So the weathers gone from one extreme to another last few days, so if you had all your shorts and t shirts washed, ironed and ready to go then like me you will be thinking what a fucking waste of time that was. I am going to carry on last week’s topic I think regarding one extreme to the other and the drug topic which a few of you lot found to be quite similar to your own experiences. Remember I am not bragging or encouraging anyone to take drugs because apart from being expensive they can ruin you lives and the lives of others around you.
After discovering pills at about 21/ 22 years old I was living in brockley house on east street, it was a one bedroom flat we rented of a girl called Amanda who I hated because she came across as a bully, she did ultimately let us stay there so I cant really say anything bad about her. Whilst living there I had no income and things were super tight, there are low points in my life that I remember and a couple of them were whilst living there, such as going to the shop with about 40p in pennies to buy a chocolate bar and it felt like a tramp paying for my twirl completely in coppers, but my addiction and craving for chocolate was so strong that the shame was worth the reward of the intense velvet flavored bar. Another low point which you may think is me over reacting was cooking a sausage stir fry. Now you may think there’s nothing wrong with putting sausages and rice together in a wok and knocking up an English twist to an ancient Chinese dish that’s been around since time began, other than the fact I don’t like sausages. But being poor the choices you get in life are slimmer than a supermodel with and eating disorder.
It’s amazing how your financial situation can motivate you into things that you might otherwise consider to be not your thing or how good something tastes when you haven’t eaten for that day, even if the said meal is something you hate.
At that time in my life its fair to say I had given up on a few things thinking life was going to always be that shit, I had the court case for access to my kids going on which was killing me, I was getting weekly letters from my kids mums solicitors calling me all the names under the sun. I wasn’t working and I had recently discovered the joys of taking drugs, namely ecstasy which was like taking a problem forgetting pill and all the hurt used to go away for that particular period.
What I then done was not to set up a shop or stall, but what came next seemed like a natural progression as if promoted from user to seller. I realized that I could make enough money to pay for my weekends out partying and have enough left over to get me through the week without having to scrape together pennies to buy chocolate bars and basic dinners. I’m not saying I went and bought a car or house, I was strictly small time.
After all, I knew people that I had grown up with selling FAKE pills by going and getting pro plus or any tablets on sale that could pass as ecstasy. Then file them down if necessary to remove any writing then finally coat them in “stop n grow” the nasty tasting substance used to coat your nails to stop you biting them. This made the pill taste bitter when taken so the person taking it believes that they are not buying a dud pill. As clever as it sounds I didn’t actually agree with this way of earning a living because sooner or later they would end up taking a beating because you cant go to trading standards with a faulty pill and get a refund off anyone, this was strictly a dangerous area of the field that I was only to happy to stay away from.
Not that I thought what I was doing was ok either, but I thought quite selfishly that I was not hurting anyone and having quite a good time in the process, meeting loads of new people and some of them people cant do enough for you, you are elevated into a position of folk hero, breaking the law for the good of the people who wanted to get wasted. Well that’s how it felt at the time. But the laws of club land are very different from the laws on the streets, for instance think about this.. dance clubs emerged off the back of illegal raves in the mid to late 80s and promotions and clubs were run by a lot of the people who put together the illegal raves, so how do you go from organizing illegal raves filled with drugs and drug dealers who were making thousands of pounds a night to running a legit club with no drugs in?? Answer you don’t. And why would you?
Some clubs and I am going to say some as my get out, some clubs allowed dealers to operate inside the club with the clubs blessing for a fee, now I’m not going to pretend I know every in and out of this operation because I have never done it on behalf of a club, the things I am presenting to you are things I have witnessed and been told whilst going out clubbing for years in a scene I loved and worshiped.
Going out was like a birthday at the end of a very stressed week, I was pretty much living for the weekends, no real money or work but having them weekends made up for a lot of the shit things that were going on at the time. I had to do a drug course later on when I was about 29 to be able to teach DJ workshops in schools and I remember the guy teaching us saying that ecstasy in its purest form is pretty safe if taken properly, I couldn’t believe my ears.
There hasn’t been enough study into it to say otherwise, but I am not going to suggest you do it, after all the downsides are looking down syndrome, sweating like a pedophile in a playground as well as the comedowns and depression you suffer after prolonged usage, it can also lead to paranoia and trigger mental breakdowns, because remember what goes up must come down.
Drugs and drink are responsible for many situations that I have been in that I wouldn’t have been in otherwise, some of them good and others bad, anyone who says they remain unaffected from years of drug taking are probably not aware of their symptoms or the long term damage they have suffered.
Before I rap up this bit about drugs I want you to be aware of a few facts, more people die each year from alcohol related incidents including drinking alcohol and smoking than any drug related incidents. If the governments legalized drugs here, we would have to be friends and do business with the people we have been demonising since time began and it would be very hard to tax, after all people have been smuggling them in and can get around paying the tax. Look at the cigarette situation in this county, abroad fags are cheap, but if you’re a smoker in the UK you have to pay a high duty on them because they are addictive and people will continue to buy them even if they get to £10 for 20. But now we are at the stage where we all know someone selling cigarettes illegally, you can get 200 for £20/£25 depending on your brand, as a county we are standing up to the government and saying we won’t stop smoking but we will not pay what you want us to.. (now reading back it seems like I’m really interested in politics, but let me reassure you I’m not, I just like to be aware and I’m a nosey fucker lol)
Fucking hell another rant over, quickly I know I shouldn’t and I said I wouldn’t but I’m 4 days in on this Cambridge diet, I feel pissed off its got to this but I need to get down to what I want to be and its very hard as per this topic being all or nothing, I could lie and what have you, but I cant be arsed.
I will let you know how I get on, please remember to drop your feedback, it does make me feel like I’m not sitting in a room babbling and going mad lol
Right in the words of jerry Springer >> fuck off lol
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