last weeks rant it got me thinking about things like, when did people stop cueing for the bus? I mean I can remember when people used to stand in line in the order that they arrived at the bus stop, and when the bus came you got on in the same order. If the bus was full you simply waited for the next bus to come along. Fast forward to 2010, everyone just sort of hangs around the bus stop like they was undercover police trying not to be noticed, and then when the bus comes it turns into survival of the fittest.
To be honest its just the shit society we live in and the calibre of the people cueing up for the bus, most people who don’t like them terms and conditions for travel on the bus have bought a bike like yours truly, got a car or got the trainers out, and in this weather I suggest you do the latter (which for those of you don’t understand the word latter in a sentence means “the last one”, wow I’m slyly confusing myself now)
Yes the weather has been lovely for the last couple of days and if I never mentioned it in last weeks blog I went and bought a bike to do this charity bike ride, and its just under 5 weeks away and I really do expect some of you lot to sponsor me, or I will put a gypsies curse on you, well I wont but I will however think your a tight fucker with no compassion for sick peoples. And you don’t want that on your conscience does ya?? Come on does ya? Lol
Just going over the very large park opposite so far, as I’m not being seen on road wearing the helmet that makes me look like someone I’m actually collecting for (yes I know that’s a bit bellow the belt, but its funny and I’m raising money for leukaemia not a sunshine bus lol). I have to get used to having a numb bum from the bike seat, and I don’t expect any gay sore arse jokes please.
Yeah anyway I do feel a bit of a Wally on the bike but its all part of trying to change my lifestyle and move towards being healthier and living longer. I restarted this fucking Cambridge diet yet again on Monday just gone, I weighed in at 16 stone 11lb and I am so pissed off, but with only myself to blame for eating 10 bars of chocolate a day, I cant be mad at anyone and will try use that energy to keep myself motivated. I know what I need to do, and for those actually interested I shall tells ya. I’m planning (this is the theory part of my plan, I need to make it happen) to get down to 14 stone something and gradually introduce a cooked meal of an evening to start with, but still keep my calorie intake as low as I can for now, avoiding all chocolate and snacks. This all coupled with the bike riding should start to balance out my exercise to diet ratio and help to continue to lose weight but not at such a fast rate, as the quicker you lose it, the quicker it seems to go back on if you eat junk.
Last year I got down to 15 stone and managed to stay there for ages by keeping a food diary, thus not over eating and keeping my calories at roughly 2500 a day which is the normal mans allowance, I even managed to chuck in a couple of chocolate bars at around 300 calories each, so basically ate super healthy other than the two chocolate bars. It did work, so I know I can do it, I was playing a bit of badminton as well at the time, but everyone seems to have given up on that as well so if any of you lot live in south and fancy a game of badminton just shout me because its one of the few sports I’m good at and enjoy, which is a bit of a luxury to me, as I never really got into the whole football thing for some reason. I used to watch a bit of wrestling on a Saturday as a kid, but it’s wasn’t exactly WWF or WWWF or whatever it’s bloody called these days. Yes the wrestling I’m referring to had its best wrestlers called BIG DADDY and GIANT HAYSTACK, the TV programme was called world of sport hosted by some man called Dickey Davis who wouldn’t look out of place in a 80s porno with a dodgy looking moustache and come to think of it, even his name sounds like an 80s porno star. Not that I actually knew any porno starts names in the 80s as I was only 5 years old in 1980.
Big Daddy being the good guy and weighing in at about 30 stone and looked and if I remember correctly was a granddad then, he used to bash up the bad wrestlers and he used to get the crowd involved by making them sing EASY – EASY – EASY, it was fun to watch a 50 year old man who looks like he might drop dead any minute, not that that’s why I watched it you understand. No I thought Big Daddy real name Shirley Crabtree (yes that was his not a woman’s real name, no wonder he took up a violent sport, well its not really violent is it? Its ballet for fat bloke’s lol) well at the age I was when it was on, which is about 10, I thought he was Britain’s version of the 64 million dollar man (you can Google who the hell he was, I’m not doing all the fucking work round ere lol). His arch enemy was 6ft 11 and 48 stone and went by the name Giant Haystacks (yes I did just Wikipedia him as talking about him made me wonder how much he did actually weigh), well these two guys were a ratings winner for ITV on a Saturday afternoon and little kids like I was used to lap it up, well I did for a bit then saw a few Bruce Lee films and thought wrestling was gay and more fixed than a father playing his son at football in the back garden. But it was fun whilst it lasted.
Sunday just gone I managed to drag myself out of bed with only 4 hours sleep and go to Brighton for the day, I am seriously thinking of moving down there as its that nice, and no that don’t make me gay, its just so lovely down there, plenty of shops and things to do.. If you haven’t been seriously check it out. I was asked to win a big dolphin on some game which involves throwing balls up some table with holes in, they have 18 players and they spin some dial with numbers on, it lands on your number then you actually manage to win you get a BIG prize. The man spun the dial and it landed on my number, then during the race the commentator was changed over and I thought nothing of it, I threw my balls and my little racing dolphin won. I asked for my BIG DOLPHIN as I had won fare and square, but the man said NO.. Yes I did go absolutely fucking mental until the fucker handed over my oversized pink dolphin. So after a minor drama I got what id won, so make sure they don’t try have you over if you manage to get down there lol
This week im DJ’ing at coliseum in Vauxhall for Exposure, so if you like your old skool House & Garage get your bums down there as it should be a wicked night.
Probably not going to continue with the Thursday nights at BOHo’s at the minute as its not really how I wanted it to be, people getting there too late and I think with summer finally here it will be nice to spend some more time doing some nice things with the fammo.
Right I’m off for now, but please do try and drop some feedback on these blogs as it shows I’m not talking, well writing to myself, and if you are silly rich and would like to pay for a much needed holiday for your truly please feel free as I am slyly knackered..
Even though I couldn’t care less about football I think I should be a bit nice and wish Millwall luck this week, as it seems the sporting thing to do, with the England hype starting and the shops trying to cash in, even my pack of razors had a flag and fucking whistle in it, but I only bought that pack because it was £3 cheaper than usual for some reason..Well hay ho.. Enjoy the weather
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