are though, as with any group of people. so with this in mind i am asking if anyone wants there DRIVE WAY sorted out as i have this fucking ridiculous dress to pay for, lol, failing that i have pegs, lots of lovely pegs.
i can say with authority though, none of the gypsy's i have encountered have shown any indication of spending any money on anything other than alcohol.. and i should know.
when i was 15 i met my kids mum and was told i wasn't to see her again as my mum thought she wasn't very nice (she was right in the end lol), well my mum said "you do as i say or you move out" needless to say thats the day i moved out of my mums house. at the time my mum was drinking heavily and it was actually a relief to leave, it was about this time she met (in the park drinking) a, well i was going to call him a Man but frankly he was an embarrassment of a human being (he looked like the Irish equivalent to RAB C NESBIT, he used to wear a suit and a T shirt with trainers, the only thing missing was the bandage on the head). he moved into my mums straight away and brought his two daughters with him, they were only about 10 and 11 i think. i didnt feel any hate towards them as they were only children and didnt really know any better, even when i heard one of them tell my mum to "FUCK OFF" this was a total shock to me, as if i had even told my mum No she would of put me in a coma. but here was this 10 year old telling my mum to FUCK OFF, it was quite a shock to watch my mum take that sort of thing so lightly.
the house then become a shithole almost over night, dont get me wrong it wasnt a palace before, but it was basic and clean like "Kwick Save No Frills Brand", i went round and they would be drinking out of washed our coffee jars and there would be loads of people about who i didnt know, or really want to know.. they were scum. these are the people you see drinking Tenants strong larger on the park benches, i couldn't believe MY MUM was was even talking to these kind of people, let alone living with one.
it wasn't long before he Hit my mum, and i spoke to her about what she wanted to do, she said they were both drunk and it was a one off, i offered to go and see him (to do what im not sure, i was 15 and he was a 40 year old man). it was about this time that my girlfriend got pregnant, i was still 15, i was at school and working weekends as a trainee chef, so i kinda had my hands full living in Brixton's Myatts field estate trying to keep my sanity with the news that i was going to be a Dad at 16. but with most things that present themselves in my life i decided to take this responsibility head on, and even though cracks had appeared in our relationship i thought, im not going to run away from this and i will do the best by my child..
i used to pop in on my mum when i could but lets face it, i was the child with a kid on the way and she was supposed to be an adult, i had my own family to look after..
a few years into my mums relationship he has to go to a funeral in Ireland and was involved in a despite with another family and was decapitated, now without sounding evil, it was the best thing that could of happend for my mum as she wasn't going to get away from him any other way.
during the time they were together we went for a meal in the Indian restaurant next door to camberwell police station, this was my mums way of treating me and my kids mum.
so we sat down and was told to order whatever we wanted, it was at this point i could smell a rat, and im not talking about the food.. during the meal He kept trying to antagonise the waiters with various tit bits of information and comments such as (him) you ok? (waiter) yes sir (him) you married? (waiter) yes sir (him) wheres your wife now? (waiter) she will be in bed now sir (him) who with?
now stuff like that isnt very nice, although it is quite funny in an evil way.. Indian restaurant staff are not targets for any sort of abuse in my eyes as they are usually very placid and polite.. So when the end of the meal comes i was told that me and my kids mum should leave as nobody was going to be paying the bill, it was kind of funny and i have walked out of restaurants since without paying, but inviting somebody out for a meal then running out is another story altogether.
i know im kind of generalising gypsy's but there are more than one type, pikey's and gypsy's, i haven't worked out whos who on this TV program yet lol.
Remember if you have any feedback on my blogs/podcasts please feel free to message me, i do always try and message back.. the podcasts are now in the ITunes top 100 comedy podcasts and if you haven't downloaded at least one of them, what have u been doing? its really simple just click on this link and it will take u to iTunes
http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/big-clever-truevip/id411049804
so until next time, be very good or very very bad.. this weekend im off until Tuesday so Grabbing will feature heavily in my weekends activities lol
12th jan garage
Good aftermorningofnight depending on when your actually bothering to read this shizzle, welcome to this ere blog that i am writing to tell you whats what in the world of cats and dogs..its not but if your easily swayed by dangling a cute puppy in front of you then i shall continue with the blackmail and tell you from the start i would like some feedback on these blogs and that if you dont download my podcast from i tunes (big and clever) i will randomly select the cutest kittens & puppies to go in a brown potato sack, and throw the sack in the thames directly off tower bridge, which so happens to be my favourite spot in london, dunno why other than its such a nice bridge and i been in the museum bit above about 4 times, as well as taking various dates there over the many years i have been alive in this big and clever world.
been getting in a bit of tournament poker lately, sunday i played in one at the mint casino and when we got down to the last 4 players, someone suggested we split the money, being in second place at the time i thought "why not", i was only gonna win £280 if we played it out and i actually won second place, and seeing as their was 3 other players to consider, i thought it not bad odds taking £250... sweetshop here i come!!
since the whole should i shouldn't i, with the Cambridge diet, i decided.. still not 100% convinced as i treat anything and everything with total and utter suspicion.. well i got a personal trainer who has allocated what i should eat and treats me to being able to do some boxing in the gym which includes hitting him, which is nice when you have had a stressful day, then the next day you get to ache all over for no extra money which is nice if you kinky like that..
since my birthday in october i have been working and doing a honest days work during the day and waking up before that smug cunt Jeremy kyle pops his face on my telly box, its getting on the bus with the poor people and those frightened of the poor people, i however dont fall into either category, i have had to disregard any manners i have to get on the bus in the right order that i arrived at the bus stop, the people who get the bus just seem to push their way to the front even if they have just arrived and the cue is long, but i just get on in the order i arrived not before nor after, if anyone says anything they get greeted with a big "fuck off" and a threat of having me dance on their face to the song from Disneys Little mermaid _-Under the sea, which holds fond memories from my daughter as a baby playing the video tape so much it actually broke, thats before she filled our video up with toast she decided she didnt want to eat.. (just for the record, i dont make threats of violence, but i do find myself snapping and could quite possibly off the culprit)
its all part of the actually growing up and being stable, because as some of you may not know being a DJ is a great job when its going well and plenty of money when the work comes in.. but since the death of vinyl so many wannabe DJ's have come along who just download the music and offer to do bookings for free or petrol money.. this then affects work for DJ's who have built up a decent reputation and paid out thousands for songs, which support the people who make it and they keep making it, keeping the scene alive.
so what we have now? most decent producers dont make much money from their music now which then makes some of them "give up" or move on to other types of music, the scene then becomes stale as there isnt enough new decent music to keep the scene buzzing.
now we got clubs that aint busy, playing every type of music because they dont know whats gonna get people in.. its a sad time for clubbing and music.. and i know some of you will say that Garage is coming back and there were loads of decent & busy raves over christmas and new year, but yes.. thats a couple. its not a scene.
right peeps n bobs.. thats it for this weeks moaning.. please if you do have any thoughts about my blogs/podcasts please take the time to email me back i do love reading them and all ways try reply, if you dont wanna reply on facebook you can reply directly to my email: mrdblaze@hotmail.com
also feel free to add me on twitter @Danny_Blaze_uk
be good and take care!! x x
been getting in a bit of tournament poker lately, sunday i played in one at the mint casino and when we got down to the last 4 players, someone suggested we split the money, being in second place at the time i thought "why not", i was only gonna win £280 if we played it out and i actually won second place, and seeing as their was 3 other players to consider, i thought it not bad odds taking £250... sweetshop here i come!!
since the whole should i shouldn't i, with the Cambridge diet, i decided.. still not 100% convinced as i treat anything and everything with total and utter suspicion.. well i got a personal trainer who has allocated what i should eat and treats me to being able to do some boxing in the gym which includes hitting him, which is nice when you have had a stressful day, then the next day you get to ache all over for no extra money which is nice if you kinky like that..
since my birthday in october i have been working and doing a honest days work during the day and waking up before that smug cunt Jeremy kyle pops his face on my telly box, its getting on the bus with the poor people and those frightened of the poor people, i however dont fall into either category, i have had to disregard any manners i have to get on the bus in the right order that i arrived at the bus stop, the people who get the bus just seem to push their way to the front even if they have just arrived and the cue is long, but i just get on in the order i arrived not before nor after, if anyone says anything they get greeted with a big "fuck off" and a threat of having me dance on their face to the song from Disneys Little mermaid _-Under the sea, which holds fond memories from my daughter as a baby playing the video tape so much it actually broke, thats before she filled our video up with toast she decided she didnt want to eat.. (just for the record, i dont make threats of violence, but i do find myself snapping and could quite possibly off the culprit)
its all part of the actually growing up and being stable, because as some of you may not know being a DJ is a great job when its going well and plenty of money when the work comes in.. but since the death of vinyl so many wannabe DJ's have come along who just download the music and offer to do bookings for free or petrol money.. this then affects work for DJ's who have built up a decent reputation and paid out thousands for songs, which support the people who make it and they keep making it, keeping the scene alive.
so what we have now? most decent producers dont make much money from their music now which then makes some of them "give up" or move on to other types of music, the scene then becomes stale as there isnt enough new decent music to keep the scene buzzing.
now we got clubs that aint busy, playing every type of music because they dont know whats gonna get people in.. its a sad time for clubbing and music.. and i know some of you will say that Garage is coming back and there were loads of decent & busy raves over christmas and new year, but yes.. thats a couple. its not a scene.
right peeps n bobs.. thats it for this weeks moaning.. please if you do have any thoughts about my blogs/podcasts please take the time to email me back i do love reading them and all ways try reply, if you dont wanna reply on facebook you can reply directly to my email: mrdblaze@hotmail.com
also feel free to add me on twitter @Danny_Blaze_uk
be good and take care!! x x
re start 6th jan 2011
welcome peoples, finally found time to re start doing my Blogs... been up to loads good and baddd..
so now the snow has settled and melted from winter 2010 we look forward to the future of 2011, this is the time when everyone says they are going to have a better yeah and all that old shite, but remember..you can only change things by changing things, all the talking and facebook status's in the world aren't going to make you have a better year, day or 5 minutes.
For true happiness in life i think you may have to adopt the attitude of the three wise monkeys (look, hear and see now evil), i know it sounds off key but if your like me and you spend countless hours worrying about things that haven't even happened yet, then you set yourself up to be disappointed at every turn..or relieved when somebody lets you down because you expect them to anyway. its not great to look at life this way but you get to see things exactly how they are, kinda like waking up from being in the matrix.
Some people go through life relying on others and never standing on there own feet, this comes down to insecurity in their own abilities and not wanting to try and fail, they just dont have the character to except that kind of defeat.
But what i say is try your hand at anything you want, from sky diving to learning to knit.. my phobias as a child were being worried that nobody likes me. i kind of had the same issue as i got older, but it wasnt until i realised i was on my own and dealing with everything life threw at me, that i could see that i didnt actually care.
i know your wondering why im going on about this now, but its to do with changing you life for the better.. since my last blogs i decided that everything that i didnt like about my life could be sorted by facing things and having routine in my life.. i decided i needed a job to have a reason to get up in the morning. and what i have noticed is that when your body has routine it works a lot better, so with this also in mind i decided to get a personal trainer and have a diet plan written for me, so the long term plan is change eating habits for life and be under pressure to go gym even when im not in the mood..
I been asked how my comedy stuff is coming along, i wrote some material and was going to west end every Tuesday in December to practice in front of an audience. the hardest thing about doing stand up is remembering your jokes and the order you wanna tell them in, and they best way to do that is practise, something that i seem unable to do when im on my own, i feel so stupid looking in the mirror saying my jokes to myself and would conjure up thoughts of mental illness lol
so anyway's it got to the big night of my first paid GIG and i was asked to be there early and i was super nervous, and i was the first comic on.. my first joke bombed, then my second one.. i remember thinking this is not going well, then i was heckled my some guy and i tore into him and everyone laughed, so off the back on that confidence i just told my most offensive jokes and everyone was laughing, so i stayed on for another 5 minutes and thought i would finish whilst it was still going really well.. everyone was clapping which was a wicked buzz, better than any drugs ive ever had.
i was in Bromley about a week later and a big black guy walked right up to me and said "its you from the other night" now on hearing this i started to think he might of been the guy i was insulting.. i thought about denying it but figured it might not be a good idea in the long run, so i said "yep" waiting for the punch in the face, until he put out his hand and said he really likes my work and thought i was funny, which was a major relief.. then the sense on achievement came over me and i decided that i should probably do a professional comedy course and peruse it as a potential carer.. so in feb i will do the course and try do this comedy thing properly.
still on the comedy note, me and a friend called keith decided to record a comedy/banter podcast, its currently up in the i tunes top 20 (new and noteworthy) chart, this morning it was at number 4 which is quite an achievement seeing as we have only recorded 2 episodes, we will be recording them every 2 weeks for FREE download on itunes, as a massive favour i am asking as many of you as possible to download the podcast & try write a quick review, even if its 2 words, it all helps.. my long term goal with the pod-cast is to get a radio show on a legal radio station as it keiths goal, and i want to use this time to come up with new material for stand up, so it all goes in hand pretty much.
the pod-cast is called "Big and clever" and its posted up by "True Vip" all help is muchly appreciated.
http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/big-clever-truevip/id411049804?ign-mpt=uo%3D4
if you have any topics or Garry news for the pod-cast please get in touch via email, twitter, smoke signal, facebook..well you get the idea.
right that's this weeks blog, to be honest i could go on for about another hour, but i dont think you got the time to read about what i been up to.. there really is loads..
until next weeks blog peoples, take care and if you are looking to change 2011, get off your arse and do it!!
please remember to drop your feedback too :-)
so now the snow has settled and melted from winter 2010 we look forward to the future of 2011, this is the time when everyone says they are going to have a better yeah and all that old shite, but remember..you can only change things by changing things, all the talking and facebook status's in the world aren't going to make you have a better year, day or 5 minutes.
For true happiness in life i think you may have to adopt the attitude of the three wise monkeys (look, hear and see now evil), i know it sounds off key but if your like me and you spend countless hours worrying about things that haven't even happened yet, then you set yourself up to be disappointed at every turn..or relieved when somebody lets you down because you expect them to anyway. its not great to look at life this way but you get to see things exactly how they are, kinda like waking up from being in the matrix.
Some people go through life relying on others and never standing on there own feet, this comes down to insecurity in their own abilities and not wanting to try and fail, they just dont have the character to except that kind of defeat.
But what i say is try your hand at anything you want, from sky diving to learning to knit.. my phobias as a child were being worried that nobody likes me. i kind of had the same issue as i got older, but it wasnt until i realised i was on my own and dealing with everything life threw at me, that i could see that i didnt actually care.
i know your wondering why im going on about this now, but its to do with changing you life for the better.. since my last blogs i decided that everything that i didnt like about my life could be sorted by facing things and having routine in my life.. i decided i needed a job to have a reason to get up in the morning. and what i have noticed is that when your body has routine it works a lot better, so with this also in mind i decided to get a personal trainer and have a diet plan written for me, so the long term plan is change eating habits for life and be under pressure to go gym even when im not in the mood..
I been asked how my comedy stuff is coming along, i wrote some material and was going to west end every Tuesday in December to practice in front of an audience. the hardest thing about doing stand up is remembering your jokes and the order you wanna tell them in, and they best way to do that is practise, something that i seem unable to do when im on my own, i feel so stupid looking in the mirror saying my jokes to myself and would conjure up thoughts of mental illness lol
so anyway's it got to the big night of my first paid GIG and i was asked to be there early and i was super nervous, and i was the first comic on.. my first joke bombed, then my second one.. i remember thinking this is not going well, then i was heckled my some guy and i tore into him and everyone laughed, so off the back on that confidence i just told my most offensive jokes and everyone was laughing, so i stayed on for another 5 minutes and thought i would finish whilst it was still going really well.. everyone was clapping which was a wicked buzz, better than any drugs ive ever had.
i was in Bromley about a week later and a big black guy walked right up to me and said "its you from the other night" now on hearing this i started to think he might of been the guy i was insulting.. i thought about denying it but figured it might not be a good idea in the long run, so i said "yep" waiting for the punch in the face, until he put out his hand and said he really likes my work and thought i was funny, which was a major relief.. then the sense on achievement came over me and i decided that i should probably do a professional comedy course and peruse it as a potential carer.. so in feb i will do the course and try do this comedy thing properly.
still on the comedy note, me and a friend called keith decided to record a comedy/banter podcast, its currently up in the i tunes top 20 (new and noteworthy) chart, this morning it was at number 4 which is quite an achievement seeing as we have only recorded 2 episodes, we will be recording them every 2 weeks for FREE download on itunes, as a massive favour i am asking as many of you as possible to download the podcast & try write a quick review, even if its 2 words, it all helps.. my long term goal with the pod-cast is to get a radio show on a legal radio station as it keiths goal, and i want to use this time to come up with new material for stand up, so it all goes in hand pretty much.
the pod-cast is called "Big and clever" and its posted up by "True Vip" all help is muchly appreciated.
http://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/big-clever-truevip/id411049804?ign-mpt=uo%3D4
if you have any topics or Garry news for the pod-cast please get in touch via email, twitter, smoke signal, facebook..well you get the idea.
right that's this weeks blog, to be honest i could go on for about another hour, but i dont think you got the time to read about what i been up to.. there really is loads..
until next weeks blog peoples, take care and if you are looking to change 2011, get off your arse and do it!!
please remember to drop your feedback too :-)
Wednesday, 14 July 2010
14th july 2010 1extreme 2 the other
So the weathers gone from one extreme to another last few days, so if you had all your shorts and t shirts washed, ironed and ready to go then like me you will be thinking what a fucking waste of time that was. I am going to carry on last week’s topic I think regarding one extreme to the other and the drug topic which a few of you lot found to be quite similar to your own experiences. Remember I am not bragging or encouraging anyone to take drugs because apart from being expensive they can ruin you lives and the lives of others around you.
After discovering pills at about 21/ 22 years old I was living in brockley house on east street, it was a one bedroom flat we rented of a girl called Amanda who I hated because she came across as a bully, she did ultimately let us stay there so I cant really say anything bad about her. Whilst living there I had no income and things were super tight, there are low points in my life that I remember and a couple of them were whilst living there, such as going to the shop with about 40p in pennies to buy a chocolate bar and it felt like a tramp paying for my twirl completely in coppers, but my addiction and craving for chocolate was so strong that the shame was worth the reward of the intense velvet flavored bar. Another low point which you may think is me over reacting was cooking a sausage stir fry. Now you may think there’s nothing wrong with putting sausages and rice together in a wok and knocking up an English twist to an ancient Chinese dish that’s been around since time began, other than the fact I don’t like sausages. But being poor the choices you get in life are slimmer than a supermodel with and eating disorder.
It’s amazing how your financial situation can motivate you into things that you might otherwise consider to be not your thing or how good something tastes when you haven’t eaten for that day, even if the said meal is something you hate.
At that time in my life its fair to say I had given up on a few things thinking life was going to always be that shit, I had the court case for access to my kids going on which was killing me, I was getting weekly letters from my kids mums solicitors calling me all the names under the sun. I wasn’t working and I had recently discovered the joys of taking drugs, namely ecstasy which was like taking a problem forgetting pill and all the hurt used to go away for that particular period.
What I then done was not to set up a shop or stall, but what came next seemed like a natural progression as if promoted from user to seller. I realized that I could make enough money to pay for my weekends out partying and have enough left over to get me through the week without having to scrape together pennies to buy chocolate bars and basic dinners. I’m not saying I went and bought a car or house, I was strictly small time.
After all, I knew people that I had grown up with selling FAKE pills by going and getting pro plus or any tablets on sale that could pass as ecstasy. Then file them down if necessary to remove any writing then finally coat them in “stop n grow” the nasty tasting substance used to coat your nails to stop you biting them. This made the pill taste bitter when taken so the person taking it believes that they are not buying a dud pill. As clever as it sounds I didn’t actually agree with this way of earning a living because sooner or later they would end up taking a beating because you cant go to trading standards with a faulty pill and get a refund off anyone, this was strictly a dangerous area of the field that I was only to happy to stay away from.
Not that I thought what I was doing was ok either, but I thought quite selfishly that I was not hurting anyone and having quite a good time in the process, meeting loads of new people and some of them people cant do enough for you, you are elevated into a position of folk hero, breaking the law for the good of the people who wanted to get wasted. Well that’s how it felt at the time. But the laws of club land are very different from the laws on the streets, for instance think about this.. dance clubs emerged off the back of illegal raves in the mid to late 80s and promotions and clubs were run by a lot of the people who put together the illegal raves, so how do you go from organizing illegal raves filled with drugs and drug dealers who were making thousands of pounds a night to running a legit club with no drugs in?? Answer you don’t. And why would you?
Some clubs and I am going to say some as my get out, some clubs allowed dealers to operate inside the club with the clubs blessing for a fee, now I’m not going to pretend I know every in and out of this operation because I have never done it on behalf of a club, the things I am presenting to you are things I have witnessed and been told whilst going out clubbing for years in a scene I loved and worshiped.
Going out was like a birthday at the end of a very stressed week, I was pretty much living for the weekends, no real money or work but having them weekends made up for a lot of the shit things that were going on at the time. I had to do a drug course later on when I was about 29 to be able to teach DJ workshops in schools and I remember the guy teaching us saying that ecstasy in its purest form is pretty safe if taken properly, I couldn’t believe my ears.
There hasn’t been enough study into it to say otherwise, but I am not going to suggest you do it, after all the downsides are looking down syndrome, sweating like a pedophile in a playground as well as the comedowns and depression you suffer after prolonged usage, it can also lead to paranoia and trigger mental breakdowns, because remember what goes up must come down.
Drugs and drink are responsible for many situations that I have been in that I wouldn’t have been in otherwise, some of them good and others bad, anyone who says they remain unaffected from years of drug taking are probably not aware of their symptoms or the long term damage they have suffered.
Before I rap up this bit about drugs I want you to be aware of a few facts, more people die each year from alcohol related incidents including drinking alcohol and smoking than any drug related incidents. If the governments legalized drugs here, we would have to be friends and do business with the people we have been demonising since time began and it would be very hard to tax, after all people have been smuggling them in and can get around paying the tax. Look at the cigarette situation in this county, abroad fags are cheap, but if you’re a smoker in the UK you have to pay a high duty on them because they are addictive and people will continue to buy them even if they get to £10 for 20. But now we are at the stage where we all know someone selling cigarettes illegally, you can get 200 for £20/£25 depending on your brand, as a county we are standing up to the government and saying we won’t stop smoking but we will not pay what you want us to.. (now reading back it seems like I’m really interested in politics, but let me reassure you I’m not, I just like to be aware and I’m a nosey fucker lol)
Fucking hell another rant over, quickly I know I shouldn’t and I said I wouldn’t but I’m 4 days in on this Cambridge diet, I feel pissed off its got to this but I need to get down to what I want to be and its very hard as per this topic being all or nothing, I could lie and what have you, but I cant be arsed.
I will let you know how I get on, please remember to drop your feedback, it does make me feel like I’m not sitting in a room babbling and going mad lol
Right in the words of jerry Springer >> fuck off lol
After discovering pills at about 21/ 22 years old I was living in brockley house on east street, it was a one bedroom flat we rented of a girl called Amanda who I hated because she came across as a bully, she did ultimately let us stay there so I cant really say anything bad about her. Whilst living there I had no income and things were super tight, there are low points in my life that I remember and a couple of them were whilst living there, such as going to the shop with about 40p in pennies to buy a chocolate bar and it felt like a tramp paying for my twirl completely in coppers, but my addiction and craving for chocolate was so strong that the shame was worth the reward of the intense velvet flavored bar. Another low point which you may think is me over reacting was cooking a sausage stir fry. Now you may think there’s nothing wrong with putting sausages and rice together in a wok and knocking up an English twist to an ancient Chinese dish that’s been around since time began, other than the fact I don’t like sausages. But being poor the choices you get in life are slimmer than a supermodel with and eating disorder.
It’s amazing how your financial situation can motivate you into things that you might otherwise consider to be not your thing or how good something tastes when you haven’t eaten for that day, even if the said meal is something you hate.
At that time in my life its fair to say I had given up on a few things thinking life was going to always be that shit, I had the court case for access to my kids going on which was killing me, I was getting weekly letters from my kids mums solicitors calling me all the names under the sun. I wasn’t working and I had recently discovered the joys of taking drugs, namely ecstasy which was like taking a problem forgetting pill and all the hurt used to go away for that particular period.
What I then done was not to set up a shop or stall, but what came next seemed like a natural progression as if promoted from user to seller. I realized that I could make enough money to pay for my weekends out partying and have enough left over to get me through the week without having to scrape together pennies to buy chocolate bars and basic dinners. I’m not saying I went and bought a car or house, I was strictly small time.
After all, I knew people that I had grown up with selling FAKE pills by going and getting pro plus or any tablets on sale that could pass as ecstasy. Then file them down if necessary to remove any writing then finally coat them in “stop n grow” the nasty tasting substance used to coat your nails to stop you biting them. This made the pill taste bitter when taken so the person taking it believes that they are not buying a dud pill. As clever as it sounds I didn’t actually agree with this way of earning a living because sooner or later they would end up taking a beating because you cant go to trading standards with a faulty pill and get a refund off anyone, this was strictly a dangerous area of the field that I was only to happy to stay away from.
Not that I thought what I was doing was ok either, but I thought quite selfishly that I was not hurting anyone and having quite a good time in the process, meeting loads of new people and some of them people cant do enough for you, you are elevated into a position of folk hero, breaking the law for the good of the people who wanted to get wasted. Well that’s how it felt at the time. But the laws of club land are very different from the laws on the streets, for instance think about this.. dance clubs emerged off the back of illegal raves in the mid to late 80s and promotions and clubs were run by a lot of the people who put together the illegal raves, so how do you go from organizing illegal raves filled with drugs and drug dealers who were making thousands of pounds a night to running a legit club with no drugs in?? Answer you don’t. And why would you?
Some clubs and I am going to say some as my get out, some clubs allowed dealers to operate inside the club with the clubs blessing for a fee, now I’m not going to pretend I know every in and out of this operation because I have never done it on behalf of a club, the things I am presenting to you are things I have witnessed and been told whilst going out clubbing for years in a scene I loved and worshiped.
Going out was like a birthday at the end of a very stressed week, I was pretty much living for the weekends, no real money or work but having them weekends made up for a lot of the shit things that were going on at the time. I had to do a drug course later on when I was about 29 to be able to teach DJ workshops in schools and I remember the guy teaching us saying that ecstasy in its purest form is pretty safe if taken properly, I couldn’t believe my ears.
There hasn’t been enough study into it to say otherwise, but I am not going to suggest you do it, after all the downsides are looking down syndrome, sweating like a pedophile in a playground as well as the comedowns and depression you suffer after prolonged usage, it can also lead to paranoia and trigger mental breakdowns, because remember what goes up must come down.
Drugs and drink are responsible for many situations that I have been in that I wouldn’t have been in otherwise, some of them good and others bad, anyone who says they remain unaffected from years of drug taking are probably not aware of their symptoms or the long term damage they have suffered.
Before I rap up this bit about drugs I want you to be aware of a few facts, more people die each year from alcohol related incidents including drinking alcohol and smoking than any drug related incidents. If the governments legalized drugs here, we would have to be friends and do business with the people we have been demonising since time began and it would be very hard to tax, after all people have been smuggling them in and can get around paying the tax. Look at the cigarette situation in this county, abroad fags are cheap, but if you’re a smoker in the UK you have to pay a high duty on them because they are addictive and people will continue to buy them even if they get to £10 for 20. But now we are at the stage where we all know someone selling cigarettes illegally, you can get 200 for £20/£25 depending on your brand, as a county we are standing up to the government and saying we won’t stop smoking but we will not pay what you want us to.. (now reading back it seems like I’m really interested in politics, but let me reassure you I’m not, I just like to be aware and I’m a nosey fucker lol)
Fucking hell another rant over, quickly I know I shouldn’t and I said I wouldn’t but I’m 4 days in on this Cambridge diet, I feel pissed off its got to this but I need to get down to what I want to be and its very hard as per this topic being all or nothing, I could lie and what have you, but I cant be arsed.
I will let you know how I get on, please remember to drop your feedback, it does make me feel like I’m not sitting in a room babbling and going mad lol
Right in the words of jerry Springer >> fuck off lol
Thursday, 1 July 2010
1st july 2010 the drugs dont work
When I was a child I used to gorge on chocolate and listen to pirate radio stations like Lightning Fm, then I managed to get a job and used to play fruit machines and lost most of what I earnt on more than one occasion. But what seemed to happen was that a cheeky fiver became twenty pounds and by then your chasing the money you lost, thinking that the machine was about to pay out at any minute. You couldn’t walk away because somebody else will walk up, put in twenty pence and win all your money. But it’s not your money is it really? Because as soon as you put it into the machine it becomes someone else’s money, so you really don’t have a claim to it. Well I hated walking away but once you have spent all you have in cash, there’s nothing else to do other than watch someone else put in that one coin and win the jackpot. It’s at this point that you feel a failure. All sorts of things used to run through my head and a bout of depression would set in. At the time this was happening I was about 18 and wasn’t really a fan of Pubs, so I didn’t go in very often, not to mention the fact that I had 2 kids aged one and two. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t spend the money for nappies or clothes on fruit machines, it was money that I just happened to have. Money that I could have put to good use.
Then as I got older, well I was about 21/22 I started experimenting with speed, I always said I wouldn’t touch drugs because my mums husband became a heroin addict and we had to leave home to get away from the cunt. So not taking drugs and not smoking was a very easy thing to say no to, but after splitting up with my kids mum, I sort of thought my world had ended, well at the time it had because I was still young and I didn’t know any better, or any different I should say, I had been with her from the age of 15 and had grown up together, its a bit silly now when you think of it, but at the time I needed a distraction, so DJ’ing became a good way to express myself and achieve something in the way of pride and a little extra money that didn’t involve crime.
When I became a weekly resident I started drinking loads whilst I was DJ’ing partly nerves and partly just being upset over the split, a friend of mine said to me that speed keeps you sober but keeps the happy vibe from the alcohol. And to start with it worked a treat; I would have gone on ITV after Coronation Street and promoted speed as the perfect accompaniment to drinking loads of lager.
It was then that I got introduced to the club scene and started going to channel club and strawberry Sundays in Vauxhall, it was in channel club that some guy we were out with suggested I take an E. Now what I should have said is no but in the spirit of things I thought “fuck it, why not?” so we split the pill 3 ways. It tasted absolutely vile but at the time it seemed un cool to mention it, so I just cracked on and waited for the effects to take over.
I couldn’t tell you how long it took but I can still remember coming over all warm as if you was snuggled up in your favorite pajamas in front of a hot fire drinking hot chocolate whilst it’s snowing outside. I was sat in room two and the song playing was Insomnia by faithless, I was sat on a podium thing drinking a can of red stripe (I can assure you that is not a drink I would order at a bar, but in them clubs its all they had in the way of lager... I think it’s cheap to buy in, but they sold it for about £3). There was one of them fans that turn’s around in different directions, and every time it was on me I felt better and when it was off me, I became hot and sluggish. It was at that point I started to become a bit worried because I wasn’t in control and it felt different from any feeling I had ever felt before, it was at that point that someone sat down with me and told me not to panic.
Enter Sandra, she was a complete stranger up to that point, she’s a black woman who loves clubbing through and through, whatever it is, clubbing looks as though it courses through her veins. She explained what was happening to me and the worst thing I can do is panic, the girl I was with was monged out and was enjoying the feeling as she had a big stupid grin on her face and the bloke was off dancing somewhere, so it was all down to Sandra to stop me having a panic attack. Now you think that would of been the last time I would of taken ecstasy, but my friends I cant tell a lie and say its a bad thing I done because on reflection I enjoyed it so much that I went out most weekends and ate doves, I love you’s, Mercedes, Rolex’s and all sorts of names that seemed a bit weird at the time but I suppose brand awareness is quite important, even in the drug making business, lol
The problem with some if not most drugs is that they certainly do lead to taking other drugs, I’m not saying if you smoke a bit of puff your going to be on heroin before the nights out, but once you open certain doors the rest of the drug options seem to present themselves like walking into a sweet shop and asking for a kit kat chunky, now the shop owner doesn’t want to tell you that he hasn’t been to the cash and carry, so he tries to show you the new kit kat chunky now with caramel. Yes folks its better than the original and has more sugar for your money than the boring old chunky version, that’s pretty much how some people sell you drugs, you might go to buy speed and walk out with ketamine, coke or baby teething powder if your not careful. The drug business is not regulated and follows no rules other than they are breaking the law. Now some people, well most people don’t mind bending a few rules or even breaking tiny non important laws like parking on a double red line. But the drugs game is a very different animal, you face years in prison and the prospect of not being able to get a decent job if you ever get out, so why do so many people risk getting caught taking and selling the fucking things?
Escapism is the answer, I don’t care how happy someone says they are, how many houses, cars or blow jobs they get, if they take drugs its part escapism or as it was in my case switching off, or being able to switch off and escape from any problems that were in my life at the time. Certain drugs give you a comfort blanket that protects you from whatever’s bothering you. Anyone who takes drugs regularly and says that nothing bothers then or that they are happy is probably lying to you and themselves, some drugs become a coping mechanism for all manner of situations from smoking weed because you can do your job standing on your head to sniffing cocaine because you work in a high octane environment such as a trader on the futures market, I’m not saying everyone does because I’m not everywhere to say that its the truth, I’m just saying it goes on.
Up to now you have probably got the impression that I advocate taking drugs, well let me clear something up. I do not.
What I haven’t got to yes is the day after the night before, have you heard of the saying what goes up must come down? Well it’s a true as life itself.
Being 22 I was able to go out all night, take a few drugs such as ecstasy and drink loads of alcohol and get into my bed at 9am, then wake up at 5 in the afternoon as if I had been in bed at 9.55pm with a cup of coco, then skip forward 5 years. I was able and needed to take more drugs for it to have any affect and staying up would sometimes include me by myself sniffing coke and taking ecstasy with a glass of vodka on the go. This is when what started out as a social pastime became an addiction and the good times were defiantly outweighing the good. Paranoia had set in and my mental state was less than fragile. Some people find themselves owing money for the nights that never ended and working all week to pay dealers for drugs that they smoked or sniffed. I was fortunate to be earning enough money to not owe anyone any thing but know and met enough people who would sell you their property such as personal music players, videos just to get more money to buy more drugs.
Its like working in clubs every week, I get to see people at their best, happy and up for a laugh, they drink as if they are rich and take various drugs, but then the can you lend me money comes out of the mouth and you have to think can this guy pay me back? I remember lending a guy £40 once so he could stay out longer, he gave me his cash point card and said he would ring me the next day with his pin number so I could go to the bank and draw the cash out. Now that seemed pretty reasonable as the guy had been coming to the club for ages and was a friend of a friend. Well let me just say that he didn’t ring me the next day and I have never seen him since, the lengths people will go to ah!
Right more next week about all the ups n downs of drugs, I just want to thank everyone who sponsored me for the charity bike ride I done on Sunday, I just want to say it was fucking easy and have decide to try and keep the training up to do the London to Brighton and the London to Windsor ride which is much longer than 27 miles. Its not too late to sponsor me as I need to get the fund up about and other £100, so if everyone gives £5 it will exceed my target, all you have to do is click on www.justgiving.com/daniel-blaze and use your debit card or credit card, its simple or if you don’t feel safe you can in box me on facebook and arrange to give me the cash and I will put it on for you, I have to say special thanks to Sarah LT from crawley , Express national Carriers (the best cab company in London, use them loads as they are great, the numbers 0207 404 3333), Ekrim, Alex, Hux, EJB, Richie, Lisa & Nancy, Dwayne, Michelle Buckley, Cheryl , Stacy, Sam, Natalie, Mc Sez, Dj Metts, Digital disco plus everyone who is yet to still give me the cash. Oh and I cant forget to say thanks to Barbra and Andrew who arranged it all, id love for you guys to be my Mum & Dad, and they gave a £100 sponsorship which is above and beyond the call of duty considering everything they done on the day.. Thanks to you all xx
Right remember you can shout me with your feedback on this blogs, it does mean a lot when you do so do the right thing lol..
Have a lovely time in this weather, I’m off to knock out 30 miles on my bike like its nothing lol
Then as I got older, well I was about 21/22 I started experimenting with speed, I always said I wouldn’t touch drugs because my mums husband became a heroin addict and we had to leave home to get away from the cunt. So not taking drugs and not smoking was a very easy thing to say no to, but after splitting up with my kids mum, I sort of thought my world had ended, well at the time it had because I was still young and I didn’t know any better, or any different I should say, I had been with her from the age of 15 and had grown up together, its a bit silly now when you think of it, but at the time I needed a distraction, so DJ’ing became a good way to express myself and achieve something in the way of pride and a little extra money that didn’t involve crime.
When I became a weekly resident I started drinking loads whilst I was DJ’ing partly nerves and partly just being upset over the split, a friend of mine said to me that speed keeps you sober but keeps the happy vibe from the alcohol. And to start with it worked a treat; I would have gone on ITV after Coronation Street and promoted speed as the perfect accompaniment to drinking loads of lager.
It was then that I got introduced to the club scene and started going to channel club and strawberry Sundays in Vauxhall, it was in channel club that some guy we were out with suggested I take an E. Now what I should have said is no but in the spirit of things I thought “fuck it, why not?” so we split the pill 3 ways. It tasted absolutely vile but at the time it seemed un cool to mention it, so I just cracked on and waited for the effects to take over.
I couldn’t tell you how long it took but I can still remember coming over all warm as if you was snuggled up in your favorite pajamas in front of a hot fire drinking hot chocolate whilst it’s snowing outside. I was sat in room two and the song playing was Insomnia by faithless, I was sat on a podium thing drinking a can of red stripe (I can assure you that is not a drink I would order at a bar, but in them clubs its all they had in the way of lager... I think it’s cheap to buy in, but they sold it for about £3). There was one of them fans that turn’s around in different directions, and every time it was on me I felt better and when it was off me, I became hot and sluggish. It was at that point I started to become a bit worried because I wasn’t in control and it felt different from any feeling I had ever felt before, it was at that point that someone sat down with me and told me not to panic.
Enter Sandra, she was a complete stranger up to that point, she’s a black woman who loves clubbing through and through, whatever it is, clubbing looks as though it courses through her veins. She explained what was happening to me and the worst thing I can do is panic, the girl I was with was monged out and was enjoying the feeling as she had a big stupid grin on her face and the bloke was off dancing somewhere, so it was all down to Sandra to stop me having a panic attack. Now you think that would of been the last time I would of taken ecstasy, but my friends I cant tell a lie and say its a bad thing I done because on reflection I enjoyed it so much that I went out most weekends and ate doves, I love you’s, Mercedes, Rolex’s and all sorts of names that seemed a bit weird at the time but I suppose brand awareness is quite important, even in the drug making business, lol
The problem with some if not most drugs is that they certainly do lead to taking other drugs, I’m not saying if you smoke a bit of puff your going to be on heroin before the nights out, but once you open certain doors the rest of the drug options seem to present themselves like walking into a sweet shop and asking for a kit kat chunky, now the shop owner doesn’t want to tell you that he hasn’t been to the cash and carry, so he tries to show you the new kit kat chunky now with caramel. Yes folks its better than the original and has more sugar for your money than the boring old chunky version, that’s pretty much how some people sell you drugs, you might go to buy speed and walk out with ketamine, coke or baby teething powder if your not careful. The drug business is not regulated and follows no rules other than they are breaking the law. Now some people, well most people don’t mind bending a few rules or even breaking tiny non important laws like parking on a double red line. But the drugs game is a very different animal, you face years in prison and the prospect of not being able to get a decent job if you ever get out, so why do so many people risk getting caught taking and selling the fucking things?
Escapism is the answer, I don’t care how happy someone says they are, how many houses, cars or blow jobs they get, if they take drugs its part escapism or as it was in my case switching off, or being able to switch off and escape from any problems that were in my life at the time. Certain drugs give you a comfort blanket that protects you from whatever’s bothering you. Anyone who takes drugs regularly and says that nothing bothers then or that they are happy is probably lying to you and themselves, some drugs become a coping mechanism for all manner of situations from smoking weed because you can do your job standing on your head to sniffing cocaine because you work in a high octane environment such as a trader on the futures market, I’m not saying everyone does because I’m not everywhere to say that its the truth, I’m just saying it goes on.
Up to now you have probably got the impression that I advocate taking drugs, well let me clear something up. I do not.
What I haven’t got to yes is the day after the night before, have you heard of the saying what goes up must come down? Well it’s a true as life itself.
Being 22 I was able to go out all night, take a few drugs such as ecstasy and drink loads of alcohol and get into my bed at 9am, then wake up at 5 in the afternoon as if I had been in bed at 9.55pm with a cup of coco, then skip forward 5 years. I was able and needed to take more drugs for it to have any affect and staying up would sometimes include me by myself sniffing coke and taking ecstasy with a glass of vodka on the go. This is when what started out as a social pastime became an addiction and the good times were defiantly outweighing the good. Paranoia had set in and my mental state was less than fragile. Some people find themselves owing money for the nights that never ended and working all week to pay dealers for drugs that they smoked or sniffed. I was fortunate to be earning enough money to not owe anyone any thing but know and met enough people who would sell you their property such as personal music players, videos just to get more money to buy more drugs.
Its like working in clubs every week, I get to see people at their best, happy and up for a laugh, they drink as if they are rich and take various drugs, but then the can you lend me money comes out of the mouth and you have to think can this guy pay me back? I remember lending a guy £40 once so he could stay out longer, he gave me his cash point card and said he would ring me the next day with his pin number so I could go to the bank and draw the cash out. Now that seemed pretty reasonable as the guy had been coming to the club for ages and was a friend of a friend. Well let me just say that he didn’t ring me the next day and I have never seen him since, the lengths people will go to ah!
Right more next week about all the ups n downs of drugs, I just want to thank everyone who sponsored me for the charity bike ride I done on Sunday, I just want to say it was fucking easy and have decide to try and keep the training up to do the London to Brighton and the London to Windsor ride which is much longer than 27 miles. Its not too late to sponsor me as I need to get the fund up about and other £100, so if everyone gives £5 it will exceed my target, all you have to do is click on www.justgiving.com/daniel-blaze and use your debit card or credit card, its simple or if you don’t feel safe you can in box me on facebook and arrange to give me the cash and I will put it on for you, I have to say special thanks to Sarah LT from crawley , Express national Carriers (the best cab company in London, use them loads as they are great, the numbers 0207 404 3333), Ekrim, Alex, Hux, EJB, Richie, Lisa & Nancy, Dwayne, Michelle Buckley, Cheryl , Stacy, Sam, Natalie, Mc Sez, Dj Metts, Digital disco plus everyone who is yet to still give me the cash. Oh and I cant forget to say thanks to Barbra and Andrew who arranged it all, id love for you guys to be my Mum & Dad, and they gave a £100 sponsorship which is above and beyond the call of duty considering everything they done on the day.. Thanks to you all xx
Right remember you can shout me with your feedback on this blogs, it does mean a lot when you do so do the right thing lol..
Have a lovely time in this weather, I’m off to knock out 30 miles on my bike like its nothing lol
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
15th June 2010 Jesus saves - put him in goal for England
7 days without prayer makes one weak.. the church have had to result to word play to grab peoples attention because of church attendance numbers being at an all time low unless you count the African churches that have popped up like sweat shops all over the place, housing them in clubs, tenant halls and any place that’s available.
I remember from the De Vinci code that written in the bible or somewhere is the saying that I am all around you, lift a stone, break a piece of wood and I am there. What I got from that message was that you do not need to go to church to pray, because god (I would just like to point out at this moment in time that I do not believe in god, well I don’t believe in god as we have been told it, but more about that in a bit, well maybe as I don’t actually know what I am going to write next) is everywhere.
I really don’t know why I don’t believe in god or the version of god we have been told exists, it just seems highly unlikely that things would be as they are now if such a being existed, after all why would he send his so called son (yeah that’s Jesus) down to earth and we have heard no more since? And the stories in the bible all contradict each other. I watched some programme the other day saying as a kid Jesus was a really naughty kid (I know that just sounds weird don’t it), he was believed to be involved in his friends death (how could they accuse him of all people, lol), they thought he pushed his mate off a roof and he fell to his death. Now I know you are dying (excuse the pun) to know how this story resolved itself, because I’m sure you haven’t got the impression of lord and savior was some sort of rude boy who people were scared of, who went round pushing people off roofs if they didn’t do what he said.
No our mate on the cross (well before he was on the cross) brought his mate back from the dead to tell people that he didn’t kill him, brilliant! Maybe he should come back to earth and solve a few murder mysteries for us. But seeing as his dad (yes I’m mean god) is everywhere he wouldn’t even need to turn up to the scene of the crime, he could just send a text message or email to save man hours.
I’m not sure if you are actually aware that the bible is loads of other books, well parts of other books put together so the people of the time it was written can all stick to one set of rules and guidelines if you want to call it that (I’m sure there is a more official name, but I’m going to stick with my way of explaining things). Well basically a group was set up to pick and choose stories and letters from all these other books to make one official book. There were books and stories that were not put in at the time but were considered to be just as or more important than the ones finally chosen.
There was one on Mary, whom they say remained a virgin throughout her life but had other kids, so you can’t be sure that it’s the truth. There was a version of one called Adam and eve that says that one of there sons married a woman. But seeing as they were the only humans invented by god, it doesn’t add up because who was she? One book called the book of jubilees says that he married his own sister. Now that sounds about right in my opinion, but either way it’s all a load of shit. None of it is consistent and lets face it, there was fuck all else to do in them times other than have sex, eat and pray.
You might think this is all a bit weird banging on about religion but I am fascinated by the fact that so many people believe and have faith in something that doesn’t stand up to scrutiny. If you have been to or seen a programme that shows what happens in a court room, you will know that you have to swear on the bible to say that you are not lying. Come on how fucking stupid is that?
Even if you do not believe in god, fairy’s or even that the moon is made of cheese you have to swear on a book of stories to say that you are not going to tell any lies in court. I will be honest with you now and tell you I have lied in court, it’s a serious matter called perjury and if found out you can go to prison. But my reason for telling you is that putting you hand on a bible and saying that the sky is luminous black with pink spots is not going to make anything happen, the sky is not going to open up and a big hand come down and give you a dry slap. So ask yourself why the fuck do they do it. All I can think is tradition.
So now the bible bashing bit is over how the hell are you? I been trying to prepare mentally for this 26 mile bike ride I have coming up next week Sunday, I know its going to kill me if I’m honest but I will get through it so I don’t let anyone down. I’m trying to raise £500 because its a nice round figure, I have set a just giving page which is linked to the charity that I am supporting and you can use your debit or credit card to make a donation, it really does count even if you only donate £1 or £100, and it all goes straight to the charity with no funny business, as I am the most skeptical person when it comes to giving my card details out. If you would like to sponsor me the web address is http://www.justgiving.com/Daniel-blaze or if you are in south London you can just give me the cash and fill out a sponsor sheet. So far if everyone who has said gives me the cash I will have raised nearly £300, so not far left to go, so don’t be fucking tight and gives ya fuckin money (that was a bob Geldof quote there, but I’m using it now lol)
I tried doing that fucking Cambridge diet last week, I got to day 5 and gave up, I really don’t know what the fucks the matter with me, and I’m just going to mug it off and get into this training and gym and maybe gradually cut out eating the junk I eat. I do feel like a bit of a failure for not being able to stick to it, but you cant spend your life stopping and starting it as it means I have a constant headache and never got any fucking energy as the first couple of weeks is the killer. So tomorrow which is Wednesday I am going to get back out on my bike and go gym this week and eat what the fuck I want for now and see how that pans out.
Went to see the Michael McIntyre comedy road show last night and had a really good night and was lucky enough to meet him during and after the show, not really a bin fan but he was actually funny, so I have to give him ratings. What happens is comedians write there material and try it out over and over again until its funnier to a more commercial crowd, but for me by then its been watered down and a bit shit, so I think the smaller venues like the comedy store are much better than going to see them in a 30’000 venues when all you can see is a dot on the stage. Keep it real peoples.
Right I am going to chip (remember that old skool saying), but please remember to drop feedback on my blogs or any opinions you might have feel free to share them as I’m always interested and even fascinated in some cases. So with that in mind have a lovely week and have a think about what I said about religion, it’s all down to the individual but I hate being lied to.
Be good Daniel Blaze
I remember from the De Vinci code that written in the bible or somewhere is the saying that I am all around you, lift a stone, break a piece of wood and I am there. What I got from that message was that you do not need to go to church to pray, because god (I would just like to point out at this moment in time that I do not believe in god, well I don’t believe in god as we have been told it, but more about that in a bit, well maybe as I don’t actually know what I am going to write next) is everywhere.
I really don’t know why I don’t believe in god or the version of god we have been told exists, it just seems highly unlikely that things would be as they are now if such a being existed, after all why would he send his so called son (yeah that’s Jesus) down to earth and we have heard no more since? And the stories in the bible all contradict each other. I watched some programme the other day saying as a kid Jesus was a really naughty kid (I know that just sounds weird don’t it), he was believed to be involved in his friends death (how could they accuse him of all people, lol), they thought he pushed his mate off a roof and he fell to his death. Now I know you are dying (excuse the pun) to know how this story resolved itself, because I’m sure you haven’t got the impression of lord and savior was some sort of rude boy who people were scared of, who went round pushing people off roofs if they didn’t do what he said.
No our mate on the cross (well before he was on the cross) brought his mate back from the dead to tell people that he didn’t kill him, brilliant! Maybe he should come back to earth and solve a few murder mysteries for us. But seeing as his dad (yes I’m mean god) is everywhere he wouldn’t even need to turn up to the scene of the crime, he could just send a text message or email to save man hours.
I’m not sure if you are actually aware that the bible is loads of other books, well parts of other books put together so the people of the time it was written can all stick to one set of rules and guidelines if you want to call it that (I’m sure there is a more official name, but I’m going to stick with my way of explaining things). Well basically a group was set up to pick and choose stories and letters from all these other books to make one official book. There were books and stories that were not put in at the time but were considered to be just as or more important than the ones finally chosen.
There was one on Mary, whom they say remained a virgin throughout her life but had other kids, so you can’t be sure that it’s the truth. There was a version of one called Adam and eve that says that one of there sons married a woman. But seeing as they were the only humans invented by god, it doesn’t add up because who was she? One book called the book of jubilees says that he married his own sister. Now that sounds about right in my opinion, but either way it’s all a load of shit. None of it is consistent and lets face it, there was fuck all else to do in them times other than have sex, eat and pray.
You might think this is all a bit weird banging on about religion but I am fascinated by the fact that so many people believe and have faith in something that doesn’t stand up to scrutiny. If you have been to or seen a programme that shows what happens in a court room, you will know that you have to swear on the bible to say that you are not lying. Come on how fucking stupid is that?
Even if you do not believe in god, fairy’s or even that the moon is made of cheese you have to swear on a book of stories to say that you are not going to tell any lies in court. I will be honest with you now and tell you I have lied in court, it’s a serious matter called perjury and if found out you can go to prison. But my reason for telling you is that putting you hand on a bible and saying that the sky is luminous black with pink spots is not going to make anything happen, the sky is not going to open up and a big hand come down and give you a dry slap. So ask yourself why the fuck do they do it. All I can think is tradition.
So now the bible bashing bit is over how the hell are you? I been trying to prepare mentally for this 26 mile bike ride I have coming up next week Sunday, I know its going to kill me if I’m honest but I will get through it so I don’t let anyone down. I’m trying to raise £500 because its a nice round figure, I have set a just giving page which is linked to the charity that I am supporting and you can use your debit or credit card to make a donation, it really does count even if you only donate £1 or £100, and it all goes straight to the charity with no funny business, as I am the most skeptical person when it comes to giving my card details out. If you would like to sponsor me the web address is http://www.justgiving.com/Daniel-blaze or if you are in south London you can just give me the cash and fill out a sponsor sheet. So far if everyone who has said gives me the cash I will have raised nearly £300, so not far left to go, so don’t be fucking tight and gives ya fuckin money (that was a bob Geldof quote there, but I’m using it now lol)
I tried doing that fucking Cambridge diet last week, I got to day 5 and gave up, I really don’t know what the fucks the matter with me, and I’m just going to mug it off and get into this training and gym and maybe gradually cut out eating the junk I eat. I do feel like a bit of a failure for not being able to stick to it, but you cant spend your life stopping and starting it as it means I have a constant headache and never got any fucking energy as the first couple of weeks is the killer. So tomorrow which is Wednesday I am going to get back out on my bike and go gym this week and eat what the fuck I want for now and see how that pans out.
Went to see the Michael McIntyre comedy road show last night and had a really good night and was lucky enough to meet him during and after the show, not really a bin fan but he was actually funny, so I have to give him ratings. What happens is comedians write there material and try it out over and over again until its funnier to a more commercial crowd, but for me by then its been watered down and a bit shit, so I think the smaller venues like the comedy store are much better than going to see them in a 30’000 venues when all you can see is a dot on the stage. Keep it real peoples.
Right I am going to chip (remember that old skool saying), but please remember to drop feedback on my blogs or any opinions you might have feel free to share them as I’m always interested and even fascinated in some cases. So with that in mind have a lovely week and have a think about what I said about religion, it’s all down to the individual but I hate being lied to.
Be good Daniel Blaze
Tuesday, 8 June 2010
8th june 2010 // sorry for missing a week
So here we are in the British summer, everyone’s got there shorts on but also wearing a waterproof poncho because we all know its going to bloody rain any minute, were told its down to global warming and all that shit, but if we can be truly honest with ourselves the weather in this fucking country has always been shit, and even worse if you live in Scotland where you can buy heroin in the local sweet shop because its so grim up there (just for the record you can not buy heron in sweetshops in Scotland it was just a dig at how much I think Scotland is depressing.. no offence Scotland, none taken. Oh thanks).
I remember passing through Scotland and seeing that you can buy fags in the chip shop, which I have never seen before. I mean in London we have shops for everything from milkshakes with chocolate bars in them to rubber cocks in the shape of famous porn stars (not that I can name any guys from the world of porn, I am pretty sure that’s where women seem to excel and don’t mind non equal working practices and pay. But who really wants to be any of those women? That’s what I thought lol).
Another odd thing I have seen on my many travels is a drive through....spar, yes the mini supermarket chain where you can pay for your electric or buy 3 day old bread and there is always a crazy deal on something that you never usually buy but when its buy one get one free it seems like you need it in your life all of a sudden.
So back to our drive through spar in north Belfast, now compared to Belfast, Scotland is Disney land, not the shit one in France, Disney land Florida, with Mickey mouse who doesn’t small of garlic and is always pleased to help (quick info alert..A one day pass for Disney land Florida for 3 adults and 4 kids is about £700+). God I keep deviating from this bloody drive through that I’m getting sick of talking about already, well my actual point was that I thought it was weird, and I didn’t see anybody use the fucking thing, I did go in the shop and buy stuff whilst I was there, and in case you didn’t know they use the Euro over there because that’s how much they fucking hate us, lol. Even Scotland has there own currency, and they hate us more than that lool.
Whilst in Belfast I did feel a bit scared, no fuck it.. I was proper shook. There are roads where people have flags and banners outside of there houses to state weather they are protestant or catholic (and if your not aware they kill each other for there beliefs), and there are potholes in the roads where they have massive fires and demonstrations against things that are going on in there country. I felt like I shouldn’t be walking the streets at night in case something bad happened to me (so I didn’t), now you may think I am exaggerating but ask yourself this question. Why is it that if your gas or electricity runs out after 7pm at night, how come it doesn’t actually go off? They allow you to continue to have “said” amenity’s until the following morning when it’s safe to go out of your house again.
Don’t get me wrong I know all of Ireland isn’t like that, and when you get into the city centre its pretty much like any town centre, but the part I was in was a bit frightening for an outsider like me, lol
Had so much on over the last few weeks, but now I’m sitting here trying to remember my flipin minds gone blank, saying that I had a laugh at someone’s expense on Sunday night at the club I run, we have a Jamaican night on Sundays, and I get involved asking people to buy tickets of cue up if its busy, on Sunday this group of Jamaican men came up to the cue and I said “excuse me guys, you need to grab a ticket”, one of the dudes was offended saying that guys sounds too much like gays, and he don’t want to be referred to as guys.. I couldn’t stop laughing at this bloody idiot
Trying to get mentally adjusted to do this 26 mile bike ride on the 27th of June, if you don’t know already its for charity and I would really like everyone to sponsor me, as much or as little as you can afford, the easiest way you can give is by my just giving page which is located by clicking on http://www.justgiving.com/Daniel-blaze or the old fashioned by giving me the cash to put in the collection tin I have been given by the charity. I haven’t actually been out on my bike in the last few days, but I will be doing some major catch up later on from this week. Trust in me people and I will get this ride done.
I Dj’ed at scala in kings cross on Saturday for the school reunion party where I got to play loads of wicked tunes then on to Wesley Jays birthday party at Opera house where we did our new Funk mob projects new tune called Funky Moves, we have so much stuff coming up. Like tomorrow the official mix Cd comes out tomorrow and the Video will be on a music channel near you in the next few weeks, as well as a Tour of the UK and Abroad to look forward to.. so look out for the Cd and Video, if you haven’t already, please join the Funk Mob group on facebook, also they are live on radio Wednesdays from 8pm-10pm, check them out.
Right I am going to keep it short as I’m mad busy still but I will get back on this blog situation from now.. Remember all your feedback and stuff is always welcome, have a lovely week.. Will try doing another blog this weekend
I remember passing through Scotland and seeing that you can buy fags in the chip shop, which I have never seen before. I mean in London we have shops for everything from milkshakes with chocolate bars in them to rubber cocks in the shape of famous porn stars (not that I can name any guys from the world of porn, I am pretty sure that’s where women seem to excel and don’t mind non equal working practices and pay. But who really wants to be any of those women? That’s what I thought lol).
Another odd thing I have seen on my many travels is a drive through....spar, yes the mini supermarket chain where you can pay for your electric or buy 3 day old bread and there is always a crazy deal on something that you never usually buy but when its buy one get one free it seems like you need it in your life all of a sudden.
So back to our drive through spar in north Belfast, now compared to Belfast, Scotland is Disney land, not the shit one in France, Disney land Florida, with Mickey mouse who doesn’t small of garlic and is always pleased to help (quick info alert..A one day pass for Disney land Florida for 3 adults and 4 kids is about £700+). God I keep deviating from this bloody drive through that I’m getting sick of talking about already, well my actual point was that I thought it was weird, and I didn’t see anybody use the fucking thing, I did go in the shop and buy stuff whilst I was there, and in case you didn’t know they use the Euro over there because that’s how much they fucking hate us, lol. Even Scotland has there own currency, and they hate us more than that lool.
Whilst in Belfast I did feel a bit scared, no fuck it.. I was proper shook. There are roads where people have flags and banners outside of there houses to state weather they are protestant or catholic (and if your not aware they kill each other for there beliefs), and there are potholes in the roads where they have massive fires and demonstrations against things that are going on in there country. I felt like I shouldn’t be walking the streets at night in case something bad happened to me (so I didn’t), now you may think I am exaggerating but ask yourself this question. Why is it that if your gas or electricity runs out after 7pm at night, how come it doesn’t actually go off? They allow you to continue to have “said” amenity’s until the following morning when it’s safe to go out of your house again.
Don’t get me wrong I know all of Ireland isn’t like that, and when you get into the city centre its pretty much like any town centre, but the part I was in was a bit frightening for an outsider like me, lol
Had so much on over the last few weeks, but now I’m sitting here trying to remember my flipin minds gone blank, saying that I had a laugh at someone’s expense on Sunday night at the club I run, we have a Jamaican night on Sundays, and I get involved asking people to buy tickets of cue up if its busy, on Sunday this group of Jamaican men came up to the cue and I said “excuse me guys, you need to grab a ticket”, one of the dudes was offended saying that guys sounds too much like gays, and he don’t want to be referred to as guys.. I couldn’t stop laughing at this bloody idiot
Trying to get mentally adjusted to do this 26 mile bike ride on the 27th of June, if you don’t know already its for charity and I would really like everyone to sponsor me, as much or as little as you can afford, the easiest way you can give is by my just giving page which is located by clicking on http://www.justgiving.com/Daniel-blaze or the old fashioned by giving me the cash to put in the collection tin I have been given by the charity. I haven’t actually been out on my bike in the last few days, but I will be doing some major catch up later on from this week. Trust in me people and I will get this ride done.
I Dj’ed at scala in kings cross on Saturday for the school reunion party where I got to play loads of wicked tunes then on to Wesley Jays birthday party at Opera house where we did our new Funk mob projects new tune called Funky Moves, we have so much stuff coming up. Like tomorrow the official mix Cd comes out tomorrow and the Video will be on a music channel near you in the next few weeks, as well as a Tour of the UK and Abroad to look forward to.. so look out for the Cd and Video, if you haven’t already, please join the Funk Mob group on facebook, also they are live on radio Wednesdays from 8pm-10pm, check them out.
Right I am going to keep it short as I’m mad busy still but I will get back on this blog situation from now.. Remember all your feedback and stuff is always welcome, have a lovely week.. Will try doing another blog this weekend
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
26th may 2010 everybody loves the sunshine
last weeks rant it got me thinking about things like, when did people stop cueing for the bus? I mean I can remember when people used to stand in line in the order that they arrived at the bus stop, and when the bus came you got on in the same order. If the bus was full you simply waited for the next bus to come along. Fast forward to 2010, everyone just sort of hangs around the bus stop like they was undercover police trying not to be noticed, and then when the bus comes it turns into survival of the fittest.
To be honest its just the shit society we live in and the calibre of the people cueing up for the bus, most people who don’t like them terms and conditions for travel on the bus have bought a bike like yours truly, got a car or got the trainers out, and in this weather I suggest you do the latter (which for those of you don’t understand the word latter in a sentence means “the last one”, wow I’m slyly confusing myself now)
Yes the weather has been lovely for the last couple of days and if I never mentioned it in last weeks blog I went and bought a bike to do this charity bike ride, and its just under 5 weeks away and I really do expect some of you lot to sponsor me, or I will put a gypsies curse on you, well I wont but I will however think your a tight fucker with no compassion for sick peoples. And you don’t want that on your conscience does ya?? Come on does ya? Lol
Just going over the very large park opposite so far, as I’m not being seen on road wearing the helmet that makes me look like someone I’m actually collecting for (yes I know that’s a bit bellow the belt, but its funny and I’m raising money for leukaemia not a sunshine bus lol). I have to get used to having a numb bum from the bike seat, and I don’t expect any gay sore arse jokes please.
Yeah anyway I do feel a bit of a Wally on the bike but its all part of trying to change my lifestyle and move towards being healthier and living longer. I restarted this fucking Cambridge diet yet again on Monday just gone, I weighed in at 16 stone 11lb and I am so pissed off, but with only myself to blame for eating 10 bars of chocolate a day, I cant be mad at anyone and will try use that energy to keep myself motivated. I know what I need to do, and for those actually interested I shall tells ya. I’m planning (this is the theory part of my plan, I need to make it happen) to get down to 14 stone something and gradually introduce a cooked meal of an evening to start with, but still keep my calorie intake as low as I can for now, avoiding all chocolate and snacks. This all coupled with the bike riding should start to balance out my exercise to diet ratio and help to continue to lose weight but not at such a fast rate, as the quicker you lose it, the quicker it seems to go back on if you eat junk.
Last year I got down to 15 stone and managed to stay there for ages by keeping a food diary, thus not over eating and keeping my calories at roughly 2500 a day which is the normal mans allowance, I even managed to chuck in a couple of chocolate bars at around 300 calories each, so basically ate super healthy other than the two chocolate bars. It did work, so I know I can do it, I was playing a bit of badminton as well at the time, but everyone seems to have given up on that as well so if any of you lot live in south and fancy a game of badminton just shout me because its one of the few sports I’m good at and enjoy, which is a bit of a luxury to me, as I never really got into the whole football thing for some reason. I used to watch a bit of wrestling on a Saturday as a kid, but it’s wasn’t exactly WWF or WWWF or whatever it’s bloody called these days. Yes the wrestling I’m referring to had its best wrestlers called BIG DADDY and GIANT HAYSTACK, the TV programme was called world of sport hosted by some man called Dickey Davis who wouldn’t look out of place in a 80s porno with a dodgy looking moustache and come to think of it, even his name sounds like an 80s porno star. Not that I actually knew any porno starts names in the 80s as I was only 5 years old in 1980.
Big Daddy being the good guy and weighing in at about 30 stone and looked and if I remember correctly was a granddad then, he used to bash up the bad wrestlers and he used to get the crowd involved by making them sing EASY – EASY – EASY, it was fun to watch a 50 year old man who looks like he might drop dead any minute, not that that’s why I watched it you understand. No I thought Big Daddy real name Shirley Crabtree (yes that was his not a woman’s real name, no wonder he took up a violent sport, well its not really violent is it? Its ballet for fat bloke’s lol) well at the age I was when it was on, which is about 10, I thought he was Britain’s version of the 64 million dollar man (you can Google who the hell he was, I’m not doing all the fucking work round ere lol). His arch enemy was 6ft 11 and 48 stone and went by the name Giant Haystacks (yes I did just Wikipedia him as talking about him made me wonder how much he did actually weigh), well these two guys were a ratings winner for ITV on a Saturday afternoon and little kids like I was used to lap it up, well I did for a bit then saw a few Bruce Lee films and thought wrestling was gay and more fixed than a father playing his son at football in the back garden. But it was fun whilst it lasted.
Sunday just gone I managed to drag myself out of bed with only 4 hours sleep and go to Brighton for the day, I am seriously thinking of moving down there as its that nice, and no that don’t make me gay, its just so lovely down there, plenty of shops and things to do.. If you haven’t been seriously check it out. I was asked to win a big dolphin on some game which involves throwing balls up some table with holes in, they have 18 players and they spin some dial with numbers on, it lands on your number then you actually manage to win you get a BIG prize. The man spun the dial and it landed on my number, then during the race the commentator was changed over and I thought nothing of it, I threw my balls and my little racing dolphin won. I asked for my BIG DOLPHIN as I had won fare and square, but the man said NO.. Yes I did go absolutely fucking mental until the fucker handed over my oversized pink dolphin. So after a minor drama I got what id won, so make sure they don’t try have you over if you manage to get down there lol
This week im DJ’ing at coliseum in Vauxhall for Exposure, so if you like your old skool House & Garage get your bums down there as it should be a wicked night.
Probably not going to continue with the Thursday nights at BOHo’s at the minute as its not really how I wanted it to be, people getting there too late and I think with summer finally here it will be nice to spend some more time doing some nice things with the fammo.
Right I’m off for now, but please do try and drop some feedback on these blogs as it shows I’m not talking, well writing to myself, and if you are silly rich and would like to pay for a much needed holiday for your truly please feel free as I am slyly knackered..
Even though I couldn’t care less about football I think I should be a bit nice and wish Millwall luck this week, as it seems the sporting thing to do, with the England hype starting and the shops trying to cash in, even my pack of razors had a flag and fucking whistle in it, but I only bought that pack because it was £3 cheaper than usual for some reason..Well hay ho.. Enjoy the weather
To be honest its just the shit society we live in and the calibre of the people cueing up for the bus, most people who don’t like them terms and conditions for travel on the bus have bought a bike like yours truly, got a car or got the trainers out, and in this weather I suggest you do the latter (which for those of you don’t understand the word latter in a sentence means “the last one”, wow I’m slyly confusing myself now)
Yes the weather has been lovely for the last couple of days and if I never mentioned it in last weeks blog I went and bought a bike to do this charity bike ride, and its just under 5 weeks away and I really do expect some of you lot to sponsor me, or I will put a gypsies curse on you, well I wont but I will however think your a tight fucker with no compassion for sick peoples. And you don’t want that on your conscience does ya?? Come on does ya? Lol
Just going over the very large park opposite so far, as I’m not being seen on road wearing the helmet that makes me look like someone I’m actually collecting for (yes I know that’s a bit bellow the belt, but its funny and I’m raising money for leukaemia not a sunshine bus lol). I have to get used to having a numb bum from the bike seat, and I don’t expect any gay sore arse jokes please.
Yeah anyway I do feel a bit of a Wally on the bike but its all part of trying to change my lifestyle and move towards being healthier and living longer. I restarted this fucking Cambridge diet yet again on Monday just gone, I weighed in at 16 stone 11lb and I am so pissed off, but with only myself to blame for eating 10 bars of chocolate a day, I cant be mad at anyone and will try use that energy to keep myself motivated. I know what I need to do, and for those actually interested I shall tells ya. I’m planning (this is the theory part of my plan, I need to make it happen) to get down to 14 stone something and gradually introduce a cooked meal of an evening to start with, but still keep my calorie intake as low as I can for now, avoiding all chocolate and snacks. This all coupled with the bike riding should start to balance out my exercise to diet ratio and help to continue to lose weight but not at such a fast rate, as the quicker you lose it, the quicker it seems to go back on if you eat junk.
Last year I got down to 15 stone and managed to stay there for ages by keeping a food diary, thus not over eating and keeping my calories at roughly 2500 a day which is the normal mans allowance, I even managed to chuck in a couple of chocolate bars at around 300 calories each, so basically ate super healthy other than the two chocolate bars. It did work, so I know I can do it, I was playing a bit of badminton as well at the time, but everyone seems to have given up on that as well so if any of you lot live in south and fancy a game of badminton just shout me because its one of the few sports I’m good at and enjoy, which is a bit of a luxury to me, as I never really got into the whole football thing for some reason. I used to watch a bit of wrestling on a Saturday as a kid, but it’s wasn’t exactly WWF or WWWF or whatever it’s bloody called these days. Yes the wrestling I’m referring to had its best wrestlers called BIG DADDY and GIANT HAYSTACK, the TV programme was called world of sport hosted by some man called Dickey Davis who wouldn’t look out of place in a 80s porno with a dodgy looking moustache and come to think of it, even his name sounds like an 80s porno star. Not that I actually knew any porno starts names in the 80s as I was only 5 years old in 1980.
Big Daddy being the good guy and weighing in at about 30 stone and looked and if I remember correctly was a granddad then, he used to bash up the bad wrestlers and he used to get the crowd involved by making them sing EASY – EASY – EASY, it was fun to watch a 50 year old man who looks like he might drop dead any minute, not that that’s why I watched it you understand. No I thought Big Daddy real name Shirley Crabtree (yes that was his not a woman’s real name, no wonder he took up a violent sport, well its not really violent is it? Its ballet for fat bloke’s lol) well at the age I was when it was on, which is about 10, I thought he was Britain’s version of the 64 million dollar man (you can Google who the hell he was, I’m not doing all the fucking work round ere lol). His arch enemy was 6ft 11 and 48 stone and went by the name Giant Haystacks (yes I did just Wikipedia him as talking about him made me wonder how much he did actually weigh), well these two guys were a ratings winner for ITV on a Saturday afternoon and little kids like I was used to lap it up, well I did for a bit then saw a few Bruce Lee films and thought wrestling was gay and more fixed than a father playing his son at football in the back garden. But it was fun whilst it lasted.
Sunday just gone I managed to drag myself out of bed with only 4 hours sleep and go to Brighton for the day, I am seriously thinking of moving down there as its that nice, and no that don’t make me gay, its just so lovely down there, plenty of shops and things to do.. If you haven’t been seriously check it out. I was asked to win a big dolphin on some game which involves throwing balls up some table with holes in, they have 18 players and they spin some dial with numbers on, it lands on your number then you actually manage to win you get a BIG prize. The man spun the dial and it landed on my number, then during the race the commentator was changed over and I thought nothing of it, I threw my balls and my little racing dolphin won. I asked for my BIG DOLPHIN as I had won fare and square, but the man said NO.. Yes I did go absolutely fucking mental until the fucker handed over my oversized pink dolphin. So after a minor drama I got what id won, so make sure they don’t try have you over if you manage to get down there lol
This week im DJ’ing at coliseum in Vauxhall for Exposure, so if you like your old skool House & Garage get your bums down there as it should be a wicked night.
Probably not going to continue with the Thursday nights at BOHo’s at the minute as its not really how I wanted it to be, people getting there too late and I think with summer finally here it will be nice to spend some more time doing some nice things with the fammo.
Right I’m off for now, but please do try and drop some feedback on these blogs as it shows I’m not talking, well writing to myself, and if you are silly rich and would like to pay for a much needed holiday for your truly please feel free as I am slyly knackered..
Even though I couldn’t care less about football I think I should be a bit nice and wish Millwall luck this week, as it seems the sporting thing to do, with the England hype starting and the shops trying to cash in, even my pack of razors had a flag and fucking whistle in it, but I only bought that pack because it was £3 cheaper than usual for some reason..Well hay ho.. Enjoy the weather
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