WEDNESDAY 2ND MARCH 2011 > HAIRY LEMON

Good evening children i hope your sitting comfortably, aqs our story will begin before you have had time to close all the windows and doors to keep out the bogey man...hang on a minute, why name a scary character after the snot up my nose? it sort of makes him or her (as we are living in PC madness these days, and not the bloody computer people either you thick cunt lol) less frightening doesn't it? i remember going to stay with my aunt Annie in Norfolk and being told we had to go to bed or some dude called Hairy Lemon will put us in his sack, not Harry! yes Hairy, this dude sounded pretty scary at the time as i was about 6. i was also promised a ice cream as big as me which never fucking materialised either, i feel to ring the old woman up now and tell i want payment and im not feeling 10003 litre tubs for £1 from Iceland, i want Ben & Jerry's cookie dough, and if you dont like that then you my friend are just weird and probably wet the bed still.

i just wikipedia'ed bogeyman and he is known all over as the man who sorts out naughty children and commonly has a sack, so in some places is just know as "Sack Man" sort of like a superhero for adults to get kids to do whatever they want.. i hope there's no pedos reading this getting ideas, because Jesus sees all, yeah that's pretty much my Jesus threat.. He sees all and does fuck all about it, like having CCTV with no record facility that's located 409 thousand miles away from where the camera is actually situated. bit of an empty threat all round really.. thanks Jesus you really take your work seriously i see.

So No Gypsy news to report this week other than they are all still alive and tarmacking drives, selling pegs and conning dishonest folk out of money up and down the country and of course polishing the waltzes up so they can charge us £3 each a go of them then try palm us off with goldfish that die in 24 hours for fixed hoopla games.

that Model agency program that i thought looked good was actually a pile of shit, i watched it and spend the whole time wondering how long it would take for the paint to dry if i painted my bedroom wall, channel 4 however have promised us some more Gypsy shows in the near future, last week we had my idea for a Eastenders style gypsy program and this week my suggestions are

Gypsy - mister & missus: The man trys to remember the last time he was nice to his wife & the woman gives helpful cleaning and polishing tips as well as remembering a list of his favourite dinners.

The Real "Gypsy" Hustle: this focus's on the day to day life of the breadwinner as he manages to con unsuspecting members of the public out of their money and unlike its bbc version, they do not return the money at the end of the con.

Gypsy Watchdog: unlike the program on TV at the moment this is just a play on words and is actually a show where they offer a dog minding service and then steal your dog off you and sell it for breeding.


The Only Way Is Essex To Park Your Caravan: this show is just chaos where they follow the elite of Essex society and a bunch of gypsies move next door to Sugar hut and use it as their local. This Grabbing & fighting spectacular is not to be missed!


Last night i had the pleasure of taking my 18 year old son to the Devlin concert, i took him and his mate to the pub first and realised ive never bought him a pint before so thought it fitting to do such an honoured tradition that is passed down from father to son.. after hitting the pub we went into the 02 academy in Islington and watched from the balcony as Mc after Mc came out the wings and performed. i will be honest and say im not grime fan, im not even a devlin fan, but the music and energy was to good it was hard not to like and actually enjoy the experience. my son is a massive fan of the artists and i was able to get us an invite to the artists after party where he got to meet all his Heroes and got pictures and got to hang out with Devlin which made his year, was nice seeing him so happy.. i told him i want a solid gold watch for fathers day this year and his response was how he would like to meet Katy B now as he knows i know her.. cheeky sod. seriously though if you get a chance to see Devlin & co live, get yourself there!!

We are recording part 8 this Monday of our Big and Clever Podcast and i am asking that if you would like to contribute to the show by sending us your funny stories, school reports or anything amusing you think will be funny then please email me on mrdblaze@hotmail.com and you will be credited as supplying the material. it is going really well but still needs you to subscribe to it via http://mrqw.es/t/bigandclever been number 1 in the new and noteworthy chart 4 times now, with the weekly statistics coming out every Friday and so far a thousand more downloads a week being added to our staggering total. its had next to no promotion and we would love so much for you to recommend it to friends and colleges by using the link above.

Also last Saturday i played at Suppliers birthday bash at Opera house which was wicked, had loads of fun seeing people i haven't seen in ages, loads of people came up and said they love the podcast, all i can say is thank you!! means loads trust me x


Right thats it from me for this week, remember you can give feedback on the podcasts & Blogs please message me on twitter @IamDannyBlaze >> email or just facebook me back>> all feedback is welcome and i do try to reply to everyone!!


This Saturday sees the launch of our night in bloomsbury's kingpin suite where we filmed our music video last summer, its called strictly house and the line up is
FUNK MOB - SUPA D
MAJESTY - PEREMPAY
KISMET - TEASER
MA1 - MJEM-RIDZ
GEMINI - DOGTANIAN
SPIDEY G - CREED
for 2 free mix cds you can download them here:


The SIMPLY HOUSEMIX CD; The simply house mix cd features MC Creed and is mixed by the Funk Mob:- http://www.sendspace.com/pro/dl/ud3d4w


Also download the award winning Funk mob cd feat Mc versatile, Coldsteps and Nikkie.s
http://www.sendspace.com/pro/dl/ql2m4s